Fed Up To Here (BSP pet peeves)

This continues my thoughts on BSP, so you might want to read my Killer Year post first and then come back for my rant, and the final day of the ARC contest.

I’m not a good person to annoy. Let me tell you a story. A few years ago, when we still lived in Vancouver, I was jogging up the stairs as the phone rang. I was in such a rush to get it before the machine picked up I did something I seldom do – I answered it without looking at the call display.

I said hello a few times. Finally someone said hello back. Then they said, in an assertive manner, “Is this Mrs. EYEnarson.” Okay, don’t know this voice, they said my name wrong…

“Who’s calling?”

“Is this Mrs. Einarson?”

”Who’s calling?”

We repeated that a few more times before the person finally said, “(company I won’t name because Kevin would have a fit) - Is this Mrs. Einarson?”

But the guy had slurred the words so fast, and I was angry, so I had to ask him to repeat what he said. I should have just hung up.

He actually screamed at me, “Are you going to answer my questions?”

Hell no, buddy. I’m not. By this time, the fact that he was calling from (company I won’t name because Kevin would have a fit) was a telemarketer, and was unbelievably rude had all sunk in.

I hung up the phone and called directory assistance. Using the number that had registered, I was able to track the call center in Ontario. And I reported the incident to a manager there, along with an explanation of why I would never consider using their services in the future as a result of that call.

Now, we’ve had a security issue in our family. I don’t automatically identify myself to anyone I don’t know on the phone. This is common sense. In fact, when we moved in here, I was being harassed by someone about cleaning our furnace. We have a boiler. Five calls along, the guy thought I was the kid. When he asked me when my mother would be home I said, “I’m not allowed to tell strangers that on the phone.”

He hasn’t called back since.

But friends, I’ve got to ask you – what the hell is a salesperson like this thinking? Ask a kid when their mother’s coming home? WTF? If I ever caught my niece or nephew answering that to a stranger I’d go ballistic on the caller, and I’d contact the media.

And I don’t think I’m overreacting. That shows a complete lack of common sense, and as someone who’s spent years working in the field of education, my radar is perhaps a bit too sensitive, but I’d rather lean that way.

Not to mention, I hate telemarketers to begin with. I mean, come on. People who knock at my door while I’m about to sit down to dinner with my husband or phone and impose on my time while I’m working frustrate the hell out of me. I can’t even stand it when salespeople hover when I go into stores, which means I’m actually looking for something. Imposing on my time, my space? If you add getting the slightest bit snippy to that you’re toast.

I recently saw a publisher moaning about how hard it is to promote new authors. Oddly enough, this is one I’d emailed about reviews, who never wrote me back. Do you want to promote or do you want to complain?

Look, I’m not saying it’s easy. It isn’t. But I lose sympathy for people who make reckless suggestions to authors, and who don’t even seek out viable opportunities right in front of them.

The sad thing is, the people who are horrid and abusive with BSP will still be awful long after people have forgotten about this post, because they really don’t seem to understand how their actions make them look, and if people feel defensive, they’ll cling to the one positive result and tune out the negatives.

It’s the people like me, who don’t want to turn into nothing but self-promoters, who will take all of this to heart, perhaps withdraw for fear of offending people.

This is the most delicate balance to walk. New authors have no choice but to find ways to reach readers. Most new authors just don’t get the push from the publishers that’s needed to get nominated for awards, to get press buzz, to get on panels at conferences, to get carried in bookstores, or even to get blurbs or reviews. The authors, more and more, have to deal with this themselves.

Then we’ve got people complaining on forums about books being delayed. Well, duh. When, exactly, are the authors supposed to write and edit when they’re so busy marketing?

Don’t get me wrong. I’ll do events gladly. If I can get on panels, that’s fantastic. But for me, the point is that I’m interested in talking to readers. It’s worth it to me to make myself available that way, which is, in part, why I have my email address available online. Although some of my lingering shyness that exerts itself at times might be interpreted as snobbishness, in truth I want to be approachable. I’m working on it.

I’m just a person, who’s passionate about books and particularly mysteries, an avid reader and reviewer (and interviewer and editor), who happens to be a writer, who managed to sell a book, which means I’m a soon-to-be-published author.

But the latter means that, to many, I’m no longer qualified as any of the former. I’ve been slotted into another category, and can never undo that.

Which, to me, is sad. Because I always want to express my enthusiasm for the works of Ian Rankin, for his influence that turned me to writing crime fiction. For Val McDermid and how she taught me to add a new dimension to what I was doing. For Stuart MacBride, a friend, an awesome talent and rising star in the crime fiction world. For Cornelia Read, another friend, someone who has become a confidante, the shoulder I always know I have if I need. For Mark Billingham, who has often provided ears, shoulders and wisdom, and Simon Kernick, who has encouraged me so much…

For all of them and so many many more, who I’ve loved first as authors, their books captivating me and inspiring me. Also people I’ve been fortunate enough to get to know and admire.

