Listening to an album that transports you through space and time to another place, the nostalgia of youth… Talking to an old friend and feeling as though years haven’t passed at all, you’ve just picked right up where you left off. The smell in the air that reminds you so keenly of a day twenty-some-odd years ago when you had your first kiss…
The way your heart catches in your throat when you learn that after 40 years, Mr. Dressup is going off the air forever. My childhood with the tickle trunk, Casey and Finnegan is gone.
Yes, nostalgic, that’s me. It all started with the Canadian issue of Spinetingler. Martha Reed sent me the draft of the article she’s writing.
An American? Writing in the Canadian Issue? Yes. Martha’s writing about the inspiration of Muskoka, where she has spent her vacations since childhood.
I grew up in Gravenhurst, the Gateway to Muskoka. It’s been over 11 years since I’ve been back, but Martha’s article, on why she likes to write in Canada’s cottage playground, had me choking on a pretty big lump in my throat.
Did you know I grew up with an endless backyard, that flowed into a forest, complete with rock cuts, and eventually led to the gravel pit, but you could take trails in three directions, one of which eventually led past the woods at Camp Shalom. Go look at that link and tell me you don’t want to be there, right now? In The Muskoka Lake District…
And I grew up not a fifteen minute walk from the shores of Lake Muskoka, every day in the summer on the beach, watching RMS Segwun - the oldest operating steamship in North America – go by on her runs.
This is one of those things you can’t separate out in your mind. Parts of your childhood might not be stuff you want to think about, but interwoven with the not-so-great is the wonderful. I can close my eyes and I am sitting on the rocks at the cliffs, staring down into the water…
Martha’s article has been part of the wave of nostalgia. I got some new CDs this weekend. I bet you all know what I mean when I say that it’s so incredible to get a new CD by an artist you’ve enjoyed in the past – no, haven’t heard a single song on this CD either, just a faith purchase – and I’m there. The music speaks to me. I feel like I’ve caught up with old friends.
And, then, there were the edits on Suspicious Circumstances.
It isn’t even quite two years to the day that I quit my job and started writing SC. Kevin told me that if I didn’t try, I’d never know if I could make it as an author. So, financially tapped, with a new house to pay the mortgage on, we decided what we could live without and I quit the day job.
And wrote.
I told someone recently I kept writing those characters at first because I was afraid if I stopped I’d lose them. Silly me.
It’s been a long time since I’ve stepped into Lara Kelly and Tymen Farraday’s world. But it feels like catching up with old friends.
It’s no different than how I feel about Muskoka. Close my eyes and I am there, living this story with them.
There have been a lot of things to groan over. Beginner’s mistakes, silly things I did with this manuscript that make me laugh now. Oh, I wish nobody had read it before I’d had a chance to go over it again, but truthfully, I’m thankful for the feedback I got because it’s helped me in this process. And if you have the pre-edit version, put it down now, step away…
People have asked how it’s going, and I have to say well. I did the first rewrite. My good friend JT Ellison read over the new revised draft and has provided some comments on it. Now, I’m in the final stages, going back over it again, to address the things I knew might be problems, and what she pointed out – thankfully, a short list.
Then, the manuscript will go back to my editor. Hopefully, after she looks at it, she won’t have a stroke.
Because it’s sitting, um, considerably shorter than the version she saw. About 16,000 words shorter. I’m afraid to say too much, in case she reads this…
But it’s better. More punch, less dithering. More action, less thinking.
Whole characters are gone. A few relationship developments that may – or may not – make some people happy.
Right now, the most important thing to me is that I feel very positive about the book. I’m happier with everything.
And I’m starting to get some ideas about the next book in the series, which is cool. Because book 3 in the Canadian series has been screaming in my ears so loudly that it’s pissing me off, because I won’t have time to write it for a few months, at least.
Jack and Carly will have to wait. Lara and Farraday are demanding that I pay some attention to them, and it feels pretty good to know that the sizzle is still there. I always wanted to develop this into a series, and for a while, I wondered if that would happen.
Later today when I send the revisions, I hope my editor feels like she’s been handed a diamond instead of getting a cubic zirconia back.
So, am I alone in the nostalgia of returning to a project, to characters, with a bit of fear and trepidation, only to find out it’s like catching up with old friends? Or am I just weird?
Now, on a not-so-nice tangent, I received this message 5 times on the same blog post:
Hi, i was looking over your blog and didn't quite find what I was looking for. I'm looking for different ways to earn money... I did find this though... a place where you can make some nice extra cash secret shopping. Just go to the site below and put in your zip to see what's available in your area. I made over $900 last month having fun! make extra money
With a link to paidsurveysonline.com.
If you have 5 free minutes email them at support@surveyshelpdesk.com and tell them they’re vultures. Tell them they’re the lowest form of life and will never have an ounce of business credibility as long as they spam people. Create a hotmail account just for this occasion. I felt better for at least 30 seconds.
Maybe if they get reams of hate mail, they really will grab a fucking clue and leave us alone. I’m tempted to turn on the verification, because I really really hate the spam. But I also hate verification because half the time, I can’t read the friggin’ letters and have to retry.
I hate spammers. Rotting in hell is too good for them.
Forrest sent some funnies
Blondes and Brunettes
Two bowling teams, one of all Blondes and one of all Brunettes, charter a double-decker bus for a weekend gambling trip to Louisiana.
The Brunette team rode on the bottom of the bus, and the Blonde team rode on the top level.
The Brunette team down below really whooped it up, having a great time, when one of them realized she hadn't heard anything from the Blondes upstairs.
She decided to go up and investigate.
When the Brunette reached the top, she found all the Blondes in fear, staring straight ahead at the road, clutching the seats in front of them with white knuckles.
The brunette asked, "What the heck's going on up here? We're having a great time downstairs!"
One of the Blondes looked up at her, swallowed hard and whispered... YEAH, BUT YOU'VE GOT A DRIVER!
A Pearl Necklace
A young woman was taking an afternoon nap on her birthday.
After she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for my birthday. What do you think it means?"
"You'll know tonight." he said.
That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it--only to find a book entitled:
"The meaning of dreams."
Married
A man is incomplete until he is married.....
....Then he is finished.
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
I’ll match your blanket party and raise you a shiv in the gut
How will you keep your book/series/script from waning, becoming stale, boring, predictable?
I asked author Sharon Wildwind what she does when she doesn’t know where to go with her stories. She said she thinks, “What’s the worst thing that could happen now?” and then makes it happen.
It’s a good prompt. A lot of books suffer from slow middle syndrome. Sometimes a slow beginning. I’ve always liked the idea of building a slow, steady fire that’s raging by the end, but unfortunately, readers need to be given a compelling reason to stay with you right from page 1. You’ve got to grab their attention.
Hence the tendency in mysteries to drop a body on page 1, and then end up with backstory and waffling a few chapters in.
My good friend, Marsha, whom I will be traveling with in the UK next month, used to work in television. She knows a fair bit about script writing. These days, she works for a publisher in New York City, but she told me something about script writing that’s always stayed with me: you need to hit them on the nose. That’s how you keep the interest of the audience. Make them feel like you just stepped forward and smacked their nose – you’ve grabbed their attention. Now hold it.
I believe one of the best ways you can learn how to do this in books is to read. You’ll learn from those who do it well, and those who don’t. You’ll get new ideas about how to approach things with your stories.
But you can also learn from watching television. Not so much one-hour shows that wrap it all up with a nice, neat bow at the end. But a show that has a season-long story arc is a great model for writers to learn from.
And this season, I have to say the best thing on television is The Shield.
Now, as much as I’ve enjoyed it season to season, I felt that season 2 lagged behind season 1 a bit, season 3 was better, season 4 kicked it up another notch.
But season 5? Holy fucking shit.
We’ve seen 11 of the 12 episodes now, and every week, just when I think I have an idea of where the story is going to go, the writers reach out and smack me on the nose.
They’ve really ratcheted it up, taken it to a whole new level. And I’m astounded by the creativity.
To be honest with you, it bugs me. I’m seeing all these loose threads from previous seasons, coming in, being used to twist things. I mean, wow. Did the writers have any idea at the end of season 2 that they could use something from that in season 5 so effectively?
I’m always amazed at the foresight of other writers. Good writers don’t let things slip – they pick up those threads, sooner or later, and use them to make a character’s life unravel just when you least expect it.
Kevin’s reading A Good Day To Die at the moment. Last night, he told me where he was in the book, and he said, “This guy can do action, and when stuff is happening, a lot of stuff is happening.” And I think that’s part of the secret to keeping the reader on edge, breathless. I remember that feeling when I read A Good Day To Die as well.
I also see that it’s a skill, a trade-off. One of the things you have to remember as a new writer is not to discard all the things about your style in exchange for mimicking someone else’s. I like character-driven stories. I like some introspection. I want to spend time in a character’s head.
I want to feel I’ve gotten to know them.
But I also like feeling like I’m sitting on the edge of my seat, compelled to read on, because the story is so good.
One of the things that The Shield has in common with Kernick’s character from A Good Day To Die is the emotional conflict I endure. These are not your straight-up cookie-cutter characters that are good or bad – they are a hundred thousand shades of grey. How do you find yourself cheering for a killer?
I’ve had a difficult relationship with The Shield’s Vic Mackey over the years. I doubt I’m giving anything away now, five seasons in, if I say that episode one, he puts a bullet in the face of a guy on his own team and the cop dies. The cop that was working to bring Vic – a dirty cop – down.
And then other detectives get a guy in custody who bought a little girl for sex and he won’t give up where she is. They’re running out of time. They can’t get him to talk.
But Vic can get him to talk. In the kind of back room way a ruthless cop can.
I felt physically sick at the end of that episode. The guy was a killer and a hero. Oh, he was wrong wrong wrong, as bad as they get, but when he beat that pedophile, I could understand that. Some guy buys a little girl for sex… I can understand the desire to make that guy feel pain. He got off easy.
There isn’t much time in my life for television. And shows like The Shield have a half-season run of only 12 or 13 episodes. Which means that you don’t even have the September to May timeline to follow the characters. 8 or 9 months will pass before new episodes are on the air after this Sunday’s final.
So these characters have to be amazing to keep me coming back year after year. The story has to be phenomenal.
That’s why I’d suggest that if you’re thinking about writing, if you’re thinking about how to continuously raise the stakes in the story, you consider watching season 1. Rent the DVDs. I’d say season 5, but I don’t know if you’d appreciate it as much if you hadn’t seen all the seasons before, and the DVDs aren’t out yet.
Even just watch season 1, episodes 1,12 and 13.
And bear in mind that action isn’t everything. We have to care about the characters. Otherwise, what difference does it make to us if they keep getting beaten up or threatened?
But if you can create characters people connect with and you can keep the storyline humming with tension, then you’ll have an unputdownable read.
And that’s the kind of book that gets people talking.
So, share. Your unputdownable reads? And your tricks for ratcheting up the tension in your stories?
My mother sent Kevin’s birthday presents. Amongst the selection, two knives. Sharp, cutty things with little holders so he could clip them on a belt.
Clearly, she hasn’t read Predator. And I must say, Sunday the story, Monday the knives… Wonder what today will throw at me? Just hope it isn't one of the knives.
I asked author Sharon Wildwind what she does when she doesn’t know where to go with her stories. She said she thinks, “What’s the worst thing that could happen now?” and then makes it happen.
It’s a good prompt. A lot of books suffer from slow middle syndrome. Sometimes a slow beginning. I’ve always liked the idea of building a slow, steady fire that’s raging by the end, but unfortunately, readers need to be given a compelling reason to stay with you right from page 1. You’ve got to grab their attention.
Hence the tendency in mysteries to drop a body on page 1, and then end up with backstory and waffling a few chapters in.
My good friend, Marsha, whom I will be traveling with in the UK next month, used to work in television. She knows a fair bit about script writing. These days, she works for a publisher in New York City, but she told me something about script writing that’s always stayed with me: you need to hit them on the nose. That’s how you keep the interest of the audience. Make them feel like you just stepped forward and smacked their nose – you’ve grabbed their attention. Now hold it.
I believe one of the best ways you can learn how to do this in books is to read. You’ll learn from those who do it well, and those who don’t. You’ll get new ideas about how to approach things with your stories.
But you can also learn from watching television. Not so much one-hour shows that wrap it all up with a nice, neat bow at the end. But a show that has a season-long story arc is a great model for writers to learn from.
And this season, I have to say the best thing on television is The Shield.
Now, as much as I’ve enjoyed it season to season, I felt that season 2 lagged behind season 1 a bit, season 3 was better, season 4 kicked it up another notch.
But season 5? Holy fucking shit.
We’ve seen 11 of the 12 episodes now, and every week, just when I think I have an idea of where the story is going to go, the writers reach out and smack me on the nose.
They’ve really ratcheted it up, taken it to a whole new level. And I’m astounded by the creativity.
To be honest with you, it bugs me. I’m seeing all these loose threads from previous seasons, coming in, being used to twist things. I mean, wow. Did the writers have any idea at the end of season 2 that they could use something from that in season 5 so effectively?
I’m always amazed at the foresight of other writers. Good writers don’t let things slip – they pick up those threads, sooner or later, and use them to make a character’s life unravel just when you least expect it.
Kevin’s reading A Good Day To Die at the moment. Last night, he told me where he was in the book, and he said, “This guy can do action, and when stuff is happening, a lot of stuff is happening.” And I think that’s part of the secret to keeping the reader on edge, breathless. I remember that feeling when I read A Good Day To Die as well.
I also see that it’s a skill, a trade-off. One of the things you have to remember as a new writer is not to discard all the things about your style in exchange for mimicking someone else’s. I like character-driven stories. I like some introspection. I want to spend time in a character’s head.
I want to feel I’ve gotten to know them.
But I also like feeling like I’m sitting on the edge of my seat, compelled to read on, because the story is so good.
One of the things that The Shield has in common with Kernick’s character from A Good Day To Die is the emotional conflict I endure. These are not your straight-up cookie-cutter characters that are good or bad – they are a hundred thousand shades of grey. How do you find yourself cheering for a killer?
I’ve had a difficult relationship with The Shield’s Vic Mackey over the years. I doubt I’m giving anything away now, five seasons in, if I say that episode one, he puts a bullet in the face of a guy on his own team and the cop dies. The cop that was working to bring Vic – a dirty cop – down.
