Monday, February 06, 2006

All Bets Are Off

This could be my shortest blog entry ever.

Except I'm going to put a joke on, so likely not.

Now, after hours of cursing, swearing, conjuring spirits and resorting to drink, I think I figured out what the problem was yesterday.

Blogger.

Okay, here's the thing. I finally wiped all the code and put in new code by selecting the same template. Guess what? It did the same thing.

I tried another template - same template family, different colours.

Also infected with the disease.

So, I tried a different template. Voila. And another template. Which worked as well.

Then I swore some more because I wasn't happy with the colours or the layout or someone I know already uses it, so after I stopped with the hissy fit, I finally got it sorted out.

I hope.

Now, somebody spoil my day and tell me it isn't working again. Go on, I dare you.

But isn't it appropriate that yesterday's post was "PLOT TWIST" and blogger threw me a hell of a curve ball?

Right. Now the joke. For Boy Kim, who didn't drop by yesterday. I'm going to spam him later if he doesn't get his butt over here.

And Erik, please tell me you can see Butt Cheek Blues now!

And James, I'm really honoured that you went through so much effort.


An elderly woman walked into the Bank of Canada one morning with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money.

After many lengthy discussions (after all, the customer is always right) an employee took the elderly woman to the president's office.

The president of the Bank asked her how much she wanted to deposit.

She placed her purse on his desk and replied, "$165,000".

The president was curious and asked her how she had been able to save so much money. The elderly woman replied that she made bets.

The president was surprised and asked, "What kind of bets?"

The elderly woman replied, "Well, I'll bet you $25,000 that your testicles are square."

The president started to laugh and told the woman that it was impossible to win a bet like that.

The woman never batted an eye. She just looked at the president and said, "Would you like to take my bet?"

"Certainly", replied the president. "I bet you $25,000 that my testicles are not square."

"Done", the elderly woman answered. "But given the amount of money involved, if you don't mind I would like to come back at 10 o'clock tomorrow morning with my lawyer as a witness."

"No problem", said the president of the ! Bank confidently.

That night, the president became very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of the mirror examining his testicles, turning them this way and that, checking them over again and again until he was positive that no one could consider his testicles as square and reassuring himself that there was no way he could lose the bet.

The next morning at exactly 10 o'clock the elderly woman arrived at the president's office with her lawyer and acknowledged the $25,000 bet made the day before that the president's testicles were square.

The president confirmed that the bet was the same as the one made the day before. Then the elderly woman asked him to drop his pants etc. so that she and her lawyer could see clearly.

The president was happy to oblige.

The elderly woman came closer so she could see better and asked the president if she could touch them. "Of course", said the president. "Given the amount of money involved, you should be 100% sure."

The elderly woman did so with a little smile. Suddenly the president noticed that the lawyer was banging his head against the wall. He asked the elderly woman why he was doing that and she replied, "Oh, it's probably because I bet him $100,000 that around 10 o'clock in the morning I would be holding the balls of the President of the Bank of Canada!"

(Don't throw tomatoes, just money.)

24 comments:

Bonnie Calhoun said...

Oh, Sandra...ROFLOL...LOL...That was great...I loved it...you are good! And the blog looks funny....just kidding...gotcha'! LOL

Sandra Ruttan said...

Bonnie!

Darn, I knew I missed another blog link when I was doing the mass reload.

And you made my heart skip a beat there! Man alive, you and pacemakers shouldn't be mixed!

JamesO said...

It's green, which I assume is intentional. I can read the words again, which may or may not be a good thing.

Blogger is indeed a mysterious beast, but it's free so we can't blame it too much for throwing the odd hissy fit.

And the word verification is 'mhrnh', which is pretty much the noise I made breathing out through my nose when I read that joke;}#

Sandra Ruttan said...

Yes, the green is intentional. It wasn't my first choice, or my second choice, but those options were consumed by the faulty code template.

So I'll have to live with it!

Bernita said...

I admire that kind of bag lady.

Trace said...

I love that joke! The blog looks awesome!