It’s just so damn easy for me to tell you to buy their books. Because their books are fantastic, compelling reads I’ve enjoyed immensely.

Doesn’t hurt that they’re all great people too.

But buy my book? I hope some people do, but not because I pressured them into it.

Perhaps the wisdom is at Killer Year today, with the comments I collected from readers.

Here, I just had to vent.

Because last night I deleted a dozen spam posts from my blog that all came in within a few hours.

And it really pissed me off.

Jason Pinter’s latest Killer Year blog post, 20 Surefire Tips To Get Your Book Published has to be one of the funniest things I’ve read in a long while. If you missed it, check it out!

Want more reader thought on the topic? Check out this thread on Mark Billingham’s talk zone. Skip the first post, where I ask forum members their opinions. Do they mind having other authors participate on Mark’s forum? Does it influence them to try new books?

You might find the answers interesting.

Win an ARC of my debut novel!
So, you can enter for every day. I don’t care, I’m easy. I’ll put all the names into a hat, and announce a winner eventually. The questions go back to my post last Thursday, and they all have clues.

Today, what will my question be?

I’ll give you three questions – you can answer any one of them. Answer two and you get entered twice.

1. The name of The Author Formerly Known As God
2. The name of the author who wrote The Torment of Others (which, despite the beliefs of local booksellers, is not a true crime book)
3. The name of the author who has a blog called On Life And Other Inconveniences

Oh, and I don’t think I said anywhere that you actually needed to answer correctly.

Email sandra.ruttan@spinetinglermag.com and you can enter for all 7 days. Okay okay, I’ll announce the winner tomorrow, although the ARC won’t be available until next month.

JT sent me this joke, and it seemed appropriate today…
A minister concluded that his church was getting into serious financial trouble. While checking the church storeroom, he discovered several cartons of new bibles that had never been opened and distributed. So at his Sunday sermon, he asked for three volunteers from the congregation who would be willing to sell the bibles door-to-door for $10 each to raise the desperately needed money for the church. Peter, Paul and
Louie all raised their hands to volunteer for the task. The minister knew that Peter and Paul earned their living as salesmen and were likely capable of selling some bibles. But he had serious doubts about Louie who was a local farmer, who had always kept to himself because he was embarrassed by his speech impediment. Poor Louie stuttered badly. But, not wanting to discourage Louie, the minister decided to let him try anyway. He sent the three of them away with the back seat of their cars stacked with bibles. He asked them to meet with him and report the results of their door-to-door selling efforts the following Sunday.

Anxious to find out how successful they were, the minister immediately asked Peter, "Well, Peter, how did you make out selling our bibles last week?"

Proudly handing the reverend an envelope, Peter replied, "Using my sales prowess, I was able to sell 20 bibles, and here's the $200 I collected on behalf of the church."

"Fine job, Peter!" the minister said, vigorously shaking his hand "You are indeed a fine salesman and the church is indebted to you."

Turning to Paul, "And Paul, how many bibles did you sell for the church last week?"

Paul, smiling and sticking out his chest, confidently replied, "I am a professional salesman. I sold 28 bibles on behalf of the church, and here's $280 I collected."

The minister responded, "That's absolutely splendid, Paul. You are truly a professional salesman and the church is also indebted to you."

Apprehensively, the minister turned to Louie and said, "And Louie, did you manage to sell any bibles last week?"

Louie silently offered the minister a large envelope. The reverend opened it and counted the contents.

"What is this?" the minister exclaimed. "Louie, there's $3,200 in here!
Are you suggesting that you sold 320 bibles for the church, door-to-door, in just one week?

Louie just nodded.

"That's impossible!" both Peter and Paul said in unison. "We are professional salesmen, yet you claim to have sold 10 times as many bibles as we could."

"Yes, this does seem unlikely," the minister agreed. "I think you'd better explain how you managed to accomplish this, Louie."

Louie shrugged. "I-I-I re-re-really do-do-don't kn-kn-know f-f-f-for sh-sh-sh-sure," he stammered.

Impatiently, Peter interrupted. "For crying out loud, Louie, just tell us what you said to them when they answered the door!"

"A-a-a-all I-I-I- s-s-said wa-wa-was," Louie replied, "w-w-w-w-would y-y-y-you l-l-l-like t-t-to b-b-b-buy th-th-th-this b-b-b-b-bible f-f-for t-t-ten b-b-b-bucks, o-o-or wo-wo-would yo-you j-j-j-just l-l-like m-m-me t-t-to st-st-stand h-h-here and r-r-r-read it t-t-to y-y-you?