And then other detectives get a guy in custody who bought a little girl for sex and he won’t give up where she is. They’re running out of time. They can’t get him to talk.
But Vic can get him to talk. In the kind of back room way a ruthless cop can.
I felt physically sick at the end of that episode. The guy was a killer and a hero. Oh, he was wrong wrong wrong, as bad as they get, but when he beat that pedophile, I could understand that. Some guy buys a little girl for sex… I can understand the desire to make that guy feel pain. He got off easy.
There isn’t much time in my life for television. And shows like The Shield have a half-season run of only 12 or 13 episodes. Which means that you don’t even have the September to May timeline to follow the characters. 8 or 9 months will pass before new episodes are on the air after this Sunday’s final.
So these characters have to be amazing to keep me coming back year after year. The story has to be phenomenal.
That’s why I’d suggest that if you’re thinking about writing, if you’re thinking about how to continuously raise the stakes in the story, you consider watching season 1. Rent the DVDs. I’d say season 5, but I don’t know if you’d appreciate it as much if you hadn’t seen all the seasons before, and the DVDs aren’t out yet.
Even just watch season 1, episodes 1,12 and 13.
And bear in mind that action isn’t everything. We have to care about the characters. Otherwise, what difference does it make to us if they keep getting beaten up or threatened?
But if you can create characters people connect with and you can keep the storyline humming with tension, then you’ll have an unputdownable read.
And that’s the kind of book that gets people talking.
So, share. Your unputdownable reads? And your tricks for ratcheting up the tension in your stories?
My mother sent Kevin’s birthday presents. Amongst the selection, two knives. Sharp, cutty things with little holders so he could clip them on a belt.
Clearly, she hasn’t read Predator. And I must say, Sunday the story, Monday the knives… Wonder what today will throw at me? Just hope it isn't one of the knives.
Monday, June 12, 2006
If You Can’t Annoy Someone, It Does Take a Bit of the Zest Out of life*
No wonder debut authors get frustrated. No blurbs, sometimes no reviews, until they make friends with everyone and say all the magic words.
Should new authors play the two-faced game until enough people have endorsed them so that they can stand on their own, and then let the real them come out?
It isn’t like I deliberately start by planning to piss someone off. I end up knowing I’ve done it, in some cases. Like with Mark Billingham. Don’t ask. He’s too nice admit it, probably, but I’d bet money that he spent at least a month last fall thinking I was some freaky stalker-chick.
I digress. Thing is, I’m a bit enthusiastic. Always have been. One of those hot or cold, all or nothing people. Some say obsessive. And it can rub people the wrong way, without me even realizing it.
One thing that does really annoy me is when people jump to judgments without ever talking to me. I’m not talking about casual conclusions, as in, “Read her blog, wasn’t for me.” Cool, I’m good with that. I’m talking about dislike on a level that they feel the need to email people or have conversations about me behind my back with the door already slammed shut – “want nothing to do with you”. And I don’t even know them. I may have met some people online I’d like to meet more than others, but beyond that, there are only a few people I’ve “met” online in the past year I’m really leery about meeting.
Because I’m sure they hate me. Because things said have a way of coming back to you, and it doesn’t seem to matter if you do your taking in another country anymore…
That isn’t even what’s important here. This is about new writers, and the very steep hill they have ahead of them. The journey to a half-decent book launch is no longer climbing Mt. Baker – it’s scaling Mt. Everest, and you’re using second-hand gear that’s outdated while you’re at it, plus you’ve got bronchitis.
At least, that’s how it feels. You’re damn lucky to even do a tour, never mind have a better-known author endorse you. And then you find out so-and-so in Nowhere won’t stock your book because they don’t know you… What’s a new author to do?
Where’s this coming from? Well, I’ve seen this numerous times, from a number of authors. The “I don’t do blurbs” statement. And I’m not talking about a response to a request from me. I’m talking about being quoted in an interview saying, “I don’t do blurbs.”
I could barely muster the courage to ask a few people to look at my book. It was enough to make me sick, I was so nervous about it.
One of them did say no. No big deal. Still love the author’s work, still a big fan. A few said yes and haven’t had time to read the book for a variety of reasons, and with what’s been going on with them, I feel guilty for asking. A few said they wanted to wait until I’d done revisions. So, no blurb. It’s totally okay. If someone had said they didn’t want to blurb the book because they didn’t like it, I’d understand that, too. Nobody has yet, but still. What I handed them months ago is a substantially lesser book to what it is now, with the rewrite done. (Just a bit more tweaking and it’s off to you, my dear editor!)
There’s been a big discussion recently that I’ve been part of, about authors promoting other authors.
I always took the view before, with Spinetingler, that I could promote the books I liked because I didn’t typically plan reviews. I’d buy the books I was interested in reading, read them, like them, then Kevin would bug me to write a review. Even with interviews, I picked people I was interested in talking to, because I enjoyed their work.
So, it was luxury. I never had to review anything. Didn’t put deadlines on myself. Didn’t care if the author was a first-class jerk or the sweetest person on earth.
It’s just a bonus that some of the authors I’ve reviewed books by, like Stuart MacBride, Simon Kernick and Mark Billingham are great guys.
And, of course, I adore Cornelia Read. Smart, incredible writer, funny as hell. Who wouldn’t?
It’s actually Cornelia that started this whole chain of thought, in a way. She’s one of the people I’d been paying attention to on blogs for a while. I’d see her comments. Thought she was a smart person, the kind of person I looked forward to reading opinions from.
So, I went to check out her website.
Blurb heaven.
Now, this was last year, several months before the release of her book, and she had people like Lee Child and Ken Bruen singing her praises.
I was intrigued, and I approached her about an interview. Now, lucky me, I got an ARC of her book and was able to form my own opinion before I interviewed her.
But those blurbs contributed to my decision to roll the dice on interviewing a brand-new author. Did those blurbs matter? Did they sell a book? Yes. For me, they did.
It’s discouraging to me when I see established authors taking the “I don’t do blurbs” stand. First, as a reader, I pay attention. Particularly if it’s an author that’s new to me, I go by author referrals. That’s been the cornerstone of my reading system for the past few years.
And in the past two years I’ve had three books I’ve been not overly enthused about. Not one of them I bought using that system, either. All from external referrals from people or a selection for a reading group.
Beyond that, 100% satisfaction. So the referral system has really worked for me.
Second, I can’t help wondering if some have forgotten how much blurbs and reviews meant to them when they started out their career. I bet every writer has someone they felt a lot of appreciation for, an idol of sorts, someone who found the positives in their early stuff and gave them some encouragement and endorsement. So, while I understand the increasing time-crunch that goes with being asked to blurb, the “no blurb” stand, or worse, the “I only blurb my friends” stand, frustrate me as a reader. It means that person’s referrals for books carries less weight. I don’t know if they’re blurbing a book they think is actually good, or just blurbing it because the person’s a friend. I mean, when “friend” is part of the criteria, blurbing the best books out there doesn’t seem to be part of the equation.
I’ve noticed this. There are some authors who routinely blurb each other. Book after book, there’s a comment outside or inside. I saw two authors do an exchange once, they each reviewed the other’s book. There were actually people who felt the move was so staged and tasteless, I got emails from people complaining about it, although I had nothing to do with it and didn’t publish the reviews – I get drawn into weird stuff sometimes. Interesting to read the opinions on it, though.
For me, authors don’t need to know me or ever meet me for me to do backflips and praise them to the stars. Not that my opinion matters much, but if I like a book, I’ll rave about it. End of story. If I love anything I’ll rave about it.
Now, I get sent review copies, and I have to read on deadlines sometimes. And this is where you put the personal aside and act like a professional – it matters not if I like the author. It’s about assessing their book, not whether or not they’re someone I’d care to go bowling with.
Many people have a hard time with that. And I don’t get it. Sure, you might look forward to releases by friends who’ve satisfied the reader in you in the past. I mean, my friends who write kick-ass books, I can’t wait for more.
But at the exclusion of those I don’t know? You aren’t my friend, so I won’t read you or consider reviewing you? Well, not with me. I’ve been asked to take review copies of a number of books recently, and some of them I really want to read from the description. But they’re on hold – I don’t waste an author’s money if I know I don’t have time to read the book. That’s just not fair, to me. It’s just down to having enough time to read now, and I’ll be taking those review copies!
It’s no wonder new writers get frustrated. You’ve got to hope people will like you in order to get a break. And, I mean, people aren’t all going to like you. Some people aren’t even going to give you a chance.
I know some people who don’t like other people. Cool. Does it affect my opinion? Usually, not at all, unless I already have an issue with the person. Seriously. We won’t all get along. My opinions of people are based on how they deal with me. I might see a pattern of behaviour between said person and others that makes me cautious, but I give everyone a chance. Kevin always tells me I shut my eyes to the warning signs, but I can’t help it.
I think everyone deserves a chance. And I’ve spent enough of my life wasted around people who were judgmental and petty. I don’t want to be that person anymore. Oh, I’m opinionated, but I’m far more open-minded today than ever before. Three years ago I wouldn’t have watched The Shield or The Wire. It’s been less than two years since I saw my first Wire episode. And there was some content I had a hard time with, but the writing and the acting, and being a hopeless David Simon fan, kept me watching long enough to get hooked. I’ve loved Baltimore for years, thanks to David Simon.
This is a big difference between me and a lot of other people, right here. I’d rather you just tell me you don’t like me and don’t want to hear from me ever again than get the not-so-polite brush-off. I got an email over the weekend that read to me like a complete, “have a nice life” message. I hate that. Did my mood affect how I interpreted the email, or was that what they were really saying? And if I don’t write back, do I end up getting yelled at because I ‘ditched’ the person?
It also drives me nuts if people are all nice to me, praise me to the stars, then submit a story to Spinetingler and, as soon as it’s published or rejected, I never hear from them again. If I “know” you, I don’t read your story anyway. Do yourself a favour, don’t waste your time.
I’d rather someone tell me they don’t like me and never want to hear from me. At least be straight about it. And save yourself the aggravation of future emails or (God forbid) meeting me at some book signing or conference.
But back to blurbs, I understand the frustration with requests– believe me. I’m already having a hard time keeping up with the email sometimes, but to me, it’s important to try. I never dreamed of writing God and asking him to read my manuscript – that’s me. But I think some authors are afraid of talking to aspiring authors, because they think they’ll be asked for favours. And in some cases, legitimately.
Maybe if I’d had the guts to get off my ass and ask everyone I knew, I’d have a list of blurbs to choose from. Maybe if I kept at them and kept asking… But, as much as some people think I’m far too “in your face” for their liking, I can’t do it.
I just can’t.
I was just genuinely thrilled for the few people who said they were willing to consider reading it, depending on their schedules.
Hasn’t worked out for most of them, but that’s cool. Looking at my desk, I understand. Completely.
Didn’t even consider asking Mark, and I actually have met him. Would a blurb on my book from him have sold a few copies?
I bet it would have.
Is it fair for me to expect him to do that? Absolutely not. Which is why I didn’t ask.
And some have asked about galley copies for doing reviews from, and I don't even know if any are being distributed. Sorry. There are a couple people who'll get a free book anyway, for all the help they gave me on editing stuff, but I doubt anyone will see a bound version before November. I think I've asked about as many people as I could muster the courage to already, and the ones who aren't done reading should stop now and burn it, seriously. But ask people to give up more time? I just can't do it.
What about you guys? Do you pay any attention to author referrals or blurbs? Or do they make no difference to you?
Happy Birthday EvilKev!
Yes, he’s a year older today. So, if you missed it yesterday, check out his story, Predator and then tell me I shouldn’t fear for my life!
Lonnie Cruse interviews JT Ellison
The interview is scheduled to be up on Lonnie’s blog today. Be sure to drop by, and also to congratulate Lonnie on her recent book deal!
And my friend, Stephen Blackmoore, has a great flash fiction piece up. Check it out!
* Quote – Kinsley Amis
Should new authors play the two-faced game until enough people have endorsed them so that they can stand on their own, and then let the real them come out?
It isn’t like I deliberately start by planning to piss someone off. I end up knowing I’ve done it, in some cases. Like with Mark Billingham. Don’t ask. He’s too nice admit it, probably, but I’d bet money that he spent at least a month last fall thinking I was some freaky stalker-chick.
I digress. Thing is, I’m a bit enthusiastic. Always have been. One of those hot or cold, all or nothing people. Some say obsessive. And it can rub people the wrong way, without me even realizing it.
One thing that does really annoy me is when people jump to judgments without ever talking to me. I’m not talking about casual conclusions, as in, “Read her blog, wasn’t for me.” Cool, I’m good with that. I’m talking about dislike on a level that they feel the need to email people or have conversations about me behind my back with the door already slammed shut – “want nothing to do with you”. And I don’t even know them. I may have met some people online I’d like to meet more than others, but beyond that, there are only a few people I’ve “met” online in the past year I’m really leery about meeting.
Because I’m sure they hate me. Because things said have a way of coming back to you, and it doesn’t seem to matter if you do your taking in another country anymore…
That isn’t even what’s important here. This is about new writers, and the very steep hill they have ahead of them. The journey to a half-decent book launch is no longer climbing Mt. Baker – it’s scaling Mt. Everest, and you’re using second-hand gear that’s outdated while you’re at it, plus you’ve got bronchitis.
At least, that’s how it feels. You’re damn lucky to even do a tour, never mind have a better-known author endorse you. And then you find out so-and-so in Nowhere won’t stock your book because they don’t know you… What’s a new author to do?
Where’s this coming from? Well, I’ve seen this numerous times, from a number of authors. The “I don’t do blurbs” statement. And I’m not talking about a response to a request from me. I’m talking about being quoted in an interview saying, “I don’t do blurbs.”
I could barely muster the courage to ask a few people to look at my book. It was enough to make me sick, I was so nervous about it.
One of them did say no. No big deal. Still love the author’s work, still a big fan. A few said yes and haven’t had time to read the book for a variety of reasons, and with what’s been going on with them, I feel guilty for asking. A few said they wanted to wait until I’d done revisions. So, no blurb. It’s totally okay. If someone had said they didn’t want to blurb the book because they didn’t like it, I’d understand that, too. Nobody has yet, but still. What I handed them months ago is a substantially lesser book to what it is now, with the rewrite done. (Just a bit more tweaking and it’s off to you, my dear editor!)
There’s been a big discussion recently that I’ve been part of, about authors promoting other authors.