Sandra Ruttan said...

Bernita, it does make you wonder about bank presidents, though.

Glad you liked the joke Trace! I'm not sure if James liked it as much...

Dana Y. T. Lin said...

Hmmm... wonder if I could pull off a stunt like that???

Sandra Ruttan said...

ROFLMAO Dana! I think you have to be old and unappealing in order to get someone to take the bet, though.

Erik Ivan James said...

Sandra, how did you know I needed money real bad? Problem: the local banker where I live is a woman.

Maybe you will offer some solutions in Butt Cheek Blues.

Your blog looks good.

Sandra Ruttan said...

Hmmm. Would square breasts work?

Probably get you slapped...

Erik Ivan James said...

Ya know, that would be new also, getting slapped. Never been slapped before by a woman. I've had them try to choke me a few times, but never slapped.

Sandra Ruttan said...

I think it's wonderful everyone can share here. Technique, posture, preferences...

I've discovered that I've gotten traffic from places like Saudi Arabia and Ireland from people typing "Sandra Sex" into google.

So if you want to ramp up your blog hits, make sure you post about everything tawdry that people look at online!

Holy crap, look at the verification word. LHM.

jason evans said...

Template looks great. I don't see any problems. Good work sorting out the issues!

Sandra Ruttan said...

Thanks Jason! I was freaking myself out, wondering what I'd done, and it turned out it was nothing!

M. G. Tarquini said...

You did all that yesteday just to be sure that Blogger's blip wasn't you?

Sandra, honey, you need to get out more. Head over to Bardawill's where she puts up a pro-Canadian post and I sing a pro-Canadian song.

Go Canada!

http://somethingfell.blogspot.com/2006/02/ten-days-after-war-ended-my-sister.html

Sandra Ruttan said...

Well, the blogger meltdown happened to coincide with my attempt to fix my backdrop. So at first, I really thought that I'd screwed something up, because all the other blogs seemed fine that I visit.

Turns out all the other blogs used code that worked.

I'll get out when I can drive again.

Boy Kim said...

I was once slapped, in anger, on the cheek by a woman. It stung like hell.

Of course, these days...

And I'm glad you've been de-centralised, Sandrabbit. Not sure about the green though. But given your current lack of mobility, I can understand the need for you to remind yourself of those wide open spaces that you usually frolic about in.

"Time for bed", Said Zebedee.

Sandra Ruttan said...

Good, you haven't abandoned me!

'Cos I was definitely going to start the spamming campaign in the morning!

Yeah, I know about the green. Even though it wasn't my fault, I'm still afraid to tamper with the code now.

In case the entire network was corrupted by my efforts to fix the darned thing to begin with.

Gabriele C. said...

I've adapted my template to a point that the designer won't recognise it any more. And I've made a copy in my files. Plus a copy of the sidebar - just in case Blogger gets funny again. It has tried games with my first template several months ago.

Lol, and how did I who love my rumpsteak English, end up under Veggies on the sidebar? ;-)

Sandra Ruttan said...

LOL Gabriele! I don't know - I'm hopeless with the groupings! I feel I owe it to Stuart to always have him on top, but after that it all gets messy.

I was just finding the list too much to wade through, it was getting so long.

But I will move you right over to your own category - maybe you and James - a meaty one. Schnitzel.

I'd love to soften the colour on my blog but I'm terrified of messing around with it again. I did save the code, but clearly it wasn't me!

Bonnie Calhoun said...

Love the gold color...sheesh, I hope it happened on purpose..LOL

Sandra Ruttan said...

Hey Bonnie, thanks! Yep, on purpose. Trying to match my blog to my website! And the green was a bit sharp, some people said!

Gabriele C. said...

Lol Sandra, it didn't feel unhappy among the Veggies, only amused. But if you want to open a Schnitzel or Rumpspeak category, go for it. :-)

I tried genre separations (and a few extra categories for not writing focused blogs), and it works to some extent, but a number of blogs have ended up in one genre albeit the authors write different ones.