Monday, March 20, 2006

Simple Logic

The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and will tell you whether how intelligent you are. Scroll down for each answer. The questions are NOT that difficult. But don't scroll down UNTIL you have answered each question!

1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?
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The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.

2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
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Did you say, Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the refrigerator?

Wrong Answer.

Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions.

3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend... except one. Which animal does not attend?
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Correct Answer: The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there. This tests your memory. Okay, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your true abilities.

4. There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat. How do you manage it?
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Correct Answer: You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting. This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.

According to Anderson Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the professionals they tested got all questions wrong, but many preschoolers got several correct answers. Anderson Consulting says this conclusively disproves the theory that most professionals have the brains of a four-year-old.


Last night, I was subjected to kid logic.

When we want kids to do chores, we're expected to pay them an allowance - right? Okay, so I don't have kids, but I used to be one. If I wanted my weekly money, I had to fulfill my list of duties. It wasn't a free ride, but I did get paid to clean up my room, make my bed, feed the dog...

Of course, as an adult, you don't get paid for such things. Unless you count the lack of spousal nagging as payment.

But I figured that since we pay kids to get them to do what we want them to do, isn't it fair for kids to pay us to get to do what they want to do?

My nephew wants to play X-box when Aunt Sandra babysits. This would be the elder, money-grubbing math wizard, Athaniel.

So I told Athaniel we could work out a deal. If he wants to play X-box, he can pay me by the hour.

He called me cheap.

Which, you know, really isn't how I would describe it. Very reasonable and business-like of me. A sensible proposition.

Then my niece leans over and whispers in my ear, "You know he's going to try to get away with everything when you're over." To which I said, "And you're not?"

Kids. See, this is why I have dogs. You can put them in the basement with a bone and close the door, and nobody says you're being cruel.

The real problem is, it's impossible to outsmart a kid's logic. Because the illogical is logical to them.

Like when Uncle Kevin says, "No I didn't, INFINITY. And you can't argue with infinity because it's infinity."

Athaniel used to cry when Uncle Kevin did that, because it was an impossible thing to argue.

Another reason I don't have kids. They might end up like Kevin...

Or worse yet: me.

19 comments:

Boy Kim said...

Pay kids to tidy their rooms, make their beds, and worst of all look after their own pets? Worse, we're expected to pay them?

No way.

Those things are all part of growing up and they expect us to pay them for the privilege of teaching them? Somebody got that particular contract the wrong way around.

The Princesses do as I ask them because they... well, because they just do. And I play with them when they ask because they are my 9- and 11-yo daughters and it won't be long before they won't be asking me anymore.

(If I got completely the wrong end of this post, I apologise. And feel free to delete my comments.)

Vincent said...

You've obviously never come across the infinity plus one logic. And what kind of name is Athaniel? Okay, it may be common over in Canada, but over here it sounds like his parents were coming up with names from Alpha-Betty Spaghetti and found themselves short of N's.

Christa M. Miller said...

Hey, at least if they end up like you or Kevin, you'll understand them. My worst fear is having a child who is NOTHING like me. Read: a girly girl. Who likes shopping. And clothes. And makeup. *shudders in fear*

Sandra Ruttan said...

So, does no comment on the quiz mean you didn't do well?

I think the idea behind allowance is that kids learn about a work ethic - you work, you get paid. You don't work, you don't get paid.

It's an imperfect system, but I wasn't minding so much when I thought I could get some money out of my flush 7-year-old nephew.

Yup - I'm turning into one of those adults - the kind that would try to outsmart a child for entertainment.

Problem is, I really can't outsmart Athaniel often. And when I do, he cries. What's there to feel good about in that? Routinely bested by a 7-year-old...

Sandra Ruttan said...

Vincent: Athaniel is not a common name.

My niece is Arriel (pronounced R-E-L not aerial) and my other nephew?

Dashiell.

Christa, yeah, a girly-girl would be a hard call for me. I can just imagine me trying to deal with a little girl crying because she broke a nail. There's Mommy going, "Geez, get over it, it's just a flipping nail. And get that damn dress off and wear some jeans, for crying out loud!"

Erik Ivan James said...

I forgot to get any of the answers correct because I forgot the previous answer as I read the next question as I forgot the previous question.

Boy Kim said...

No, no comment on the quiz meant that I forgot.

I got 3/4.

I don't disagree with work=pay, nowork=nopay, but it can also breed mercinary, ungrateful children. If I asked one of mine to tidy their room and they asked "how much?", they'd find themselves in a discussion about (i) how fortunate they were to have a home in the first place and (ii) until they can contribute financially to the upkeep of that home they contribute in other ways.

Oh and being outsmarted by my kids is what makes it all worthwhile, cos I know then they've listened to at least some of the stuff I tell them.

JamesO said...

"You can put them in the basement with a bone and close the door, and nobody says you're being cruel."

Except the bone.

Weren't Andersons the ones who said Enron's accounts were hunky-dory?

Boy Kim said...

... and better to tell your daughter to "get that damn dress off and wear some jeans" than your son.

Trace said...

Everyone is always shocked when I come in wearing a skirt. It's very, very rare.

Boy Kim said...

Same here for me.

Bernita said...

Never paid my kids to do chores.
Certain responsibilities were expected as part of the shared family effort.

Boy Kim said...

It's just gone 1am here and I just want to say...

ARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! I can't sleep!!!!!!!!

Bonnie Calhoun said...

We weren't paid to clean our rooms, but there was hell to pay when we didn't...LOL

I knew all the answers to the quiz...LOL..I had that one saved in Word, to post!

Dana Y. T. Lin said...

Blogger HATES me. I wrote something very witty a few hours ago and now it's not here and I can't remember what it was.

Argh.

*pulls hair out*

Vincent said...

I'd seen that quiz before too and remembered all the answers, but got none right first time round.

I also had a spate of Blogger losing entries before I'd finished writing them. Infuriating.

Boy Kim said...

Well, I eventually got to sleep some time around 3am. Counting sheep didn't help - all the little blighters wanted to do was get amorous.

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