You Can Lead a Whore to Culture, But You Can't Make Her Think

Santa Gets a Head

To make a long, boring story short and hopefully not as effective as a sleeping pill, I was looking up phrases and found this one:

"You Can Lead A Whore To Culture, But You Can't Make Her Think"

Now, that's a line that's likely fallen out of favour in our pc times. I'd certainly never heard it myself. But I can think of several people it fits perfectly. Not like you can just throw that one out there when the whore says, "Well I don't know why, but that's just what I think, so there!" at the next family dinner. Uh, did I say family? I meant gathering of very distant acquaintances. Yep, that's it.

It's one of my little pet peeves. People who are so narrow-minded you couldn't navigate a piece of thread through their ears.

Which brings me to the slaying Santa. Chopping off barbie doll heads and hanging them on tree branches sounds a bit more like the product of a hyper five-year-old boy getting into mischief around Halloween, not some Manhatten mansion-owning couple's idea of a statement about Christmas commercialism.

And then comes the kicker. In an interview, the guy says, "Christmas has religious origins,” he said. “It’s in the Bible. Santa is not in the Bible. He’s not a religious symbol."

Hello whore of the day. Forget to take your history classes did we? Or maybe you haven't actually read the good book you're supposedly making a statement on behalf of. I have news for you: Christmas IS NOT in the Bible!

Pagan Christmas Practices

Christmas, like Easter, originated as a Roman holiday dedicated to pagan gods with various practices that pre-dated the acceptance of Christianity. First Constantine converted, then the old pagan practices were converted into 'Christian' celebrations.

Why else do you think we have a fluffy bunny running around giving kids chocolate eggs when we're supposed to be thinking about Jesus suffering on the cross?

Christian Constantine

You know, it isn't the sentiment these people are expressing that bothers me. Christmas has become so commercial. I mean, check this out:

Ch-Ching

Damn, that's more than I spend on my mortgage each month!

The problem I have with the Krupnik's of the world is that by being misinformed, they make everyone who thinks that we should re-examine our priorities at this time of year and focus more on family than on gifts seem like religious nutjobs. You catch more flies with beer and honey than you do with crap, folks, and you leave a better impression on your neighbours.

So, maybe instead of desecrating Santa and Barbie you could invest your time and money in spreading peace and good cheer. You know, support a food bank. Help the homeless. Stuff some money in the Salvation Army collection plate. You know, actually do some good and show the world how you want it to be instead of creating a scandal that gets your name in the papers.

Seems to me that this is just about these people trying to draw attention to themselves. I'm surprised they didn't start ranting about how the name Santa is just an anagram of satan...

I wonder how these people would feel if next Easter, the people next door put up a 5-foot bunny carrying a basket of Mary heads with fake blood dripping from her eyes.