Wednesday, March 22, 2006

The Bloody Australians Are Going To Hell

Just yesterday, someone somewhere was musing over the lost innocence of the good ol' days of crime fiction, when an author could write a book without using a swear word.

Sigh. Yeah, I really miss that myself. (Like I remember.)

But it was the perfect day to get this link from a friend. (I see the links aren't registering - here's the url:

"Hell's bells. Just as British censors clear Australia's colourful tourism campaign, Canadian officials have banned it, but not because of the word "bloody".

The Canadian Broadcasting Corporation has refused to run the "Where The Bloody Hell Are You" ad during family television programming because of the word "hell", Toronto's Globe and Mail newspaper reports."

Yes, the Australians are now officially annoyed with Canada, the latest Commonwealth country to give the Australian tourist board a little slap on the, er, backside and wag of the finger in the face for using naughty words in their advert.

Specifically, hell.

Now, for my part, I have read this all with complete fascination. And because seeing is truly believing, I went to this link so that I could watch the offensive commercial for myself.

My verdict?

Bloody CBC.

Look, you know, the CBC is one of those national, government-funded media outlets that has their own set of bizarre hoops to jump through, their own political allegiances, their own slant on things.

In fact, I could tell a little story about a guy who works for the CBC. A complete expert on handguns. Has one of the most impressive collections I've ever seen - guns now banned that he's been grandfathered in on for licenses.

But due to his job at the CBC, he doesn't want anyone to know about his collection. It could get him into trouble.

So, you know, I have to tell the Australians: Don't fret too much. Nobody watches the CBC anyway.

The advert would be best put on Fox, on NBC, on CTV, on Global. Channels that actually show programs that a lot of people watch.

Meanwhile, we'd like to keep our image of being polite, proper, shy, respectful Canadians, thank you very much. Why, this side of the 49th we positively blush at the mere mention of sex, which is why we're trying to grow the population through immigration.

And bad words, like...hell? Men will gasp, women will faint.

Because we've never heard words like that before.

I mean, we still believe North is Up and that our geography puts us one step closer to heaven than the rest of you are, don't you know?

So, what does Sandra really think of the ban? Unfuckingbelievable.
Hell's bells indeed.

Only in Canada.

I'm shocked we're allowed to use that four-letter word on a sign. I mean, really! How offensive. Kids might see it. We're contaminating young minds.


Bernita said...

It's not for nothing you know, Sandra, that the CBC is called the Canadian Broadcorping Castration..."

Sandra Ruttan said...

LOL Bernita!

Well, at least they're maintaining their image!

Boy Kim said...

The add was banned here in the UK too, not because of "hell" but because of "bloody", although the ban has been lifted now.


Boy Kim said...

Ah. Now that I've read your post again, I see that you already mentioned that.

My apologies. My mind's elsewhere right now.

Sandra Ruttan said...

Oh really Boy Kim? And where would that be? Hmmmm?

Boy Kim said...

It's busy trying to work out a way to get two people together who are suddenly never in the same place at the same time. Ever.

It's like they've become mutually exclusive. And it's driving me FCUKING NUTS!!!!

Sandra Ruttan said...

Sweetie, it's easy. Arrange for both of you to be kidnapped.

And in case you didn't figure it out, it's okay to say fuck on my blog.

Boy Kim said...


Daniel Hatadi said...

It's been a strangely controversial campaign for such a timid advertisement. The girl that actually says the 'evil' words is completely non-threatening. And kinda cute. The controversy has been nothing but good publicity.

The only thing we're really worried about is more dirty poms and Canadians coming here. ;)

Sandra Ruttan said...

Seriously Daniel,

I agree that it's completely non-threatening, and it's also completely ridiculous.

But controversy is good publicity. And the ad hasn't quenched my desire to travel to Australia in the slightest.

Kate said...

The latest news is the Canadians don't like beer featuring either.

"Under Canada's restrictions on alcohol advertising, ads cannot feature anyone enjoying alcohol. Full glasses are fine, but a half-empty glass apparently shows people drink the stuff."

Australians have been known to drink beer. Shocking, but true. That's why for years we've had ads saying, "If you drink and drive, you're a bloody idiot."

Sandra Ruttan said...

Well, I still don't see the problem.

Nobody seriously calls that watered-down crap they were serving in the ad "beer" do they?

Now that my Aussie regulars have posted, I think I'm safe...