I always took the view before, with Spinetingler, that I could promote the books I liked because I didn’t typically plan reviews. I’d buy the books I was interested in reading, read them, like them, then Kevin would bug me to write a review. Even with interviews, I picked people I was interested in talking to, because I enjoyed their work.
So, it was luxury. I never had to review anything. Didn’t put deadlines on myself. Didn’t care if the author was a first-class jerk or the sweetest person on earth.
It’s just a bonus that some of the authors I’ve reviewed books by, like Stuart MacBride, Simon Kernick and Mark Billingham are great guys.
And, of course, I adore Cornelia Read. Smart, incredible writer, funny as hell. Who wouldn’t?
It’s actually Cornelia that started this whole chain of thought, in a way. She’s one of the people I’d been paying attention to on blogs for a while. I’d see her comments. Thought she was a smart person, the kind of person I looked forward to reading opinions from.
So, I went to check out her website.
Blurb heaven.
Now, this was last year, several months before the release of her book, and she had people like Lee Child and Ken Bruen singing her praises.
I was intrigued, and I approached her about an interview. Now, lucky me, I got an ARC of her book and was able to form my own opinion before I interviewed her.
But those blurbs contributed to my decision to roll the dice on interviewing a brand-new author. Did those blurbs matter? Did they sell a book? Yes. For me, they did.
It’s discouraging to me when I see established authors taking the “I don’t do blurbs” stand. First, as a reader, I pay attention. Particularly if it’s an author that’s new to me, I go by author referrals. That’s been the cornerstone of my reading system for the past few years.
And in the past two years I’ve had three books I’ve been not overly enthused about. Not one of them I bought using that system, either. All from external referrals from people or a selection for a reading group.
Beyond that, 100% satisfaction. So the referral system has really worked for me.
Second, I can’t help wondering if some have forgotten how much blurbs and reviews meant to them when they started out their career. I bet every writer has someone they felt a lot of appreciation for, an idol of sorts, someone who found the positives in their early stuff and gave them some encouragement and endorsement. So, while I understand the increasing time-crunch that goes with being asked to blurb, the “no blurb” stand, or worse, the “I only blurb my friends” stand, frustrate me as a reader. It means that person’s referrals for books carries less weight. I don’t know if they’re blurbing a book they think is actually good, or just blurbing it because the person’s a friend. I mean, when “friend” is part of the criteria, blurbing the best books out there doesn’t seem to be part of the equation.
I’ve noticed this. There are some authors who routinely blurb each other. Book after book, there’s a comment outside or inside. I saw two authors do an exchange once, they each reviewed the other’s book. There were actually people who felt the move was so staged and tasteless, I got emails from people complaining about it, although I had nothing to do with it and didn’t publish the reviews – I get drawn into weird stuff sometimes. Interesting to read the opinions on it, though.
For me, authors don’t need to know me or ever meet me for me to do backflips and praise them to the stars. Not that my opinion matters much, but if I like a book, I’ll rave about it. End of story. If I love anything I’ll rave about it.
Now, I get sent review copies, and I have to read on deadlines sometimes. And this is where you put the personal aside and act like a professional – it matters not if I like the author. It’s about assessing their book, not whether or not they’re someone I’d care to go bowling with.
Many people have a hard time with that. And I don’t get it. Sure, you might look forward to releases by friends who’ve satisfied the reader in you in the past. I mean, my friends who write kick-ass books, I can’t wait for more.
But at the exclusion of those I don’t know? You aren’t my friend, so I won’t read you or consider reviewing you? Well, not with me. I’ve been asked to take review copies of a number of books recently, and some of them I really want to read from the description. But they’re on hold – I don’t waste an author’s money if I know I don’t have time to read the book. That’s just not fair, to me. It’s just down to having enough time to read now, and I’ll be taking those review copies!
It’s no wonder new writers get frustrated. You’ve got to hope people will like you in order to get a break. And, I mean, people aren’t all going to like you. Some people aren’t even going to give you a chance.
I know some people who don’t like other people. Cool. Does it affect my opinion? Usually, not at all, unless I already have an issue with the person. Seriously. We won’t all get along. My opinions of people are based on how they deal with me. I might see a pattern of behaviour between said person and others that makes me cautious, but I give everyone a chance. Kevin always tells me I shut my eyes to the warning signs, but I can’t help it.
I think everyone deserves a chance. And I’ve spent enough of my life wasted around people who were judgmental and petty. I don’t want to be that person anymore. Oh, I’m opinionated, but I’m far more open-minded today than ever before. Three years ago I wouldn’t have watched The Shield or The Wire. It’s been less than two years since I saw my first Wire episode. And there was some content I had a hard time with, but the writing and the acting, and being a hopeless David Simon fan, kept me watching long enough to get hooked. I’ve loved Baltimore for years, thanks to David Simon.
This is a big difference between me and a lot of other people, right here. I’d rather you just tell me you don’t like me and don’t want to hear from me ever again than get the not-so-polite brush-off. I got an email over the weekend that read to me like a complete, “have a nice life” message. I hate that. Did my mood affect how I interpreted the email, or was that what they were really saying? And if I don’t write back, do I end up getting yelled at because I ‘ditched’ the person?
It also drives me nuts if people are all nice to me, praise me to the stars, then submit a story to Spinetingler and, as soon as it’s published or rejected, I never hear from them again. If I “know” you, I don’t read your story anyway. Do yourself a favour, don’t waste your time.
I’d rather someone tell me they don’t like me and never want to hear from me. At least be straight about it. And save yourself the aggravation of future emails or (God forbid) meeting me at some book signing or conference.
But back to blurbs, I understand the frustration with requests– believe me. I’m already having a hard time keeping up with the email sometimes, but to me, it’s important to try. I never dreamed of writing God and asking him to read my manuscript – that’s me. But I think some authors are afraid of talking to aspiring authors, because they think they’ll be asked for favours. And in some cases, legitimately.
Maybe if I’d had the guts to get off my ass and ask everyone I knew, I’d have a list of blurbs to choose from. Maybe if I kept at them and kept asking… But, as much as some people think I’m far too “in your face” for their liking, I can’t do it.
I just can’t.
I was just genuinely thrilled for the few people who said they were willing to consider reading it, depending on their schedules.
Hasn’t worked out for most of them, but that’s cool. Looking at my desk, I understand. Completely.
Didn’t even consider asking Mark, and I actually have met him. Would a blurb on my book from him have sold a few copies?
I bet it would have.
Is it fair for me to expect him to do that? Absolutely not. Which is why I didn’t ask.
And some have asked about galley copies for doing reviews from, and I don't even know if any are being distributed. Sorry. There are a couple people who'll get a free book anyway, for all the help they gave me on editing stuff, but I doubt anyone will see a bound version before November. I think I've asked about as many people as I could muster the courage to already, and the ones who aren't done reading should stop now and burn it, seriously. But ask people to give up more time? I just can't do it.
What about you guys? Do you pay any attention to author referrals or blurbs? Or do they make no difference to you?
Happy Birthday EvilKev!
Yes, he’s a year older today. So, if you missed it yesterday, check out his story, Predator and then tell me I shouldn’t fear for my life!
Lonnie Cruse interviews JT Ellison
The interview is scheduled to be up on Lonnie’s blog today. Be sure to drop by, and also to congratulate Lonnie on her recent book deal!
And my friend, Stephen Blackmoore, has a great flash fiction piece up. Check it out!
* Quote – Kinsley Amis
Sunday, June 11, 2006
I taught him everything he knows
I hope you can all do me a big favour - do yourselves a favour - and read Predator by K. Robert Einarson. Then leave him a comment.
Because (sniff, sniff) today I get to be the proud wife of the writer and I do think evilkev's story is fantastic.
And he gets all whiny when he writes publisher's letters and the short story for the Cozy Noir contest and nobody tells him they like his stuff.
Of coure, he doesn't have a blog so why should he expect feedback on the Spinetingler stuff?
A site worth reading
Author Jan Burke has a fantastic blog, very insightful, rather unlike this blog. Jan has been talking about problems facing crime labs in the US. If you're writing crime, you should check out her blog, and if you're interested in forensic science, you'll find her insights fascinating. She blogs about more than that, but truly, this is a blog unlike most, well worth visiting when you've got a few minutes to really process the valuable information she's providing. And beyond crime writers, it's important stuff. People should know about the challenges the justice system faces as a result of insufficient staff and budget shortfalls at public labs.
In other news...
I'm going to throw up a post tomorrow or the next day about the edits. Yes, I've finished the first rewrite. The fantastic JT Ellison is reading it over to tell me if I screwed anything up majorly, and then I'll go over it again and give it back to my editor.
Who will die from the shock, I'm sure, but more about that in the next few days.
New faces!
Just wanted to say it's great to see The Rentable Writer, DesLily, Elizabeth, Forty_Two.... So many new faces popping up lately! And usually I'm much better at getting on the ball and adding links and all that jazz. All I can say is, I'll get there. As soon as the ms goes back to my editor, I'll have either a few days to breath, or a lot of explaining to do.
But I always love seeing new people drop by.
Forty_Two had a que...
...about what the seven basic plots were. The answer comes compliments of JB Thompson. Speaking of JB, she did an interview with author Rhys Bowen the other day. Check it out!
1. man vs. nature
2. man vs. man
3. man vs. the environment
4. man vs. machines/technology
5. man vs. the supernatural
6. man vs. self
7. man vs. god/religion
Woman may, of course, be substituted for man in all cases.
Because (sniff, sniff) today I get to be the proud wife of the writer and I do think evilkev's story is fantastic.
And he gets all whiny when he writes publisher's letters and the short story for the Cozy Noir contest and nobody tells him they like his stuff.
Of coure, he doesn't have a blog so why should he expect feedback on the Spinetingler stuff?
A site worth reading
Author Jan Burke has a fantastic blog, very insightful, rather unlike this blog. Jan has been talking about problems facing crime labs in the US. If you're writing crime, you should check out her blog, and if you're interested in forensic science, you'll find her insights fascinating. She blogs about more than that, but truly, this is a blog unlike most, well worth visiting when you've got a few minutes to really process the valuable information she's providing. And beyond crime writers, it's important stuff. People should know about the challenges the justice system faces as a result of insufficient staff and budget shortfalls at public labs.
In other news...
I'm going to throw up a post tomorrow or the next day about the edits. Yes, I've finished the first rewrite. The fantastic JT Ellison is reading it over to tell me if I screwed anything up majorly, and then I'll go over it again and give it back to my editor.
Who will die from the shock, I'm sure, but more about that in the next few days.
New faces!
Just wanted to say it's great to see The Rentable Writer, DesLily, Elizabeth, Forty_Two.... So many new faces popping up lately! And usually I'm much better at getting on the ball and adding links and all that jazz. All I can say is, I'll get there. As soon as the ms goes back to my editor, I'll have either a few days to breath, or a lot of explaining to do.
But I always love seeing new people drop by.
Forty_Two had a que...
...about what the seven basic plots were. The answer comes compliments of JB Thompson. Speaking of JB, she did an interview with author Rhys Bowen the other day. Check it out!
1. man vs. nature
2. man vs. man
3. man vs. the environment
4. man vs. machines/technology
5. man vs. the supernatural
6. man vs. self
7. man vs. god/religion
Woman may, of course, be substituted for man in all cases.
Saturday, June 10, 2006
It's Been One of Those Days
You've all been there. Dogs barking. Internet's down. Kicking the town freaks out of your backyard. They're there because hot damn, wommin', we's havin' us a parade and they think that means I want them on my property.
I remember the first year we lived here. Oh, you'd think the village would warn us that they were going to have all the floats for the parade lined up down our street, so we'd be hemmed in for hours and could expect to have unsupervised kids running on our property, parents threatening lawsuits if they tripped and broke their bloody nose on a sidewalk that they never should have been on in the first place.
Did I mention I hate parade day?
And I don't like it any better, even now that Kevin's in the damn thing.
Parade day is bad enough, but then, the internet goes down?
Dear GOD people, I was starting to have the shakes!
But now that it's up again, I can tell you all that Killer Year is really starting to come together, we're hoping to launch the group blog next week, and Jason Pinter's doing a fantastic job.
Absofuckinglutely fantastics.
Now that I've said that, I'm going to go get my broom and chase kids off my lawn.
I remember the first year we lived here. Oh, you'd think the village would warn us that they were going to have all the floats for the parade lined up down our street, so we'd be hemmed in for hours and could expect to have unsupervised kids running on our property, parents threatening lawsuits if they tripped and broke their bloody nose on a sidewalk that they never should have been on in the first place.
Did I mention I hate parade day?
And I don't like it any better, even now that Kevin's in the damn thing.
Parade day is bad enough, but then, the internet goes down?
Dear GOD people, I was starting to have the shakes!
But now that it's up again, I can tell you all that Killer Year is really starting to come together, we're hoping to launch the group blog next week, and Jason Pinter's doing a fantastic job.
Absofuckinglutely fantastics.
Now that I've said that, I'm going to go get my broom and chase kids off my lawn.
Friday, June 09, 2006
The Brotherhood of Blogging
There are people on the blogs who've become good friends of mine. Ridiculous? Not when you can lose 2 hours talking to them on the phone on a whim. Or in some cases, 4+.
Big difference between sustaining conversation on the phone and in person. In person, you can fiddle with drinks, talk about people around you, inspect clothes, whatever. You can be around someone for a while and say little.
On the phone, you either talk or you get off.
So yes, I've made good friends.
And I'm not keeping up with all of you now as much as I should BUT look forward to more surfing soon when the first set of edits are done. Almost there...
Meanwhile, there are people out there who've linked to me, and I don't know it. It's always very cool to find yourself linked on a new blog, but if you've linked to me and I've neglected you with my own list, please let me know.
Because we are all here to help each other, and although I haven't updated my links that recently, I have started making a list of links to add. And I'll get to it, I swear.
So, don't be shy. I appreciate it when someone says, "I read her blog." And I want to show you that by not overlooking you!
Thanks,
Sandra
Big difference between sustaining conversation on the phone and in person. In person, you can fiddle with drinks, talk about people around you, inspect clothes, whatever. You can be around someone for a while and say little.
On the phone, you either talk or you get off.
So yes, I've made good friends.
And I'm not keeping up with all of you now as much as I should BUT look forward to more surfing soon when the first set of edits are done. Almost there...
