10:30am Friday September 29 I won’t be able to hide. I’ll be on a panel at Bouchercon, a panel being chaired by John Rickards! Yes, he's coming to Bouchercon! I’m guessing that obscene t-shirts and horsefucking likely won’t go over well with the B’con people, so once we’ve figured out what we’re talking about, I’ll tell you more.
Seriously, it looks like a good group and like John has some pretty good ideas already. Hopefully, he won’t take revenge on me for writing poetry laced with sexual inferences about him and Stuart MacBride months ago.
If you’re in the mood for some righteous indignation, check out Jeff Shelby’s You, My Friend, Are A Huge Jackass. This is simply one of the best blog posts…ever.
Some People Are Just Sick and why the hell haven’t they released the name?
Don't forget to check out the book meme below. Oh, and, in case this post is still here twice, it has been deleted. When I click on the editing button, it says it doesn't exist.
From my friend Linda
AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES
1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto. The blockage will be almost instantly removed.
2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
3. Avoid arguments with the little woman about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.
4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.
5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are. You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape. Also, remember everyone seems normal until you get to know them. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom. If you shop anywhere but Wal-Mart, you are just showing off! And finally, be really nice to your family and friends; you never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan.
GURNEY TALK from Forrest.
Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on gurneys next to each other outside the operating room.
The first kid leans over and asks, "What are you in here for?"
The second kid says, "I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous."
The first kid says, "You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It's a breeze."
The second kid then asks, "What are you here for?"
The first kid says," A circumcision."
The second kid says, "Whoa, Good luck buddy! I had that done when I was born. Couldn't walk for a year."