Saturday, May 05, 2007

You say to-may-to, I say to-mah-to

Lazy mail carriers or threatening cat? Canada Post in Winnipeg has stopped delivering the mail to one house because they fear for the safety of carriers. Apparently, this is one violent cat, although no allegations of physical harm caused by the cat have been made. My thanks to Norby for passing this on - I note the Canadian news isn't reporting on it...

We can all thank Norby for this joke as well

A large company, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO.

The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers.

On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning on a wall.

The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant business.

He walked up to the guy leaning against the wall and asked, "How much money do you make a week?"

A little surprised, the young man looked at him and replied, "I make $400 a week Why?"

The CEO then handed the guy $1,600 in cash and screamed, "Here's four weeks' pay, now GET OUT and don't come back."

Feeling pretty good about himself, the CEO looked around the room and asked, "Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-ball did here?"

From across the room came a voice, "Pizza delivery guy from Domino's."

And you can blame Uncle Charlie for this blonde joke
Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock. Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home." The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less.

After buying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home."
 
The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word."
 
Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word.
 
After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, "I want you to send her the word "comfortable". The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, "comfortable?'"
 
The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde. The word's big. She'll read it slow.
("com-for-da-bul" )

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