Meanwhile, there are people out there who've linked to me, and I don't know it. It's always very cool to find yourself linked on a new blog, but if you've linked to me and I've neglected you with my own list, please let me know.
Because we are all here to help each other, and although I haven't updated my links that recently, I have started making a list of links to add. And I'll get to it, I swear.
So, don't be shy. I appreciate it when someone says, "I read her blog." And I want to show you that by not overlooking you!
Thanks,
Sandra
I’m so tired I can hardly see straight.
All I want to do is go back to bed, but I can’t. I’ve got work to do.
I finished the first cover-to-cover edit on Suspicious Circumstances yesterday. My poor editor will likely have a heart attack when she sees it, but I’m really pleased with how it’s going.
And I’ve finished going through the first four chapters for the second time.
So, the rest of today is about re-reading. There are a few scenes that need a bit more tweaking, beyond that, it’s continuity.
Because I found an ooops that not one of my critiquers pointed out. Oh, minor to be sure, but still. A wee little thing that slipped everyone by, until last night when I started smacking myself on the forehead.
But I’ll be around on the weekend, with some jokes and kitty pictures, and trying to clear my head after this first big re-write.
There are lots of other places to be today. Please stop by JT Ellison’s Murderati post and read about a cold case that’s near to JT’s heart.
JB Thompsons has done another fantastic interview, this time with authorRhys Bowen - check it out!
And, if in the midst of the blogger fits, you missed it, here again is the big news of the week:
Killer Year
It all started with an innocuous comment on Jason Pinter's blog about the 'class of 2007'. A reference to new authors with debut books coming out next year... and to make a long story short, the debut mystery authors of 2007 are banding together. I've been accepted as an honourary member to the group, being doubly odd by being both Canadian and having my first book scheduled for release this November. And the point here is, if you've got your debut crime/thriller coming out in 2007, then email Jason at jason@jasonpinter.com with the following:
Your name
Book Title
Publisher
Release schedule
Blog Link
Website
Jason already has a Killer Year holding page for the website up, where all the authors will be mentioned. Brett's hard at work on logo designs and t-shirts and everyone's having mercy on me, because I'm in the middle of edits.
This is a great way for us newbies to link up, to get to know each other, get some exposure. So, if you fit the bill, don't be shy! Email Jason, and spread the word!
And perhaps I shouldn’t mention the name of the saintly individual that sent me this joke?
A woman pregnant with triplets is walking down the street when a masked robber runs out the bank and shoots her three times in the stomach. Luckily the babies are okay. The surgeon decides to leave the bullets in because it's too risky to operate. The woman gives birth to two girls and a boy.
All is fine for 16 years, and then one daughter walks into the room in tears. "What's wrong?" asks the mother. "I was having a wee and this bullet came out." replies the daughter. The mother tells her it's okay and explains what happened 16 years ago.
About a week later the second daughter walks in to the room in tears. "Mom, I was having a wee and this bullet came out." Again the mother tells her not to worry and explains what happened 16 years ago.
A week later the boy walks into the room in tears. "It's okay," says the mom, "I know what happened, you were having a wee and a bullet came out." And the boy says, "No, I was jerking off and I shot the dog!"
DAMN! I meant to post links to JT's new flash fiction piece, Dream Weaver and MG Tarquini's Everybody's a Critic. So sorry I forgot that, guys. I need caffeine...
I finished the first cover-to-cover edit on Suspicious Circumstances yesterday. My poor editor will likely have a heart attack when she sees it, but I’m really pleased with how it’s going.
And I’ve finished going through the first four chapters for the second time.
So, the rest of today is about re-reading. There are a few scenes that need a bit more tweaking, beyond that, it’s continuity.
Because I found an ooops that not one of my critiquers pointed out. Oh, minor to be sure, but still. A wee little thing that slipped everyone by, until last night when I started smacking myself on the forehead.
But I’ll be around on the weekend, with some jokes and kitty pictures, and trying to clear my head after this first big re-write.
There are lots of other places to be today. Please stop by JT Ellison’s Murderati post and read about a cold case that’s near to JT’s heart.
JB Thompsons has done another fantastic interview, this time with authorRhys Bowen - check it out!
And, if in the midst of the blogger fits, you missed it, here again is the big news of the week:
Killer Year
It all started with an innocuous comment on Jason Pinter's blog about the 'class of 2007'. A reference to new authors with debut books coming out next year... and to make a long story short, the debut mystery authors of 2007 are banding together. I've been accepted as an honourary member to the group, being doubly odd by being both Canadian and having my first book scheduled for release this November. And the point here is, if you've got your debut crime/thriller coming out in 2007, then email Jason at jason@jasonpinter.com with the following:
Your name
Book Title
Publisher
Release schedule
Blog Link
Website
Jason already has a Killer Year holding page for the website up, where all the authors will be mentioned. Brett's hard at work on logo designs and t-shirts and everyone's having mercy on me, because I'm in the middle of edits.
This is a great way for us newbies to link up, to get to know each other, get some exposure. So, if you fit the bill, don't be shy! Email Jason, and spread the word!
And perhaps I shouldn’t mention the name of the saintly individual that sent me this joke?
A woman pregnant with triplets is walking down the street when a masked robber runs out the bank and shoots her three times in the stomach. Luckily the babies are okay. The surgeon decides to leave the bullets in because it's too risky to operate. The woman gives birth to two girls and a boy.
All is fine for 16 years, and then one daughter walks into the room in tears. "What's wrong?" asks the mother. "I was having a wee and this bullet came out." replies the daughter. The mother tells her it's okay and explains what happened 16 years ago.
About a week later the second daughter walks in to the room in tears. "Mom, I was having a wee and this bullet came out." Again the mother tells her not to worry and explains what happened 16 years ago.
A week later the boy walks into the room in tears. "It's okay," says the mom, "I know what happened, you were having a wee and a bullet came out." And the boy says, "No, I was jerking off and I shot the dog!"
DAMN! I meant to post links to JT's new flash fiction piece, Dream Weaver and MG Tarquini's Everybody's a Critic. So sorry I forgot that, guys. I need caffeine...
Thursday, June 08, 2006
I don't care if your protagonist is thin
We all know that when Goldilocks got to the house in the woods, she was hungry and found three bowls of porridge. One was too hot, one was too cold, and one was just right.Then she went to sit down in a chair. The first was too big, the second too big as well, but the third was just right.
Although when she sat down, she broke the little chair because obviously, she was lying to herself about her weight and was too heavy for it. Either that, or it was one crappy carpenter, but I don’t think the average woodworker would want to risk pissing off a bear.
Then it was beds, and this time it was too hard, too soft and finally, just right.
Until the bears came home. Then it didn’t matter how “just right” that bed was. Goldilocks got the hell out of there and never went back.
Goldilocks was one seriously fussy little girl.
Either that, or I’m really easy.
Now, some of you know about my tumultuous life in my early years, and I’m not going to bore anyone with a rehash of the details I have shared here in the past. I mention it only because when I was a teenager, I needed something to put my back up against. Some people, when their life is out of control and they haven’t really got an anchor, they go wild. Sex, drugs, crime, whatever. Full-scale rebellion.
I went to church. I was very black and white, morally. There was nothing grey. I even went for a number of years without (gasp! I can’t believe I’m confessing this) listening to secular music.
Now, I’m glad that for a period of time in my life, I was sheltered. Because the time I spent first as student then staff member at a Christian school, was the time my life was literally turned upside down. I was still working there the last time I saw my dad. That would be 11.5 years ago. Suffice it to say that some familial bombshells dropped during that time, and I spent quite a while being pretty confused.
Times like that, a lot of people either go off the edge and turn to anything to numb the pain or look for anchors, absolutes. Anything to keep you from feeling completely adrift.
Didn’t help that much. Oh, I mean, it probably saved my life. I had responsibilities, expectations on me, I couldn’t just lose myself in a bottle or take my problems away with a needle. So, on the one hand, it likely saved me from myself. On the other, I needed some serious mental readjustment when I started to really put my life together, without a crutch.
I’m not calling God a crutch. I’m saying, for the record, that until I left that school I never really started to deal with my problems.
I remember one of the staff people, who told me that I’d “had enough time to deal with my little trauma and it was time to move on.” Whenever I think of that person and some of the completely heartless things I saw that person do, I so badly want to say two words to them. And they’re not ‘bless you’. Well, ‘you’ might be one of them.
There was a good stretch of time between leaving that life and getting married, and even my husband says I’m not the same person he first met.
I consider it a good thing. I mean, sure I’m still opinionated. But I’m more open-minded than I ever was before. I know people who won’t touch a book written by one of those alternative lifestyle people who’re defying God’s laws. I couldn’t care less. We’re all people, right? If you want to put a religious spin on it, all sinners. So what do I care who you sleep with? I don’t. Maybe if you’re a close friend and I know the person’s a jerk and I don’t want to see you get hurt I might have something to say, but beyond that? None of my business,
And I don’t care if you talk like a trucker, because believe me, some of the most “sweet as pie” to your face people I’ve known – like the staff member I referred to - carry the biggest, sharpest knives and use them regularly. I’ve been hurt by a lot of people over the years – sadly, never worse than by some of the devoutly religious people I know who play at nicey nice images. (This isn’t true of all religious people. I’m not saying that. I’m just talking about my experience with some of them.)
I am so not about some fucking put on fake smile coupled with a programmed mantra about how I’ve got all the answers. But you know what? Need help? I’m hear to listen, at least. I can’t promise answers, but I care about people. Having a bad year? Come vent. Need a shoulder? No problem.
What I’m not here to do is make judgments.
Two years ago, I wasn’t watching The Wire. I wasn’t reading anything other than British police procedurals (and classics like Jane Eyre). I was staying in my comfort zone.
And then I started writing.
I had all these inhibitions. No sex. No swearing. Yeah, can you believe it? Just two measly years ago…
One of the best things about writing was that, in order to learn, I felt I needed to branch out more. I made a deliberate effort to explore new books. PI books. Hard-boiled. I had a method to my research, almost always going off author referrals from authors I admired. And it just grew from there.
And I’m so glad that I explored new terrain. Two years ago, a story like Fucked Again wasn’t in me. For one, the technical writing ability needed some refinement. Some serious, serious polish. Still does, in fact. Maybe I’ll whine about book edits tomorrow…
And for two, I didn’t have it in me to put myself into that kind of character’s head. I lacked the skill, the experience, the willingness to go there. Then I started reading Val McDermid and she taught me so much. Showed me how much I was limiting myself.
Now, where is all this coming from, you ask? Well, nitpicking over books.
I mean, we all have our likes and dislikes. We’re all more inclined to certain preferences. We have different interests.
But some of the reasons I’ve seen mentioned recently – reasons people give for not reading books – make me sad.
Part of me has that side that wants to please everyone, but then there’s the wee bit of reason in my head that knows that you can’t and that trying to do so will just make you feel like a fraud, while you hide parts of yourself from some people so they don’t get offended.
I mean, I don’t swear much around my church friends. That’s a respect thing. But it isn’t like I pretend I never swear. That’s what I mean by hiding. Someone said to me that they were sure all those gays ever thought about was sex. I was so mad I pointed out as a 35-year-old female, that’s all I ever thought about as well. I mean, the ignorance and prejudice…
I find most prejudices tend to be driven by fear. What we don’t know, or understand, we’re more intimidated by. If we don’t understand it, we can’t control it, and it might be a threat to us.
I suppose that’s why, for me, I can’t maintain a list of reasons I won’t read a book. There’s been a big discussion about this on a forum. No tattoos. No swearing. No designer clothes. No little animals being hurt. No computer hackers. No slender characters. No tall women. No serial killer books. No politics.
No no no no no.
It’s enough to make me cry, it reminds me of the years I spent under the legalistic thumb of some people.
In response to it all, I posted this:
Married, divorced, gay, straight, a drinker, a teetotaler, someone who swears continuously, tattoos, no tattoos, I don't care.
All that matters to me is that the character reads real, is believable, and engages me in such a way that I want to spend time with them.
16, 17 months ago, when I first read Simon Kernick's The Business of Dying, I felt so guilty for liking someone that was, well, wrong. But that’s the beauty of it – Simon created a character that did things that I would never normally condone, yet he made the protagonist real and sympathetic enough for me to want more of him. The follow-up, A Good Day To Die, is one of my all-time favourite reads. Ever.
We all, as readers, bring our personality, world views and tastes to the reading experience. Some of us can believe certain characters more easily than others.
The only thing I know for certain is that I won't make every reader happy. But with such a range of authors and books out there, isn't the great thing that there's something for everyone?
You know what? I honestly think that, a few years ago, I was afraid of what I could be if I didn’t stay in control. I could see a lot of things in me I didn’t like. Hatred. Resentment. Anger. I used to think I was such a good person, but the older I got, the more aware I became of my own shortcomings.
I was afraid that if I spent time around some people without those moral restraints, I might lose track of mine. I guess I still wanted everyone to fit into black or white boxes, to be “good” or “bad”. When I look back on my life, I think it’s because the people I thought of as good for many years turned out to be some of the most destructive forces in my life and they hurt me the worst. Wouldn’t it be nice if, upon meeting someone, you could see if they were listening to their good angel or bad angel, and know the kind of friend they would –or would not-be?
Life doesn’t work that way, and one of the things that makes a beautiful friendship so wonderful is that you’ve discovered a kindred spirit.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
If I judged people by what they wrote, I would have missed out on meeting some fantastic people. I also would have missed out on some fantastic books.
As much as I know the British police procedurals will always be a security blanket for me, my comfort zone, where I run to when things are rough and I need a book fix to go with my chocolate, I also know that there are so many books outside of that limited scope that have given me hours of reading pleasure.
But these long lists of ready-made reasons… Look, I’m not knocking procedural, technical frustrations that make a reader put down a book. Oh, sure, I notice them on TV shows all the time, but seldom do I stop watching.
For some reason, a lot of people seem to be more forgiving of TV than books.
And what makes me sad is that I think of this forum as a place where booklovers come together to talk about their passion – BOOKS!
Yet I’ve also seen people jumped on because they aren’t reading the “right” things that others like. Shouldn’t we just be happy people are reading? And maybe liking a “lesser” book in our eyes is just the beginning of a journey that gets them reading other great books we do personally enjoy?
I just don’t get it.
Personally, I’m thankful. For the journey that brought me to this point, where I could be open-minded enough to venture into new terrain, to discover wonderful people with whom I have common bonds, to discover new books that have expanded my reading scope.
