I used to love reading the comics on Saturday morning. Appropriately, I got a funny email from a friend, and thought I'd share it. Hope it makes you guys smile!
I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.
Life is sexually transmitted.
Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt."
Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
Do you ever wonder why you gave me your email address?