Saturday, May 19, 2007

Meat Market

While I’m not particularly bothered by the sexist Spiderman figurine I am stunned by the results of a new survey about the dating scene. Another startling finding in the survey is 3.5% of the women asked said touching their breasts was an "acceptable alternative to hello".
Now, 3.5% is not very high, but if you're in a bar with 200 women, that means statistically somewhere there are seven of them who will let you shake more than their hands when you introduce yourself.
Of course, the secret is always figuring out which ones they are.


I can name at least one who falls in the 96.5%...

A few years ago there was a discussion about how group sex was popular amongst youth. It was the current trend. People speculated that it was the daycare mentality carrying over, with so many kids being raised as part of a pack by people other than their parents. I’ve been in and out of countless daycares and preschools and elementary schools – sometimes as staff, later as an aid to children with special needs – so I’ve seen a fair bit.

Especially when it comes to bathrooms.

And I’ve certainly seen a few boys streak through their classroom. Oddly enough, I’ve never seen a girl do that.

Which is why, I think, this survey is pretty surprising. Someone approaches you, says they’re doing a survey, and asks what’s an acceptable way to introduce yourself in the bar. And you just say it would have been okay if the guy had just touched your breast? What’s the follow-up line to that? And will we see the day when it’s okay to introduce yourself to a guy by walking up and grabbing his crotch?

While most women in the survey said they preferred a man introduce himself and start a conversation when they first meet, about 30% said "grinding" is an acceptable way to pick someone up.
"Grinding" is exactly what it sounds like -- a man introduces himself to a strange woman by coming up behind her on the dance floor and rubbing his pelvis against her.
In case you think this is a bit exaggerated, 84% of the women in the survey say this is how they have personally experienced new men introducing themselves.
And to think I wasted all that money on business cards.
Just in case you think this is a man thing somehow coded in our leftover male monkey DNA, a little less than half the women surveyed said they, too, first introduced themselves to men at a bar by rubbing a man's behind.


Now I’m really wondering what that movie, Grindhouse, is about.

All I have to say is that if people thought I was a prude 15 years ago, these young pups today would be calling me a dinosaur. I certainly didn’t see any of this at the bar last Bouchercon. Maybe I was looking in the wrong places.

As in, not at boobs or backsides.

On a different note, this totally cracks me up. I don't blame the police officer one bit, and I bet he enjoyed this one.

16 comments:

norby said...

See, that's the kind of moment when an officer is just happy to be an officer.

If a guy ever tried to greet me in a bar by shaking my breast or grinding against me, a stub of something would be falling to the floor. Holy Christ what is happening to decorum?

Sandra Ruttan said...

"If a guy ever tried to greet me in a bar by shaking my breast or grinding against me, a stub of something would be falling to the floor."

And I'm pretty sure you aren't a smoker...

norby said...

I stopped smoking six years ago.

Anonymous said...

Who are theese women? *speechless*
Chelbel

norby said...

I don't know, but if we meet any when I'm visiting you next month we are mocking them viciously.

Sandra Ruttan said...

I don't know Chelbel, but do you notice there are no guys commenting today? Maybe they all ran out to the bar to conduct their own survey...

(And Norby, perhaps I should let you guest blog during your holiday!)

Anonymous said...

I think the boys are very wise not to comment totay. It's like the "does my bum look big in this?" question, hehe.

A girl grabbed my male friends (ahem) "crotch" two weeks ago, he politly asked her to stop and she laughed at him!!!!
I just don't get it?

I just can't wait for you to come over Norby. I'm so excited!
And if you do guest blog, no embarassing pictures..
chelbel

Sandra Ruttan said...

I don't get it either!

And as though I'd ever allow embarrassing photos on my blog. This is a top-notch establishment, no mockeries or shenanigans. ;)

norby said...

I'm just going to sit here quietly.

How do you just walk up to someone and grab their crotch? Unbelievable.

Sandra Ruttan said...

Well norby, first you stand up. Then you put one foot in front of the other...

norby said...

Are you sitting too close to the litter box-I think the fumes are getting to you.

Erik Ivan James said...

Sweet jeeezus, I was born about twenty years to early!

~laughing~ Sam, allow me to introduce myself? J.

Sandra Ruttan said...

Ha ha J. Nice to see you - hope things are good.

XO
Sam

D.A. Davenport said...

The only way I'd grab a strange guy's crotch was IF he had touched my breast to introduce himself...and my grope of his tally-whacker would probably put him in the hospital for a day or two.

Anonymous said...

Tally-whacker? I can't wait to get an chance to use that! Priceless...
Chelbel

norby said...

Tallywhacker? Are you a fan of the Porky's movies by any chance?