This was going to be called Stuart's little adventure, but we did not want
people to think it was a story about a mouse...
So for all you who are curious, we decided to follow Stuart MacBride for a
day. While we suspected it might be six hours of him sleeping in his
backyard and attempting to communicate with the nearby frolicking squirrels,
the truth was far more disturbing...
In our first photo, Stuart is running from the grounds of Buckingham Palace.
In a bold publicity move, he decided to copy the Father's rights groups and
dress as a super hero. But in a huge blunder, he mistakenly thought the
superhero, "The Flash" was not just his name but what he did. The Queen was
After that embarrassment, he boarded a plane from Heathrow and flew to New
York City to join up with John Rickards an a lunch hour tour for the
bluegrass band "Stewie and the Cowtones". Their breakout hit "My fat baby
loves to eat" Hear the live performance** Stuart was on Banjo and lead vocals and John was backup vocals and washboard player. In this photo, You can see them playing before a harmonica playing chimp scared them off.
With their musical careers in shambles, they both took a plane and flew to
Sidney. We caught up to them at the Olympic site traveling by van to
practice for the demonstration sport of Male Synchronized Swimming. Their
hopes were dashed when they witnessed the Chinese team.
So they flew to China. We caught up with them in the Forbidden City after
they were told by their new swimming coach "You too dense, never float". So
they resolved to return to England and continue being writers. But first a
brief stop in Moscow to "sign some books"
We found them at their final destination, where they were seen fleeing Red
Square on a bus after "accidentally" thawing out Lenin. They were arrested
and taken by the FSB and were exchanged for two Russian authors who were in
jail for an undisclosed reason involving vodka, fish sticks and a heavy set
woman named Olga. After catching a ride on a CIA-chartered flight, they were
back home in time for tea (and a gin chaser)
Just imagine what Stuart has in store for tomorrow!
Of course, we'd rather not think about what John has planned. But at least he left the assless chaps out of this one! (Just keep up the washboard playing John.)
* This post may not have been written by me.
** I'm not exactly a toothpick - no offense intended.