Headphones and ear muffs

“It's surely now firmly established that Dan Brown's The Da Vinci Code is not just a work of fiction. He claims certain parts of the book to be factual and must therefore be held accountable. Problem is, almost all of those alleged facts are false.”

Michael Coren’s column, Da Vinci Code a Disgrace, goes on to discuss why Christians have a right to take offense with Da Vinci Code.

I’ve gone blog to blog, seeing post after post about DVC, but when I saw this editorial...

You see, I haven’t read The Da Vinci Code. I have absolutely no interest. It always brings to mind The Bridges of Madison Country, which I didn’t buy, but a friend gave me. And I read it and was disgusted.

Get beyond whether or not the writing is good writing. That’s not what I’m talking about. Bridges annoyed me because of everything surrounding it. Interviews with the writer, talking about how his mom had sacrificed this great love to keep their family together.

Bull fucking shit.

Where do you get that in the book I read?

Okay okay, I read Bridges a long time ago. But what I remember is some housewife, with all the pressures of real life, getting infatuated with a guy who paid a bit of attention to her. Was it the love of her life? Hello, people. Marry anybody, and I don’t care how perfect you are for each other, sooner or later reality kicks in. You know, the part that boils down to having jobs, cleaning the house, doing the chores, raising the kids, paying the bills… The part of marriage that’s about seeing each other at their worst and still loving each other.

Cover your eyes you romantics. It isn’t all being swept off your feet in a Harlequin moment.

And that really bugged me about that book. Well, I guess it explains why I don’t read much romance. Or, well, any romance. Hell, it probably explains why my weekend has been spent curling up with Simon Kernick books. Uh, if you haven’t read them, insert not fluffy and romantic right here. Incidentally, the two first quotes on my blog post yesterday were from his book, The Murder Exchange.

To get back on track, for whatever reason TDC has stuck in my head as the new Bridges and that played against it from the start. It was the book too many people were talking about.

And then someone actually told me what it was about.

I knew right then I didn’t want to read it.

Because I knew it would offend me.

Now, those of you who are familiar with Simon’s books likely know nobody does hard-boiled like Simon Kernick. Especially when power tools are involved. The fact that nobody’s made movies of his books astounds me. They are edge-of-your-seat, action-packed total guy movie stories. Ian Rankin single-handedly converted me to the crime genre. Simon Kernick single-handedly converted me to hard-boiled. I think if anyone inspired me to write Fucked Again, it was definitely Simon.

So you might be wondering why on earth TDC would offend me. I mean, if I can handle some of the blood splatter in a great Simon Kernick read, what does it take to put me over the edge?

Religion.

I wasn’t raised to be religious. I was raised to be an atheist, essentially. And I am not Catholic. But I believe in God and I sorted out my beliefs on my own. I’ve read the Bible. I’ve graduated from Bible school.

I’ve also been a, ahem, missionary. A lifetime ago.

This isn’t something I like talking about. As far as I’m concerned, my religious views are none of anybody’s business. Okay, I’ve come a long way over the past 19 years and there aren’t too many people who see things the way I do. I’m not involved in anything organized. I left the church. My faith, my convictions, are between me and God.

And like I said, they’re nobody’s business.

Now, I haven’t gone around and read everything Mr Brown has had to say on the subject, but apparently – and I’ve seen this in several sources, heard it on tv – he’s asserted that the conspiracy in TDC is true.

And as this column By Michael Coren asserts:

“Uncle Tom's Cabin was just a novel but changed attitudes towards race and slavery more than any noble work of non-fiction. Charles Dickens' novels transformed British social policy in the nineteenth-century, H.G. Wells' science fiction heavily influenced European views on disarmament and peace, George Orwell's fiction changed our vocabulary and our perception of state power.
Brown is no Dickens or Orwell, but surveys have revealed that enormous numbers of people believe his book and assume that organized Christianity is indeed an international conspiracy based on lies and violence.”

I know it’s just a book. And you won’t see me at a book burning or campaigning to have the movie boycotted.

But, particularly if surveys are demonstrating that people really believe in this, I support the right of the Catholic Church to take offense and to stand up against this movie.

Bottom line, supposedly, free speech is still valued in our society. People have the right to express their views.

So why the hell shouldn’t people in the church have the right to take a stand for theirs?

Honestly, I haven’t wanted to wade in because I have no interest in this book, no interest in this movie, and no plans to ever subject myself to so much as an hour’s entertainment based off of TDC. I’ve got nothing personal against Dan Brown. I don’t know him. I just have no interest in this.

And I wish fervently that people wouldn’t see the movie, it would tank and people would stop talking about it because I’m sick of it. Horridly selfish of me, isn’t it?

But just because I’m sick of it, it doesn’t mean I’m going to slam anyone’s right to free speech or free choice.

If people take offense to this movie/book, they have the right to go out there and say what they feel.

Meanwhile, I’m going back to wearing headphones covered by ear muffs, even if we are in the middle of a heat wave. Because I’m hypocritical enough to say that while I respect their right to free speech, I also respect my right not to listen to any of it.

For or against the damn movie.

PLEASE, somebody tell me you did something this weekend OTHER THAN go see TDC.