And can I just say that I find it incredibly odd that some have posted complaints about not liking negative characters…but, er, well, I guess it’s okay for them to complain?
Don’t get me wrong. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. It’s just that, as a writer, I can’t hear a lot of this stuff. Because it’s persuaded me that there will always be someone who won’t like Lara, just because she has auburn hair, or Tymen because he wears a suit, or Jimmy because he’s scruffy…
If I stopped to think about it, I’d go mad. I’m just glad that the inhibitions I had a few years ago haven’t stopped me, because if I’d given in to my pet peeves and prejudices, I would have missed some fantastic books along the way.
Because some days, I like sleeping in a King Size bed alone and stretching out. And some days, I like sleeping on a harder bed, because my back is bothering me. And some days, curling up in a big, oversized chair, with a blanket and a book, is far better than sitting stiffly in one that's just my size.
I'm not Goldilocks. Not inclined to think one size fits all, or that it should fit all.
AND PLEASE READ THE POST BELOW, KILLER YEAR, AND SPREAD THE WORD.
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
Killer Year
The debut writers of 2007 have exciting news!
It all started with an innocuous comment on Jason Pinter's blog about the 'class of 2007'. A reference to new authors with debut books coming out next year.
Which sparked a train of thought that Sarah Weinman thought it was worthy to make note of on her blog.
And ultimately, led to a discussion between myself, Brett Battles, JT Ellison and the man who'd sparked it all, Jason Pinter.
I've been accepted as an honourary member to the group, being doubly odd by being both Canadian and having my first book scheduled for release this November. And the point here is, if you've got your debut crime/thriller coming out in 2007, then email Jason at jason@jasonpinter.com with the following:
Your name
Book Title
Publisher
Release schedule
Blog Link
Website
Jason already has a Killer Year website up, where all the authors will be mentioned. Brett's hard at work on logo designs and t-shirts and everyone's having mercy on me, because I'm in the middle of edits.
This is a great way for us newbies to link up, to get to know each other, get some exposure. So, if you fit the bill, don't be shy! Email Jason, and spread the word!
It all started with an innocuous comment on Jason Pinter's blog about the 'class of 2007'. A reference to new authors with debut books coming out next year.
Which sparked a train of thought that Sarah Weinman thought it was worthy to make note of on her blog.
And ultimately, led to a discussion between myself, Brett Battles, JT Ellison and the man who'd sparked it all, Jason Pinter.
I've been accepted as an honourary member to the group, being doubly odd by being both Canadian and having my first book scheduled for release this November. And the point here is, if you've got your debut crime/thriller coming out in 2007, then email Jason at jason@jasonpinter.com with the following:
Your name
Book Title
Publisher
Release schedule
Blog Link
Website
Jason already has a Killer Year website up, where all the authors will be mentioned. Brett's hard at work on logo designs and t-shirts and everyone's having mercy on me, because I'm in the middle of edits.
This is a great way for us newbies to link up, to get to know each other, get some exposure. So, if you fit the bill, don't be shy! Email Jason, and spread the word!
Getting Over The Truth In Fiction
“It has always been desirable to tell the truth, but seldom if ever necessary.”
- A.J. Balfour
One of the fine lines that writers have to balance on is the line between creative license and reality.
Since I was on a Star Trek kick yesterday, why not carry on with it? I remember hearing about criticism of Star Trek because the ships made noise when viewed externally from space and in space there would be no noise.
My eyes have crossed just thinking about it.
As a reader and viewer, I’m pretty forgiving. The fact that the Enterprise’s engines hum doesn’t bother me much. It is, after all, sci fi. Just a TV show.
But as a writer, I have to make a diligent effort to walk the line and do my homework. Then decide when to use the truth and when to bend it.
We’ve all heard the saying that truth is stranger than fiction, and indeed it is. I’ve heard writers say on numerous occasions that if they wrote the truth about something, it would be so far over the top nobody would believe them, and I can think of an easy example. During a visit to the ME’s office, I was amused to learn what a pair of pruning shears can be substituted for, in lieu of far more expensive “medical” equipment, in order to perform an autopsy.
And I’ve never exactly looked at our gardening tools the same way since.
But if I wrote that in a book? Forget about it. People would never believe it.
I’d started thinking about this because of a recent forum discussion about what turns people off a book. For some, tattooed characters. For others, swearing. (Guess that person doesn’t read my blog.)
For me? What will make me put a book down? Two things, I guess, and they’re nebulous.
The first thing? Characters I don’t care about. It’s pretty subjective, isn’t it? Even if I don’t agree with a character, I need to feel like I’m beginning to understand them, that I want to take this journey with them. What springs to mind for me is Simon Kernick’s Dennis Milne.
Now, I’ve had a love of British police procedurals, and for a long time read a fairly narrow selection of crime fiction. 16, 17 months ago, when I first read The Business of Dying, which precedes A Good Day To Die, the book challenged me. I felt so guilty for liking someone that was, well, wrong. But that’s the beauty of it – Kernick created a character that did things that I would never normally condone, but made the protagonist real and sympathetic enough for me to want more of him.
Conversely, I read a book that I won’t name, by a well-known author who I also won’t name, that had a protagonist on the right side of the law that drove me up the fucking wall. I couldn’t relate to this person in any sense, didn’t care about their life, almost wished they had bought it in the end… And have never read another book by the author. But I’m not someone who goes on forums and bashes authors. So the book didn’t work for me. Big flippin’ deal. Multi-published author, this is a series character, so obviously, there are plenty who disagree with me.
So, it isn’t about morals, or seeing eye to eye or even necessarily having a lot in common (although I prefer screw-ups so I don’t feel so hopeless about myself). It’s just about whether or not the character engages me. And there are no formulas for that.
The Second Thing? Well, believability. Now, we’ve established that I can be pretty forgiving. But what will make me put a book down?
It’s a tricky one, but for me, it boils down to personal experience.
I tried to read a book once, set in a real location. Unfortunately, a place I used to live. References to real streets and real places. And a real hospital. Unfortunately, there were two things about the hospital the writer didn’t know or chose to disregard, I don’t know which. One was that this hospital had no emergency room, performed no surgeries. It was a long-term care hospital for elderly and infirm patients, a large number of whom would never leave the building while still drawing breath. Even the patients there that did require surgeries were transferred down the road, to another hospital, had surgery and then were transferred back.
The other thing was that the hospital was closed several years before this person’s book was published.
Now, there had been other things, little things, minor bugbears. One of them (a religious issue) was grating on me a bit, but I was still reading. But the hospital was, for me, the straw. I couldn’t take it.
Because my best friend had worked at that hospital until it was closed down. And all you needed to do was type the name of the hospital into google and top ten hits were all about the closure.
I know other people who’ve read the book and enjoyed it. But I had a hard time with this.
That’s happened with very few books. Even the odd legitimate blunder I can overlook it the story is good, well-written, the characters engaging. For example, I watch The Wire, and they reuse license plates on it. So the license plate for a car first season for a drug dealer’s “friend’s” car becomes the license plate later on some police vehicle. Sure, I’ve noticed. If getting the plate number hadn’t been a plot point in one episode, I probably wouldn’t have. But do I look like I care?
My friend Steve Mosby recently wrote about an experience he had, when someone found a mistake in one of his books:
“It got me worried and it got me thinking. By the end of my book, the guy had gone straight past the idea of living texts, the impossible architecture, the bizarre characters - all of that - until, finally, it was a small detail about a pistol that floored him. Fiction is a weird thing. People will happily read about characters, places and events that have never existed and never will, and yet in some instances the tiniest deviation from reality will be a deal-breaker. There's a fine line to tread. How realistic do you have to be?”
I’m not sure I have the answers on it, because I think for everyone, it’s different.
But one of the things I’ve noticed going through Suspicious Circumstances, entering the home-stretch with edits, is that my research wasn’t what it should have been. I’ve found myself questioning things, double-checking them, in a few cases tweaking them.
I’ve put the pressure on myself to be as accurate as possible about ‘big things’ anyone could know or discover easily. Beyond that, I’m trying not to worry about it too much.
In Steve’s article, he goes on to say that he doesn’t “believe you need to get everything right, but it's important you don't blatantly fuck up. It doesn't have to be accurate and it doesn't need to be true, but it does need to be convincing. If a nurse in your story is going to swab a dry wound, I don't think it really matters whether she moistens it first with water, saline or a 0.6% solution of pholiochlorine, so long as she doesn't just spit on a tissue.”
Sometimes, the inconvenient truth that will read like info dump, or that you can’t confirm precisely, can be negated by lack of specifics. We’ve all seen IV bags. We know there’s something liquid in them. Steve’s example is brilliant. I’m not a nurse – obviously my good friend is, so I do have a source who could give me the precise mix – but do I care? Does the reader?
Likely only if it’s going to be important to the story later.
The truth is, you can’t please everyone. If there’s one thing that forum discussion about what turns people off has proven to me, it’s that there will always – no matter how well you research your book, how hard you work at plotting it, or how real the characters are to you – there will always be someone who will put your book down for what might seem to you (or me) to be a ridiculous reason.
Rule #1. Do the best job you can to please yourself, your agent and your publisher.
Rule #2. Learn from your mistakes but don’t let them undermine your accomplishment. If you get to the point where someone is razzing at you at an Orion book launch party because of a mistake in your novel, just remember they wouldn’t have had a chance to do that if you weren’t published.
I’m not saying you should blow it all to hell and not give a damn. Just don’t sweat the small stuff. I have to smile. All Steve needed to do was say ‘gun’ or ‘revolver’ instead of ‘pistol’ and the complaint was gone.
Just like all the author of the book I was talking about had to do to make me okay with it was not name the hospital. Such a simple thing…
But if a book has kept you reading to the end, the author’s done a number of things right, a number of things very well. Truth is, at any given job we might only put in 98% on our best days. The thing with being an author is, your product is there for people to scrutinize at leisure, so a lot of authors don’t get praised for the 98% dead-on excellent work. They get hate mail over the 2% that could have been a bit better.
That’s one of the differences between readers and authors. Readers have all the time in the world to nitpick a book to death if they want to and find fault with it.
And authors have to deliver their work on a deadline, which means sometimes, a word or a detail gets overlooked.
“You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.” Matt. 7:5
What’s the one thing I can say about that book I had a problem with, that I stopped reading, now that I’m working on edits to my own?
I’m cluing in to how hard it is. Now that I can imagine life in the author’s position, under the gun on deadlines, I can see how someone would make a mistake about a hospital. Yank out a map, look around, pick one and not even think to question if it’s still open or has a special designated purpose. And if you hadn’t lived there, like me, chances are you’d never know.
At least there’s a bit of good news when the problem with your work is a question of research. Research is a lot easier to address than a character that fails to engage the readers.
So take heart, writers. No, not everyone will like what you do. Just focus on finding the audience that will appreciate your work, learn from your mistakes and move on.
It’s really all you can do.
More Spinetingler News
Over 1700 downloads on Monday, putting the three-day total at over 2700 downloads. Thanks for spreading the word, everyone.
And thanks Bonnie for the joke.
A woman decides to have a facelift for her 50th birthday. She spend $15,000 and feels pretty good about the results. On her way home, she stops at a newsstand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the clerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 32," is the reply.
"Nope! I'm exactly 50," the woman says happily.
A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl the very same question.
The girl replies, "I'd guess about 29."
The woman replies with a big smile, "Nope, I'm 50."
Now she's feeling really good about herself. She stops in a drug store on her way down the street. She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the clerk this burning question.
The clerk responds, "Oh, I'd say 30."
Again she proudly responds, "I'm 50, but thank you!"
While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question.
He replies, "Lady, I'm 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was young, there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are."
They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the best of her. She finally blurts out, "What the hell, go ahead."
He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast and he gently pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against each other.
After a couple of minutes of this, she says, "Okay, okay...How old am I?"
He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says, "Madam, you are 50."
Stunned and amazed, the woman says, "That was incredible, how could you tell?"
The old man says, "Promise you won't get mad?"
"I promise I won't." she says.
"I was behind you in line at McDonald's."
- A.J. Balfour
One of the fine lines that writers have to balance on is the line between creative license and reality.
Since I was on a Star Trek kick yesterday, why not carry on with it? I remember hearing about criticism of Star Trek because the ships made noise when viewed externally from space and in space there would be no noise.
My eyes have crossed just thinking about it.
As a reader and viewer, I’m pretty forgiving. The fact that the Enterprise’s engines hum doesn’t bother me much. It is, after all, sci fi. Just a TV show.
But as a writer, I have to make a diligent effort to walk the line and do my homework. Then decide when to use the truth and when to bend it.
We’ve all heard the saying that truth is stranger than fiction, and indeed it is. I’ve heard writers say on numerous occasions that if they wrote the truth about something, it would be so far over the top nobody would believe them, and I can think of an easy example. During a visit to the ME’s office, I was amused to learn what a pair of pruning shears can be substituted for, in lieu of far more expensive “medical” equipment, in order to perform an autopsy.
And I’ve never exactly looked at our gardening tools the same way since.
But if I wrote that in a book? Forget about it. People would never believe it.
I’d started thinking about this because of a recent forum discussion about what turns people off a book. For some, tattooed characters. For others, swearing. (Guess that person doesn’t read my blog.)
For me? What will make me put a book down? Two things, I guess, and they’re nebulous.
The first thing? Characters I don’t care about. It’s pretty subjective, isn’t it? Even if I don’t agree with a character, I need to feel like I’m beginning to understand them, that I want to take this journey with them. What springs to mind for me is Simon Kernick’s Dennis Milne.
Now, I’ve had a love of British police procedurals, and for a long time read a fairly narrow selection of crime fiction. 16, 17 months ago, when I first read The Business of Dying, which precedes A Good Day To Die, the book challenged me. I felt so guilty for liking someone that was, well, wrong. But that’s the beauty of it – Kernick created a character that did things that I would never normally condone, but made the protagonist real and sympathetic enough for me to want more of him.
Conversely, I read a book that I won’t name, by a well-known author who I also won’t name, that had a protagonist on the right side of the law that drove me up the fucking wall. I couldn’t relate to this person in any sense, didn’t care about their life, almost wished they had bought it in the end… And have never read another book by the author. But I’m not someone who goes on forums and bashes authors. So the book didn’t work for me. Big flippin’ deal. Multi-published author, this is a series character, so obviously, there are plenty who disagree with me.
