The Bloody Australians Are Going To Hell

Just yesterday, someone somewhere was musing over the lost innocence of the good ol' days of crime fiction, when an author could write a book without using a swear word.

Sigh. Yeah, I really miss that myself. (Like I remember.)

But it was the perfect day to get this link from a friend. (I see the links aren't registering - here's the url: http://www.theage.com.au/articles/2006/03/22/1142703391300.html)

"Hell's bells. Just as British censors clear Australia's colourful tourism campaign, Canadian officials have banned it, but not because of the word "bloody".

The Canadian Broadcasting Corporation has refused to run the "Where The Bloody Hell Are You" ad during family television programming because of the word "hell", Toronto's Globe and Mail newspaper reports."

Yes, the Australians are now officially annoyed with Canada, the latest Commonwealth country to give the Australian tourist board a little slap on the, er, backside and wag of the finger in the face for using naughty words in their advert.

Specifically, hell.

Now, for my part, I have read this all with complete fascination. And because seeing is truly believing, I went to this link so that I could watch the offensive commercial for myself.
(http://www.australia.com/home_uk.aust?JSESSIONID=GgkdHK2w%21838046055%
211142990045656&country=GB&enter=enterEnhanced&L=en&C=GB)

My verdict?

Bloody CBC.

Look, you know, the CBC is one of those national, government-funded media outlets that has their own set of bizarre hoops to jump through, their own political allegiances, their own slant on things.

In fact, I could tell a little story about a guy who works for the CBC. A complete expert on handguns. Has one of the most impressive collections I've ever seen - guns now banned that he's been grandfathered in on for licenses.

But due to his job at the CBC, he doesn't want anyone to know about his collection. It could get him into trouble.

So, you know, I have to tell the Australians: Don't fret too much. Nobody watches the CBC anyway.

The advert would be best put on Fox, on NBC, on CTV, on Global. Channels that actually show programs that a lot of people watch.

Meanwhile, we'd like to keep our image of being polite, proper, shy, respectful Canadians, thank you very much. Why, this side of the 49th we positively blush at the mere mention of sex, which is why we're trying to grow the population through immigration.

And bad words, like...hell? Men will gasp, women will faint.

Because we've never heard words like that before.

I mean, we still believe North is Up and that our geography puts us one step closer to heaven than the rest of you are, don't you know?

So, what does Sandra really think of the ban? Unfuckingbelievable.
Hell's bells indeed.

Only in Canada.






I'm shocked we're allowed to use that four-letter word on a sign. I mean, really! How offensive. Kids might see it. We're contaminating young minds.