Climax Now

There must be some cosmic event, aligning all the planets or the fourth moon is rising in over Jupiter when the sign of Sagittarius is rising or something, because in one of those peculiar quirks of fate random chance has collided with something else that’s been on my mind a bit.

I know it’s a great shock to all of you that I’m not fond of writing sex scenes. I’m not even fond of reading them. And on one of the discussion groups I read there’s been a discussion about that this week.

[Oh, and on a complete aside, my apologies to Russel for wearing you out yesterday. Hope you finally managed some sleep. ;)]

Last night, Kevin picks a show for us to listen to the commentary on while we eat dinner. And it actually isn’t important what show it was, as you’ll see in a moment, but apparently in Season 2 of The Wire they don’t list the commentators on the case. In pops Season 2, episode 6. Which would be one of my favourite episodes, in spite of the fact that it’s the episode D’Angelo dies in. But the courtroom scene is priceless. Anyway…

The commentary isn’t provided by the writers, the director of the episode or the show’s creator. Nope. It’s actors. Dominic West, who plays the self-destructive, whoring, drinking Jimmy McNulty (okay, he was during season 2!) and Michael K. Williams, who plays “homothug” Omar, who robs from drug dealers and is handy with a shotgun. And the actor called Omar a “homothug” on the commentary, because Omar is gay but as Michael said there’s nothing gay about Omar so it’s homothug.

Now, this is like getting the inside scoop on all the gossip on a show. For one thing, McNulty is never on top in any of his sex scenes because Dominic doesn’t want to show off his white butt cheeks. Thanks for sharing, Dominic.

But even better, these two fine, upstanding gentlemen give their assessment on all the breast shots in the show, from seasons 1 and 2. I think Callie Thorne should be a bit disappointed at only ranking #2, but that’s another aside. You see, this is why I listen to commentaries. When was the last time a group of guys ever did an assessment on quality breasts when I was around? When was the first time? And surprisingly, even Kevin was mum on the subject as we were listening to this insightful commentary. He was like Prez going to the titty bar, refusing to look because he was there with women.

But if I’m going to write from the POV of male characters, don’t you think it helps me to understand how guys rank boobs? And yet for some reason I can’t convince Kevin to share his opinions. He really is unhelpful when it comes to insight into the male mind.

Now, the one problem I have is that I’ll have to watch the episode where the #1 boobs are shown and see if I can figure out why they rank higher. Because the guys only provided partial assessment. Just, “Wow” and not much in terms of specifics. Size? Colour? I’m still left wondering exactly why one pair scored ahead of another. How do you rank good knockers, guys?

Now, curiously enough, this connects to a recent interview I did and subsequent remarks made to me by individuals that have convinced me that the next time I’m in Scotland I need to study the backsides of men more. Which raises a whole different set of questions. What makes for a good butt? Amount of cushion, firmness, general shape?

I don’t write much sex, but I’m beginning to see the potential up side in changing that. Think of all the research.

So, who’s going to fess up? What do you find most attractive about a person? And don’t you dare say, “Their mind.”

Bill, I expect you, at least, to answer this!

Oh, and in case you’re wondering about the title of the post, Dominic said in one of the sex scenes he did the director told him, “Climax now” and he had a little tirade about needing some warning, couldn’t just deliver on demand…

Isn’t that just like a man?