So, it isn’t about morals, or seeing eye to eye or even necessarily having a lot in common (although I prefer screw-ups so I don’t feel so hopeless about myself). It’s just about whether or not the character engages me. And there are no formulas for that.
The Second Thing? Well, believability. Now, we’ve established that I can be pretty forgiving. But what will make me put a book down?
It’s a tricky one, but for me, it boils down to personal experience.
I tried to read a book once, set in a real location. Unfortunately, a place I used to live. References to real streets and real places. And a real hospital. Unfortunately, there were two things about the hospital the writer didn’t know or chose to disregard, I don’t know which. One was that this hospital had no emergency room, performed no surgeries. It was a long-term care hospital for elderly and infirm patients, a large number of whom would never leave the building while still drawing breath. Even the patients there that did require surgeries were transferred down the road, to another hospital, had surgery and then were transferred back.
The other thing was that the hospital was closed several years before this person’s book was published.
Now, there had been other things, little things, minor bugbears. One of them (a religious issue) was grating on me a bit, but I was still reading. But the hospital was, for me, the straw. I couldn’t take it.
Because my best friend had worked at that hospital until it was closed down. And all you needed to do was type the name of the hospital into google and top ten hits were all about the closure.
I know other people who’ve read the book and enjoyed it. But I had a hard time with this.
That’s happened with very few books. Even the odd legitimate blunder I can overlook it the story is good, well-written, the characters engaging. For example, I watch The Wire, and they reuse license plates on it. So the license plate for a car first season for a drug dealer’s “friend’s” car becomes the license plate later on some police vehicle. Sure, I’ve noticed. If getting the plate number hadn’t been a plot point in one episode, I probably wouldn’t have. But do I look like I care?
My friend Steve Mosby recently wrote about an experience he had, when someone found a mistake in one of his books:
“It got me worried and it got me thinking. By the end of my book, the guy had gone straight past the idea of living texts, the impossible architecture, the bizarre characters - all of that - until, finally, it was a small detail about a pistol that floored him. Fiction is a weird thing. People will happily read about characters, places and events that have never existed and never will, and yet in some instances the tiniest deviation from reality will be a deal-breaker. There's a fine line to tread. How realistic do you have to be?”
I’m not sure I have the answers on it, because I think for everyone, it’s different.
But one of the things I’ve noticed going through Suspicious Circumstances, entering the home-stretch with edits, is that my research wasn’t what it should have been. I’ve found myself questioning things, double-checking them, in a few cases tweaking them.
I’ve put the pressure on myself to be as accurate as possible about ‘big things’ anyone could know or discover easily. Beyond that, I’m trying not to worry about it too much.
In Steve’s article, he goes on to say that he doesn’t “believe you need to get everything right, but it's important you don't blatantly fuck up. It doesn't have to be accurate and it doesn't need to be true, but it does need to be convincing. If a nurse in your story is going to swab a dry wound, I don't think it really matters whether she moistens it first with water, saline or a 0.6% solution of pholiochlorine, so long as she doesn't just spit on a tissue.”
Sometimes, the inconvenient truth that will read like info dump, or that you can’t confirm precisely, can be negated by lack of specifics. We’ve all seen IV bags. We know there’s something liquid in them. Steve’s example is brilliant. I’m not a nurse – obviously my good friend is, so I do have a source who could give me the precise mix – but do I care? Does the reader?
Likely only if it’s going to be important to the story later.
The truth is, you can’t please everyone. If there’s one thing that forum discussion about what turns people off has proven to me, it’s that there will always – no matter how well you research your book, how hard you work at plotting it, or how real the characters are to you – there will always be someone who will put your book down for what might seem to you (or me) to be a ridiculous reason.
Rule #1. Do the best job you can to please yourself, your agent and your publisher.
Rule #2. Learn from your mistakes but don’t let them undermine your accomplishment. If you get to the point where someone is razzing at you at an Orion book launch party because of a mistake in your novel, just remember they wouldn’t have had a chance to do that if you weren’t published.
I’m not saying you should blow it all to hell and not give a damn. Just don’t sweat the small stuff. I have to smile. All Steve needed to do was say ‘gun’ or ‘revolver’ instead of ‘pistol’ and the complaint was gone.
Just like all the author of the book I was talking about had to do to make me okay with it was not name the hospital. Such a simple thing…
But if a book has kept you reading to the end, the author’s done a number of things right, a number of things very well. Truth is, at any given job we might only put in 98% on our best days. The thing with being an author is, your product is there for people to scrutinize at leisure, so a lot of authors don’t get praised for the 98% dead-on excellent work. They get hate mail over the 2% that could have been a bit better.
That’s one of the differences between readers and authors. Readers have all the time in the world to nitpick a book to death if they want to and find fault with it.
And authors have to deliver their work on a deadline, which means sometimes, a word or a detail gets overlooked.
“You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.” Matt. 7:5
What’s the one thing I can say about that book I had a problem with, that I stopped reading, now that I’m working on edits to my own?
I’m cluing in to how hard it is. Now that I can imagine life in the author’s position, under the gun on deadlines, I can see how someone would make a mistake about a hospital. Yank out a map, look around, pick one and not even think to question if it’s still open or has a special designated purpose. And if you hadn’t lived there, like me, chances are you’d never know.
At least there’s a bit of good news when the problem with your work is a question of research. Research is a lot easier to address than a character that fails to engage the readers.
So take heart, writers. No, not everyone will like what you do. Just focus on finding the audience that will appreciate your work, learn from your mistakes and move on.
It’s really all you can do.
More Spinetingler News
Over 1700 downloads on Monday, putting the three-day total at over 2700 downloads. Thanks for spreading the word, everyone.
And thanks Bonnie for the joke.
A woman decides to have a facelift for her 50th birthday. She spend $15,000 and feels pretty good about the results. On her way home, she stops at a newsstand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the clerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 32," is the reply.
"Nope! I'm exactly 50," the woman says happily.
A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl the very same question.
The girl replies, "I'd guess about 29."
The woman replies with a big smile, "Nope, I'm 50."
Now she's feeling really good about herself. She stops in a drug store on her way down the street. She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the clerk this burning question.
The clerk responds, "Oh, I'd say 30."
Again she proudly responds, "I'm 50, but thank you!"
While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question.
He replies, "Lady, I'm 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was young, there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are."
They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the best of her. She finally blurts out, "What the hell, go ahead."
He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast and he gently pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against each other.
After a couple of minutes of this, she says, "Okay, okay...How old am I?"
He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says, "Madam, you are 50."
Stunned and amazed, the woman says, "That was incredible, how could you tell?"
The old man says, "Promise you won't get mad?"
"I promise I won't." she says.
"I was behind you in line at McDonald's."
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Strip Tease
The talentedAmra Pajalic is flashing over at Tribe's Flashing in the Gutters. Her story is called 'Game' and it's one that will make your skin crawl.
Go check it out! I think we're converting her to the dark side of the writing world.
Go check it out! I think we're converting her to the dark side of the writing world.
Hopeless, sleepy-brained meanderings I'll blame on Mark Billingham, religious nuts & a bit of sci fi.
Big news about the new Spinetingler if the world doesn’t end before you finish reading this post.
Because the world will end today, and to mark the occasion, some bikers are riding to hell
This is a perfect example of how you can have one thing in your head to blog about, check out the news, and go in a completely different direction. Not one article relegated to the ‘weird news’ section, but three references to the fact that the numbers are scary today. Which means this might be the end. Oooohhhh. I'm quaking in my pajamas.
Despite my own religious background, I find these modern prophets of doom to be amusing. It’s just a number. A number doesn’t have any more power than you give it, unless it’s in reference to book sales, winning a prize or the dollar amount on a cheque.
In fact, when we moved here we were given our choice of phone numbers. One of the numbers offered was 2666 and I jumped at it. Easy to remember, and some might say appropriate for me.
I distinctly remember an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation. Captain Picard had been captured by the Borg, the most sinister threat to face humanity since Richard Simmons in spandex. Well, okay, likely since some other ominous species on a Star Trek series threatened earth.
This leaves Riker in charge of Enterprise, facing battle and, judging by the damage the Borg have demonstrated they’re capable of, certain death.
Which is when bartender Guinan, played by Whoopi Goldberg, tells Riker that is a man is convinced he’s going to die in the morning, he’ll find a way to make it happen.
There have been moments in my life when I have been so certain of something, it was such an absolute in my mind and I had no doubt about it. And I’ve seen that vision, that belief, turn into a reality.
All of this has me wondering how much we create our own karma. It’s the chicken and the egg things here. Do we lack the belief in our success (or whatever) because some external force is preventing it, or do we fail to achieve it because we don’t believe we can?
Athletes learn a lot about the power of positive thinking. I’d listen to figure skaters being interviewed after a lackluster performance and many would say something like, “it just wasn’t there for me” and then the gold medal winner would say they stepped on the ice and just “knew” it would be perfect.
You know. Being in the moment. In the zone. On.
I’m not disputing the power of positive – or negative – thinking. But there are moments when a story, when edits, whatever, are just coming together for me in a way that I’m completely satisfied with the outcome, it’s worked out better than I could have imagined, and I don’t say that I just got lucky that day.
Maybe “everything clicked”. As in mentally, I was able to make sense of a bunch of random thoughts and pull them together in a cohesive way, but not because I was zapped by a bolt of lightning and heard a divine voice telling me how the story should go.
It’s work.
Mark Billingham recently vented some frustration with people who say they “channel” their characters. You might find it interesting. Now, I did ask him a question about what he said, in part. I’ve always had this sneaking suspicion he’s one of those insidious plotters that I’d like to kill.
Because I couldn’t plot my way out of a paper bag.
But what he said was pretty helpful, because it reinforced there’s no one right way to plot. Just, at the end of the day, the writer doing their work.
I’m one of those people who finds formulas frustrating and stifling. Oh, there’s merit to some of them. I remember a talk on screenwriting, talking about the 25%, 50% and 75% points in the story line. 50% of the way through a story is the “point of no return” where the protagonist has no choice but to carry on. Some defining moment. The ¼ and ¾ marks are supposed to be where other major dramatic twists happen.
The speaker used a few movies to show how this is applied, on a routine basis, and it was surprising.
But I don’t think that you can reduce a good book down to mathematical equations. Particularly a series book. You read those because you’re invested in the characters. And because you know the character, you typically know they’re past the point of no return early on in the case, the minute they take it on, usually.
While it’s true there are some writing guidelines that can help us, like my recent ones (PISI – people introduced, setting introduced) and MALT (more action, less thinking) and GNDN (goes nowhere, does nothing), ultimately, I don’t take a chart with a list of rules or the elements of a quest and fill in all the categories first and then start typing.
I follow my instincts.
And I “listen to my characters.” By this I mean that I ask myself what would be true for this person, what they’d do in this situation, and then go with it.
Damn pests usually do something far different than I’d do as well, which means I really have to use my brain to project the outcome.
So, while some days I’m “on” what that means is, some days I’m just more focused than others.
And my phone number has nothing to do with it.
Now that I’ve had my little rant about that, which has meandered off into another writing tangent, anyone have any superstitions they want to share? I’m going to be a hopeless hypocrite and admit that I actually do think things sometimes happen in threes.
But I’m only going to fess up about that if 9 people admit to some superstition in the comments.
(Horrid, aren’t I?)
But, speaking of numbers, in the first TWO days that it was available, the new Spinetingler was downloaded over 1000 times. That’s actually Saturday-Sunday tallies, so not even counting numbers after it was mentioned on my blog, DorothyL, Sarah Weinman’s, , Megan Powell’s, or Stephen Blackmoore’s.
So, that’s pretty impressive! I think the only one who got their post up earlier was M G Tarquini. She’s so on the ball she makes me sick.
Oh, and Bill Blume got his post up Sunday. Complete with a picture of his protagonist.
And you know what I'd like to ask these people who insist all books must be plotted before written? How do you get your ideas? Write it down on a calendar that at 2:30 next Tuesday afternoon you will plan the idea for your next novel? I mean, heaven forbid you're just struck with a moment of, ahem, inspiration.
(I'm in trouble now, aren't I?)
Because the world will end today, and to mark the occasion, some bikers are riding to hell
This is a perfect example of how you can have one thing in your head to blog about, check out the news, and go in a completely different direction. Not one article relegated to the ‘weird news’ section, but three references to the fact that the numbers are scary today. Which means this might be the end. Oooohhhh. I'm quaking in my pajamas.
Despite my own religious background, I find these modern prophets of doom to be amusing. It’s just a number. A number doesn’t have any more power than you give it, unless it’s in reference to book sales, winning a prize or the dollar amount on a cheque.
In fact, when we moved here we were given our choice of phone numbers. One of the numbers offered was 2666 and I jumped at it. Easy to remember, and some might say appropriate for me.
I distinctly remember an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation. Captain Picard had been captured by the Borg, the most sinister threat to face humanity since Richard Simmons in spandex. Well, okay, likely since some other ominous species on a Star Trek series threatened earth.
This leaves Riker in charge of Enterprise, facing battle and, judging by the damage the Borg have demonstrated they’re capable of, certain death.
Which is when bartender Guinan, played by Whoopi Goldberg, tells Riker that is a man is convinced he’s going to die in the morning, he’ll find a way to make it happen.
There have been moments in my life when I have been so certain of something, it was such an absolute in my mind and I had no doubt about it. And I’ve seen that vision, that belief, turn into a reality.
All of this has me wondering how much we create our own karma. It’s the chicken and the egg things here. Do we lack the belief in our success (or whatever) because some external force is preventing it, or do we fail to achieve it because we don’t believe we can?
Athletes learn a lot about the power of positive thinking. I’d listen to figure skaters being interviewed after a lackluster performance and many would say something like, “it just wasn’t there for me” and then the gold medal winner would say they stepped on the ice and just “knew” it would be perfect.
You know. Being in the moment. In the zone. On.
I’m not disputing the power of positive – or negative – thinking. But there are moments when a story, when edits, whatever, are just coming together for me in a way that I’m completely satisfied with the outcome, it’s worked out better than I could have imagined, and I don’t say that I just got lucky that day.
Maybe “everything clicked”. As in mentally, I was able to make sense of a bunch of random thoughts and pull them together in a cohesive way, but not because I was zapped by a bolt of lightning and heard a divine voice telling me how the story should go.
