Saturday, April 22, 2006

Saturday Smiles

Not nearly enough people tried out the slogan generator yesterday, but James did make a comment about it that prompted me to test out his name:

“It’s a James Oswald Adventure.”

What’s wrong with that, James? Just because it infers you’re like a Disneyland theme park or an amusement ride… Ahem, moving right along to Stuart MacBride.

“Only Stuart MacBride can prevent forest fires.”

By not playing with matches to start with?

John Rickards is back after a long holiday, chasing horses and badgers around various undisclosed locations. Since I didn’t talk about him behind his back while he was gone, I thought I’d try him out today too.***

“Nothin’ says lovin’ like John Rickards from the oven.” JA Konrath? “Leaves your JA Konrath minty not mediciney.” So he’s more breath mint than lozenge?

Tribe? “Don’t get mad, get Tribe.”

After all that, I still had to try out Cornelia Read, because Cornelia will be joining the world of bloggers next week!** What did I get?

“It’s a lot less Cornelia Read than a Hoover.”

Are they suggesting Cornelia lacks suction?*

Still having some time to kill instead of mowing the lawn, I tried out the automatic flatterer. Lonely, with nobody to tell you how great you are? This is the thing for you. I got:

“Sandra Ruttan, you are one of the most talented people we know.” Why thank you.

“You are smart, intelligent and beautiful Sandra Ruttan.” Liar, but tell me more.

Of course, my online entertainment continued. I dropped by James Lincoln Warren’s excellent blog and
found something priceless that requires the sound on! (Wait for it!)

Although it does seem a bit perverse to find it funny that a guy who failed a suicide attempt with a nail gun ended up with a headache because of – you guessed it – having nails stuck in his head.

Come on guys. Try out the flatterer and tell me what you got. I showed you mine…

The Perfect Dress
Jennifer's wedding day was fast approaching.
Nothing could dampen her excitement -- not even her parents' nasty divorce. Her mother had found the PERFECT dress to wear and would be the best-dressed mother-of-the-bride ever!

A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father's new young wife had bought the exact same dress! Jennifer asked her to exchange it, but she refused. "Absolutely not. I look like a million bucks in this dress, and I'm wearing it," she replied.

Jennifer told her mother who graciously said, "Never mind sweetheart. I'll get another dress. After all, it's your special day."

A few days later, they went shopping and did find another gorgeous dress. When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother, "Are you going to return the other dress? You really don't have another occasion where you could wear it."

Her mother just smiled and replied, "Of course I do, dear. I'm wearing it to the rehearsal dinner!"

*** Not like that, Boy Kim.

** I tried Russel D. McLean and got, “Tonight, let it be Russel D. McLean." Okay, the slogan generator has a one-track mind…

* I’m going to be spanked for this, I just know it.


Boy Kim said...


Get Busy With the Kim (I like this one)
Because So Much Is Riding On Your Kim (ummm... not for a while now, if I'm honest)


What a beautiful name, Kim (yep)
Kim you are fabulous (thanks, but I know)


"Not like that, Boy Kim"

Ok then. Show me how you like it.

Sandra Ruttan said...

Oh Kim, I forgot to dedicate that song to you - the third verse should give all the Welshman pause.

Erik Ivan James said...


"Biting the Hand that Feeds Erik"
"Stimulation for Body and Gazebo"

I'd have like them better if they'd have said:

"Don't bite Erik's hand while he stimulates your Body in the Gazebo"

Boy Kim said...

I'm quite happy with hands and feet, thanks.

Sandra Ruttan said...

I like #3 Erik!

Boy Kim, LOL!

Anonymous said...

Great story over at Demolition, Sandra! I really enjoyed all those unique bits of characterization sprinkled in. :D

Cornelia Read said...

Um... may I please have an alterno-slogan?:

Doing It Right Before Your Cornelia Read.

Uh-oh, Better Get Cornelia Read.

They're Yummy For Your Cornelia Read.

Keep That Cornelia Read Complexion.

It's That Cornelia Read Feeling.

M. G. Tarquini said...

I paid the flatterer to make all those nice statements, Sandra.

mea culpa.

Sandra Ruttan said...

Thx Jason.

Cornelia, that last one, what are you feeling? Or should I say who? I think I'd go with the first one you got.

Hope it didn't bankrupt you Mindy!

Bonnie Calhoun said...

At least I can say the one I got today.

We don't make Bonnie Calhoun. We make Bonnie Calhoun better.

Sandra Ruttan said...

Should've paid me, Bonnie! I'd say The Fabulous Bonnie Calhoun Needs No Improvement!

anne frasier said...

my slogan:


Sandra Ruttan said...

Ha! Great one, Anne!

Steve Allan said...

Mine: Come Fly The Friendly Steve.

Could this also be a pick-up line generator?

Sandra Ruttan said...

Could be Steve, but then, it didn't do much for Stuart did it?

Steve Allan said...

Maybe you have to read it like a fortune cookie - add "in bed" at the end of each one.

Sandra Ruttan said...

"Only Stuart MacBride can prevent forest fires in bed."

Guess we know what fizzles instead of sizzles.

Bonnie Calhoun said...

Awhh! You're so sweet. I wish I could promote you more on my blog. but you'd get me excommunicated...We don't do that!...but it would be something as equally painful1...LOL

David Terrenoire said...

I'm not sure I like this.

"David Terrenoire. A Tragedy For The Ages."

Ain't it the truth.

Sandra Ruttan said...

Sue the slogan generator! That's just plain mean and not true!