Leave It To The Bearded Troublemaker

When Mark buggered off for all points Canadian he dropped a little hint about a possible TV deal. Now I don't know if this is something for him to go act in, or a highly lucrative deal for the Thorne books which would see his barefoot children in sling-back espadrilles for the rest of their days.

I always give Markiepoos a hard time about his stint in Maid Marion And Her Merry Men (pure jealousy on my part, I'd love to do stuff like that), but IF there is going to be a Thorne series, who do you think Mark should play?

Rampant egotist that he is.

The minute Mark Billingham goes on tour, Naughty Beard Boy pops up on Mark’s Talk Zone and starts with the mischief. It’s even come to the point where Stuart’s stated, I think (Mark would) be good as Hendricks. Or Toughan! He looks deviant enough to play that frottage-obsessed wee poop.

I have to say that I warned the kiddies to behave or I’d tell Mark… And sticking up a thread called Talking About Mark Behind His Back was begging for trouble.

So, I gave Mark a chance to respond to Stuart and then some. Ah, another interview that I will relish holding on to, until it’s time to print it. ☺ If only to make Stuart sweat a bit.

I’ve known Mark for over a year now and this was good fun. Mark is one of the most down-to-earth people. If he knows you he makes a point of coming over and saying hi.

Hmmm. I wonder if I’m allowed to share what he wrote in my copy of Buried? Of course, if I did it would prompt an immediate reaction from MacBeardyboy. Perhaps I should just enjoy knowing what I know. After all, Stuart deserves what he gets. Lord knows he asks for it.

Anyway, I had a great day. Went downtown to the posh hotel they’d stuck Mark in and met up with Mark. We went for lunch at a place called Belgo, which was packed, so we ended up eating at the bar. After that it was a quieter venue for coffee and the official interview.

Whenever I do these interviews in person, I end up with plenty of tape to go through. It takes anywhere from four to six hours for me to transcribe a tape, depending on distractions, because I can only go at it for so long before I need a break.

And one of the reasons it can take a while is that I’m so busy laughing I miss things. There are definitely big chunks of this one that will have me in stitches.

Except I didn’t give Mark a chance to respond to how he came up in the Jess Lourey interview. Hmmm. I’ll see him one last time in Calgary, in a few hours. Maybe I should let him see how his name came up…

And now, time for a truly tasteless blonde joke

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU GET BLONDE GENIES. . .

A guy is walking along a beach when he comes across a lamp partially buried in the sand. He picks up the lamp and gives it a rub.

Two blonde genies appear, and they tell him he has been granted three wishes. The guy makes his three wishes and the blonde genies disappear.

The next thing the guy knows, he's in a bedroom, in a mansion, surrounded by 50 beautiful women. He makes love to all of them and begins to explore the house. Suddenly he feels something soft under his feet. He looks down and notices the floor is covered in $100 bills.

Next, there's a knock at the door, so he answers it. Standing there are two persons dressed in Ku Klux Klan outfits. They drag him outside to the nearest tree, throw a rope over a sturdy limb, and hang him by the neck until he's dead.

As the Klansmen are walking away, they remove their hoods. It's the two blonde genies! One blonde genie says to the other, "I can understand the first wish--having all those beautiful women in a big mansion to make love to. I can also understand him wanting to be a millionaire. But, why he wanted to be hung like a black man is beyond me!"