It’s work.
Mark Billingham recently vented some frustration with people who say they “channel” their characters. You might find it interesting. Now, I did ask him a question about what he said, in part. I’ve always had this sneaking suspicion he’s one of those insidious plotters that I’d like to kill.
Because I couldn’t plot my way out of a paper bag.
But what he said was pretty helpful, because it reinforced there’s no one right way to plot. Just, at the end of the day, the writer doing their work.
I’m one of those people who finds formulas frustrating and stifling. Oh, there’s merit to some of them. I remember a talk on screenwriting, talking about the 25%, 50% and 75% points in the story line. 50% of the way through a story is the “point of no return” where the protagonist has no choice but to carry on. Some defining moment. The ¼ and ¾ marks are supposed to be where other major dramatic twists happen.
The speaker used a few movies to show how this is applied, on a routine basis, and it was surprising.
But I don’t think that you can reduce a good book down to mathematical equations. Particularly a series book. You read those because you’re invested in the characters. And because you know the character, you typically know they’re past the point of no return early on in the case, the minute they take it on, usually.
While it’s true there are some writing guidelines that can help us, like my recent ones (PISI – people introduced, setting introduced) and MALT (more action, less thinking) and GNDN (goes nowhere, does nothing), ultimately, I don’t take a chart with a list of rules or the elements of a quest and fill in all the categories first and then start typing.
I follow my instincts.
And I “listen to my characters.” By this I mean that I ask myself what would be true for this person, what they’d do in this situation, and then go with it.
Damn pests usually do something far different than I’d do as well, which means I really have to use my brain to project the outcome.
So, while some days I’m “on” what that means is, some days I’m just more focused than others.
And my phone number has nothing to do with it.
Now that I’ve had my little rant about that, which has meandered off into another writing tangent, anyone have any superstitions they want to share? I’m going to be a hopeless hypocrite and admit that I actually do think things sometimes happen in threes.
But I’m only going to fess up about that if 9 people admit to some superstition in the comments.
(Horrid, aren’t I?)
But, speaking of numbers, in the first TWO days that it was available, the new Spinetingler was downloaded over 1000 times. That’s actually Saturday-Sunday tallies, so not even counting numbers after it was mentioned on my blog, DorothyL, Sarah Weinman’s, , Megan Powell’s, or Stephen Blackmoore’s.
So, that’s pretty impressive! I think the only one who got their post up earlier was M G Tarquini. She’s so on the ball she makes me sick.
Oh, and Bill Blume got his post up Sunday. Complete with a picture of his protagonist.
And you know what I'd like to ask these people who insist all books must be plotted before written? How do you get your ideas? Write it down on a calendar that at 2:30 next Tuesday afternoon you will plan the idea for your next novel? I mean, heaven forbid you're just struck with a moment of, ahem, inspiration.
(I'm in trouble now, aren't I?)
Monday, June 05, 2006
I remember the day we decided to start Spinetingler…
…and not always with great fondness, either.
It’s funny to think back, because 18 months ago, when it started, I was barely on DorothyL trying to make sense of the listserve and who these people were (but I was continuously being told I had to read it if I was writing mysteries). I’d never heard of a blog. I participated in discussions on some author forums, but hadn’t even been on those for close to a year and was there mainly as a way to get book referrals and find other people with similar interests.
And when we started the ezine, I had no idea how much it would grow over time.
Yes, folks, the new issue of Spinetingler Magazine is up And it’s our biggest issue yet, complete with
- Short Stories
And the Devil Will Drag You Under by Stephen Blackmoore
Demon in the Storehouse by Megan Powell
Cursive Three by Joe Swope
A Dream by Erato Sahapoglu
The Kiss George Burden
DJ’s Girl by Sarah Weinman
Downdraft From Tokyo by Michael Obilade
Tigergirl by Daniel Arenson
Domino by MG Tarquini
- Interviews and Profiles
Murphy’s Laws For Successful Writing: Profile of Margaret Murphy by Chris High
Colin Campbell: His Work, Love of Films & Tennis, And What the Future Holds by Chris High
In Conversation With Cornelia Read: Blubber, Barf Buckets, Breast Size and… The National Film Board of Canada? (part 2) by Sandra Ruttan
- Reviews
Sandra Ruttan reviews Rhapsody in Blood, The Forest of Souls and The Field of Darkness
Chris High reviews Through the Ruins of Midnight, Gone and The Lincoln Lawyer
Andrea Maloney reviews Murder @ Work
Martin Edwards reviews Raven Black by Ann Cleeves (nominated for the top Dagger prize this year)
Book Signing: On the Road with Lee Child and Cornelia Read by Angela Lynn
Fostering Online Communities on Author Forums: Sandra Ruttan interviews moderator Jayne Massey, with comments from Mark Billinghamand John Connolly
Spinetingler Staff Profile: M G Tarquini
And, as though that isn’t enough, we’ve launched the COZY NOIR contest.
There are four stories included, just to show you how broadly we’ll define “cozy noir”.
A Fistful of Cozy by JA Konrath
Unstuffed by Bill Blume
Favourite Things by K. Robert Einarson (as in, evilkev)
Childhood Dreams by Sandra Ruttan
Oddly enough, when we started Spinetingler, I was only aware of a few ezines out there. Now, the numbers are growing. I do try to keep an updated list of links here for publication venues, and if you know of others I don’t have, please let me know.
And special thanks to Trace, one of our amazing editors, who we plan to profile in the Fall Issue.
Now, let me see. This month I have to finish off the Canadian Issue, finish selecting the stories for the special double issue we’re running for Fall, do the edits on the stories for fall, prep for a couple interviews coming up and continue arguing with evilkev about why he insists on making such cheery covers for an not-so-cheery ezine.
Plus, you know, finish editing my book.
I’m sure I’m forgetting something…
I was going to send you all to Brett's blog, but he might want to keep that Tar Pit idea to himself. Never know how that might prove useful down the road, Brett…
And Because, as Bill said, You Can Never Have Too Many Kitties…
Now you may tell us how fantastic the issue looks. Or point out really big mistakes we missed. The bigger the issue, the more stressed I'm getting about that...
It’s funny to think back, because 18 months ago, when it started, I was barely on DorothyL trying to make sense of the listserve and who these people were (but I was continuously being told I had to read it if I was writing mysteries). I’d never heard of a blog. I participated in discussions on some author forums, but hadn’t even been on those for close to a year and was there mainly as a way to get book referrals and find other people with similar interests.
And when we started the ezine, I had no idea how much it would grow over time.
Yes, folks, the new issue of Spinetingler Magazine is up And it’s our biggest issue yet, complete with
- Short Stories
And the Devil Will Drag You Under by Stephen Blackmoore
Demon in the Storehouse by Megan Powell
Cursive Three by Joe Swope
A Dream by Erato Sahapoglu
The Kiss George Burden
DJ’s Girl by Sarah Weinman
Downdraft From Tokyo by Michael Obilade
Tigergirl by Daniel Arenson
Domino by MG Tarquini
- Interviews and Profiles
Murphy’s Laws For Successful Writing: Profile of Margaret Murphy by Chris High
Colin Campbell: His Work, Love of Films & Tennis, And What the Future Holds by Chris High
In Conversation With Cornelia Read: Blubber, Barf Buckets, Breast Size and… The National Film Board of Canada? (part 2) by Sandra Ruttan
- Reviews
Sandra Ruttan reviews Rhapsody in Blood, The Forest of Souls and The Field of Darkness
Chris High reviews Through the Ruins of Midnight, Gone and The Lincoln Lawyer
Andrea Maloney reviews Murder @ Work
Martin Edwards reviews Raven Black by Ann Cleeves (nominated for the top Dagger prize this year)
Book Signing: On the Road with Lee Child and Cornelia Read by Angela Lynn
Fostering Online Communities on Author Forums: Sandra Ruttan interviews moderator Jayne Massey, with comments from Mark Billinghamand John Connolly
Spinetingler Staff Profile: M G Tarquini
And, as though that isn’t enough, we’ve launched the COZY NOIR contest.
There are four stories included, just to show you how broadly we’ll define “cozy noir”.
A Fistful of Cozy by JA Konrath
Unstuffed by Bill Blume
Favourite Things by K. Robert Einarson (as in, evilkev)
Childhood Dreams by Sandra Ruttan
Oddly enough, when we started Spinetingler, I was only aware of a few ezines out there. Now, the numbers are growing. I do try to keep an updated list of links here for publication venues, and if you know of others I don’t have, please let me know.
And special thanks to Trace, one of our amazing editors, who we plan to profile in the Fall Issue.
Now, let me see. This month I have to finish off the Canadian Issue, finish selecting the stories for the special double issue we’re running for Fall, do the edits on the stories for fall, prep for a couple interviews coming up and continue arguing with evilkev about why he insists on making such cheery covers for an not-so-cheery ezine.
Plus, you know, finish editing my book.
I’m sure I’m forgetting something…
I was going to send you all to Brett's blog, but he might want to keep that Tar Pit idea to himself. Never know how that might prove useful down the road, Brett…
And Because, as Bill said, You Can Never Have Too Many Kitties…
Now you may tell us how fantastic the issue looks. Or point out really big mistakes we missed. The bigger the issue, the more stressed I'm getting about that...
Sunday, June 04, 2006
The weekend that isn't
People so often comment on how nice it must be to stay at home and write all day.
Today is one of those days I'd consider throttling anyone who says that to me.
Joke
Joe Bob, John Boy and Bubba were moving furniture. While Joe Bob and John Boy were struggling with a particularly heavy oak wardrobe, Joe Bob noticed that Bubba was nowhere in sight.
"John Boy, where's Bubba?" asked Joe Bob. "He should be helping us with this thing."
"He is helping," said John Boy. "He's inside holding the clothes hangers in place!"
Thanks for the joke Forrest.
Kitty Pictures!
Simon, Russel, Stuart
Rebus
Russel, Stuart
Stuart, Russel, Simon
Simon, Russel
Today is one of those days I'd consider throttling anyone who says that to me.
Joke
Joe Bob, John Boy and Bubba were moving furniture. While Joe Bob and John Boy were struggling with a particularly heavy oak wardrobe, Joe Bob noticed that Bubba was nowhere in sight.
"John Boy, where's Bubba?" asked Joe Bob. "He should be helping us with this thing."
"He is helping," said John Boy. "He's inside holding the clothes hangers in place!"
Thanks for the joke Forrest.
Kitty Pictures!
Simon, Russel, Stuart
Rebus
Russel, Stuart
Stuart, Russel, Simon
Simon, Russel
Saturday, June 03, 2006
Damn that Stuart...
I've always known he was insidious, but hijacking a link to send people to Amazon instead of Brett's marvelous post?
Okay, I'm sure I screwed up. Sorry Brett. Nobody told me until now.
Okay, I'm sure I screwed up. Sorry Brett. Nobody told me until now.
The best thing about a birthday is the presents...
...And the best kind of present is usually one that gives me control.
So, what did I get? $$ gift certificates for books.
Kevin and I went to the city for a few hours, had lunch, went to the bookstore. I decided that I’d spend my time ambling through the mystery section until I’d spent all my money.
Which was a plan that was quickly chucked out the window.
Mark Billingham’s new book, Buried had finally arrived on store shelves in Canada. And Stuart MacBride’s new book, Dying Light, which sounds like a guide to death through weight loss, was also out. Hurrah.
How can I not be happy?
But it gets better.
The incomparable Brett Battle went to a book signing for Barry Eisler and…
Well, go check out the link to Brett’s site.
Wahoo! Now, that’s a great end to a great birthday!
And I’ll post kitten pictures tomorrow.
What’s your porn star name? Jenny Jiggles
So, what did I get? $$ gift certificates for books.
Kevin and I went to the city for a few hours, had lunch, went to the bookstore. I decided that I’d spend my time ambling through the mystery section until I’d spent all my money.
Which was a plan that was quickly chucked out the window.
Mark Billingham’s new book, Buried had finally arrived on store shelves in Canada. And Stuart MacBride’s new book, Dying Light, which sounds like a guide to death through weight loss, was also out. Hurrah.
How can I not be happy?
But it gets better.
The incomparable Brett Battle went to a book signing for Barry Eisler and…
Well, go check out the link to Brett’s site.
Wahoo! Now, that’s a great end to a great birthday!
And I’ll post kitten pictures tomorrow.
What’s your porn star name? Jenny Jiggles
Your Porn Star Name Is... |
 |
Friday, June 02, 2006
How to deal with stalkers or cling-on girlfriends you want to dump
I think it’s wonderful you could all be here for the 43rd anniversary of my 39th birthday…*
Okay, so I’m not that old. And proudly, Stuart thought I was 31. Well, either that or he’s damn well trained.
No, today it’s like being on top of the slide. From here on it’s all hurtling downhill until you fall face-first on the ground and lack the energy to get back up.
I actually like being in my 30’s. Much better than my 20’s. You know your own mind more, and you don’t take as much shit from people if you don’t need to, worry less about meeting their expectations and aren’t afraid to enjoy yourself.
But, being my birthday and all, I figured today should be about whatever I wanted it to be about. So, a bit about me, a bit of humour, and my wishes that you all have a great day.
How abnormal are you? (32%)
If I have no soul, it's because the voices stole it from me.
And I only feel comfortable in basements if I'm carrying a cross and garlic. I'm not in love with my own reflection, which is good, because I can't look in mirrors, which explains the hair and make-up problems on the average day.
And it's not a chaotic mess. It's the "aura that is conducive to my art."
And, because I'm now old enough to dispense pearls of wisdom to the rest of the world, let's have the Sandra's self-help segment of the day. This one is for any of you famous people, like Stuart, who have stalkers, here’s one way to deal with them.
JT Ellison sent me this one. Bird Flu Hits Trailer Park
* Quote from Bob Hope
Okay, so I’m not that old. And proudly, Stuart thought I was 31. Well, either that or he’s damn well trained.
No, today it’s like being on top of the slide. From here on it’s all hurtling downhill until you fall face-first on the ground and lack the energy to get back up.
I actually like being in my 30’s. Much better than my 20’s. You know your own mind more, and you don’t take as much shit from people if you don’t need to, worry less about meeting their expectations and aren’t afraid to enjoy yourself.
But, being my birthday and all, I figured today should be about whatever I wanted it to be about. So, a bit about me, a bit of humour, and my wishes that you all have a great day.
How abnormal are you? (32%)
You Are 32% Abnormal |
 You are at medium risk for being a psychopath. It is somewhat likely that you have no soul. You are at medium risk for having a borderline personality. It is somewhat likely that you are a chaotic mess. You are at low risk for having a narcissistic personality. It is unlikely that you are in love with your own reflection. You are at medium risk for having a social phobia. It is somewhat likely that you feel most comfortable in your mom's basement. You are at low risk for obsessive compulsive disorder. It is unlikely that you are addicted to hand sanitizer. |
If I have no soul, it's because the voices stole it from me.
And I only feel comfortable in basements if I'm carrying a cross and garlic. I'm not in love with my own reflection, which is good, because I can't look in mirrors, which explains the hair and make-up problems on the average day.
And it's not a chaotic mess. It's the "aura that is conducive to my art."
And, because I'm now old enough to dispense pearls of wisdom to the rest of the world, let's have the Sandra's self-help segment of the day. This one is for any of you famous people, like Stuart, who have stalkers, here’s one way to deal with them.
JT Ellison sent me this one. Bird Flu Hits Trailer Park
* Quote from Bob Hope
Thursday, June 01, 2006
Without the sorrows of life, the joys would not exist
Yesterday I was sitting here in tears, feeling completely lost, typing, “The first 5 months of this year should have been filled with all the best things to celebrate… but it’s been just about the worst 5 months I’ve had in a long time...”
And oddly enough, this is where I’ll insert one of those blog quizzes. You’ll see why in a minute.
What your face says about you
Forget everything else: In stressful situations you seem like you’re oblivious to the stress.
When I did this test a few days ago and read that, I thought, “Bullshit. Me? I wear my heart on my sleeve. Speak before I think. Lash out. Fly off the handle, regret it later…” But when I thought about the reason for this post, I realized that part of the assessment wasn’t as far off as I’d originally thought.
The truth is, in a real crisis, I usually tend to hold things together, make everything look like it’s fine, and then, when disaster has been averted, the threat is over, I collapse.
Yesterday’s post generated some fascinating discussion in the comments, and one of the things I referenced was the history of mental illness in my mother’s family. Her father died at a mental institution. When I was 17, I dealt with my mother after one of her many suicide attempts. I woke up in the middle of the night and just knew something was wrong. Couldn’t put my finger on it right away. The house was cloaked in the black of night and the absence of sound that so often goes with it. Then I heard something, and things always sound louder cutting through silence. I remember I was moving before I really thought, running downstairs, to my office. My mother was screaming and furniture was being knocked around – she was screaming, “Get away,” amongst other things.
I thought she was being attacked. When I grabbed the door handle, it was locked. I was banging on the door, screaming, “Let me in” and she was inside screaming, “Let me out.” When she finally got the lock off the door, I looked at the window, expecting it to be broken or open with evidence of someone fleeing the scene.
It wasn’t.
Didn’t take long to put it all together. She’d overdosed, and not on any conventional pills but on some nasty shit. It was a 20 minute drive to the hospital and by then the delusions were so bad she fought off the attendants who tried to take her inside.
Four days in intensive care before they could stabilize her heart. And then it was off to the mental institution for the required psychiatric assessment after a suicide attempt. Same institution her dad died in.
As many of you know, 8.5 years after walking out of my life, my mother reappeared a few months ago. She met my husband for the first time, met two of her grandchildren for the first time.
And one of the things I told her right out was that we expected her to be getting care for her condition in order to be part of our lives. Because, as I told her, with Kevin’s brother having shot himself, there was no way I was putting him – or anyone else – through the rollercoaster of wondering when the next time was coming, when someone would call.
I’m not trying to pick on my mother. Truth is, things have been going fine, much better than I would have thought in many respects. Still, I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t stressful. But it’s stressful largely because of me. My fears. Things I begin to realize that I still haven’t really worked through, although I thought I had.
I persuaded myself a long time ago that being open about things meant there were no secrets people could wield over you like a weapon, use to hurt you. I’ve since learned that theory is absolute shit. People just find other ways to hurt you.
I’ve been hurt by a lot of people this year, and I’ve blogged about it months back, so I won’t bore anyone with a recap. I’ve also been through the family situation, and I won’t bore you with more of that either. Plus, there’s been death, not to mention the fucking energy company that we’re now in legal wrangling with over them stealing our mineral rights, but again, that’s another story. And there are other things I haven’t even gone on record here about.
It’s just all built up into a lot of stress. I hadn’t really realized how bad it had gotten until the past few weeks, when I started feeling like I was coming unglued. I was crying when people sent me emails, for crying out loud. I forgot our engagement anniversary, which is the one we usually celebrate because our wedding anniversary falls on Wordfest. Last year, we went away for a weekend… This year, I didn’t even know what day it was. It’s pretty fucking bad when your husband’s showing you up with remembering all the important dates and you’re looking like an imbecile.
And now, just as I was starting to sort through some of this, I’ve realized that I failed somebody I considered a good friend.
I’m one of those people who can talk tough sometimes, and then I’ll go to my room and cry. I know a few weeks back, after an email from someone in that writer’s group I used to be in, I posted a remark about people who wanted to jump to conclusions without finding out the facts first could go fuck themselves.
If only it was so simple and I really didn’t give a shit. But I do. And there are days I absolutely hate that I care.
Something I should have done a few weeks ago, at least, was go on the record and tell you guys that if I’m not always commenting or responding as quick as usual, it isn’t personal. I’m still blog surfing but commenting less at the moment, out of sheer time pressures, although I’m much better with blogs than some other things. I’m still averaging close to 200 emails per day and although I’m staying on top of most of them quickly, the ones that require more time and attention seem to be suffering delays sometimes.
And it’s only going to get worse for the next bit. I’ve condensed the notes from my 10.5 hour critiquing session last week down to 23 pages of things to look at in one manuscript. Plus, my editor has promised goodies for me next week.
Which means work.
So, if you don’t see me, it isn’t that I don’t care. It isn’t even that I’m wrapped up in my own self-absorbed bubble and can’t be arsed to think about anyone else. It isn’t even that I’m not reading.
Truthfully, part of the reason this year has been really good and that I still can see a lot of positives in it is because I’ve had some friends who’ve stood behind me through thick and thin and been there when I’ve needed them.
I hope they know who they are.
The new Spinetingler should be up soon and you’ll get to read my conversation with Cornelia Read if you want to. One of the things she talks about is writing thank-you cards and wanting to show appreciation for those who’ve helped her.
And yet, we both lamented over how insane our schedules have become in the past few months, and how it’s getting harder and harder to do all the things we want to do… Truth is, there have been a lot of great things happen this year, and I'm still pretty excited. I don't want anyone to think I'm not grateful. I just feel as though my head's about to explode some days, but it's getting better.
Or so I keep telling myself.
One of the sucky things about my ms is that I have to weed out my musical references to Bruce Cockburn because I’ve been told he’s not well known in the US. But one of his songs rings true for me for how I’ve been feeling lately, and so I will share this here:
Sunset is an angel weeping
Holding out a bloody sword
No matter how I squint I cannot
Make out what it's pointing toward
Sometimes you feel like you live too long
Days drip slowly on the page
You catch yourself
Pacing the cage
- Bruce Cockburn
I’m going to try to deal with my personal stresses better, and hopefully not let anybody else down. As much as I know I have a lot of work to do this next month, the good news is, it’s my work and I can control my schedule.
Hopefully, when the dust settles, some of you will still be talking to me too. And even if I don’t seem to be around, don’t be shy. I want to hear from everyone. And help out however I can, if I can.
In light of yesterday’s post and stimulating conversation, I bring you this pearl of wisdom:
And, in very good news, polygamy has been legally recognized in Canada.
I hope Kevin can find a second wife that likes to cook and clean so I don’t have to.
And oddly enough, this is where I’ll insert one of those blog quizzes. You’ll see why in a minute.
What your face says about you
What Your Face Says |
 At first glance, people see you as warm and well-balanced. Overall, your true self is reserved and logical. With friends, you seem dramatic, lively, and quick to react. In love, you seem like a huge flirt. In stressful situations, you seem like you're oblivious to the stress. |
Forget everything else: In stressful situations you seem like you’re oblivious to the stress.
When I did this test a few days ago and read that, I thought, “Bullshit. Me? I wear my heart on my sleeve. Speak before I think. Lash out. Fly off the handle, regret it later…” But when I thought about the reason for this post, I realized that part of the assessment wasn’t as far off as I’d originally thought.
The truth is, in a real crisis, I usually tend to hold things together, make everything look like it’s fine, and then, when disaster has been averted, the threat is over, I collapse.
Yesterday’s post generated some fascinating discussion in the comments, and one of the things I referenced was the history of mental illness in my mother’s family. Her father died at a mental institution. When I was 17, I dealt with my mother after one of her many suicide attempts. I woke up in the middle of the night and just knew something was wrong. Couldn’t put my finger on it right away. The house was cloaked in the black of night and the absence of sound that so often goes with it. Then I heard something, and things always sound louder cutting through silence. I remember I was moving before I really thought, running downstairs, to my office. My mother was screaming and furniture was being knocked around – she was screaming, “Get away,” amongst other things.
I thought she was being attacked. When I grabbed the door handle, it was locked. I was banging on the door, screaming, “Let me in” and she was inside screaming, “Let me out.” When she finally got the lock off the door, I looked at the window, expecting it to be broken or open with evidence of someone fleeing the scene.
It wasn’t.
Didn’t take long to put it all together. She’d overdosed, and not on any conventional pills but on some nasty shit. It was a 20 minute drive to the hospital and by then the delusions were so bad she fought off the attendants who tried to take her inside.
Four days in intensive care before they could stabilize her heart. And then it was off to the mental institution for the required psychiatric assessment after a suicide attempt. Same institution her dad died in.
As many of you know, 8.5 years after walking out of my life, my mother reappeared a few months ago. She met my husband for the first time, met two of her grandchildren for the first time.
And one of the things I told her right out was that we expected her to be getting care for her condition in order to be part of our lives. Because, as I told her, with Kevin’s brother having shot himself, there was no way I was putting him – or anyone else – through the rollercoaster of wondering when the next time was coming, when someone would call.
I’m not trying to pick on my mother. Truth is, things have been going fine, much better than I would have thought in many respects. Still, I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t stressful. But it’s stressful largely because of me. My fears. Things I begin to realize that I still haven’t really worked through, although I thought I had.
I persuaded myself a long time ago that being open about things meant there were no secrets people could wield over you like a weapon, use to hurt you. I’ve since learned that theory is absolute shit. People just find other ways to hurt you.
I’ve been hurt by a lot of people this year, and I’ve blogged about it months back, so I won’t bore anyone with a recap. I’ve also been through the family situation, and I won’t bore you with more of that either. Plus, there’s been death, not to mention the fucking energy company that we’re now in legal wrangling with over them stealing our mineral rights, but again, that’s another story. And there are other things I haven’t even gone on record here about.
It’s just all built up into a lot of stress. I hadn’t really realized how bad it had gotten until the past few weeks, when I started feeling like I was coming unglued. I was crying when people sent me emails, for crying out loud. I forgot our engagement anniversary, which is the one we usually celebrate because our wedding anniversary falls on Wordfest. Last year, we went away for a weekend… This year, I didn’t even know what day it was. It’s pretty fucking bad when your husband’s showing you up with remembering all the important dates and you’re looking like an imbecile.
And now, just as I was starting to sort through some of this, I’ve realized that I failed somebody I considered a good friend.
I’m one of those people who can talk tough sometimes, and then I’ll go to my room and cry. I know a few weeks back, after an email from someone in that writer’s group I used to be in, I posted a remark about people who wanted to jump to conclusions without finding out the facts first could go fuck themselves.
If only it was so simple and I really didn’t give a shit. But I do. And there are days I absolutely hate that I care.
Something I should have done a few weeks ago, at least, was go on the record and tell you guys that if I’m not always commenting or responding as quick as usual, it isn’t personal. I’m still blog surfing but commenting less at the moment, out of sheer time pressures, although I’m much better with blogs than some other things. I’m still averaging close to 200 emails per day and although I’m staying on top of most of them quickly, the ones that require more time and attention seem to be suffering delays sometimes.
And it’s only going to get worse for the next bit. I’ve condensed the notes from my 10.5 hour critiquing session last week down to 23 pages of things to look at in one manuscript. Plus, my editor has promised goodies for me next week.
Which means work.
So, if you don’t see me, it isn’t that I don’t care. It isn’t even that I’m wrapped up in my own self-absorbed bubble and can’t be arsed to think about anyone else. It isn’t even that I’m not reading.
Truthfully, part of the reason this year has been really good and that I still can see a lot of positives in it is because I’ve had some friends who’ve stood behind me through thick and thin and been there when I’ve needed them.
I hope they know who they are.
The new Spinetingler should be up soon and you’ll get to read my conversation with Cornelia Read if you want to. One of the things she talks about is writing thank-you cards and wanting to show appreciation for those who’ve helped her.
And yet, we both lamented over how insane our schedules have become in the past few months, and how it’s getting harder and harder to do all the things we want to do… Truth is, there have been a lot of great things happen this year, and I'm still pretty excited. I don't want anyone to think I'm not grateful. I just feel as though my head's about to explode some days, but it's getting better.
Or so I keep telling myself.
One of the sucky things about my ms is that I have to weed out my musical references to Bruce Cockburn because I’ve been told he’s not well known in the US. But one of his songs rings true for me for how I’ve been feeling lately, and so I will share this here:
Sunset is an angel weeping
Holding out a bloody sword
No matter how I squint I cannot
Make out what it's pointing toward
Sometimes you feel like you live too long
Days drip slowly on the page
You catch yourself
Pacing the cage
- Bruce Cockburn
I’m going to try to deal with my personal stresses better, and hopefully not let anybody else down. As much as I know I have a lot of work to do this next month, the good news is, it’s my work and I can control my schedule.
Hopefully, when the dust settles, some of you will still be talking to me too. And even if I don’t seem to be around, don’t be shy. I want to hear from everyone. And help out however I can, if I can.
In light of yesterday’s post and stimulating conversation, I bring you this pearl of wisdom:
And, in very good news, polygamy has been legally recognized in Canada.
I hope Kevin can find a second wife that likes to cook and clean so I don’t have to.
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