Sunday, September 24, 2006

Scottish Viking Does Road Trip in Style

It all started on Stuart MacBride’s blog, which is where most things peculiar start. And for the life of me, I can’t figure out how to do a direct link to a specific post over there, so I’ve copied the whole damn thing here.

Like Vikings Of The Open Road!

We had a visitation from She Who Must's parents last night. They're also from Fife, which maybe explains their choice of caravan -- it's a Marauder 380.2 in cream and pistachio... 'Marauder'? Hello? It's a bloody caravan! Marauder my arse. Picture the marketing meeting where everyone sits round the table, drinking lattés and playing with their ponytails:

Marketing Guy 1: "OK, you guys, we gotta come up with a name for this new caravan."
Marketing Guy 2: "What kinda something?"
MG1: [shrugs] "I dunno, do I? Something that says: 'Caravan'."
MG3: [having a bit of a think] "Hmmm...."
MG2: [pretending to have a think, but actually having a scratch under the table] "Hmmm...."
MG3: "How 'bout: HAPPY ROAMER?"
MG2: "Nah, that sucks ass. How 'bout: SUNNY WANDERER?"
MG1: [pounds fist on desk and looks disgusted] "Jesus, just poke a stick in my eye, why don't you? Naw, we're gonna call it..." [strikes dramatic pose] "MARAUDER!"
MG2 & MG3: [share a startled look] "Marauder?"
MG1: "Yeah! I like it! It's butch and manly. It says, 'I'm a fuckin' caravan driver, don't fuck with me, asshole! You fuck with me: I kill your whole fuckin' family!' That's what we want!"
MG2: "Cool! Let's go do more cocaine off hooker's boobs!"
MG3: "Yay!"

And so on and so forth. Marauder. Can you imagine the Viking hordes pillaging up and down the coast of Britain, dragging their three berth caravans with chemical toilets behind them? And if you're going to call a caravan the Marauder 380.2 (obviously the numbers are there to make it sound like some sort of weapon: Uzi 9mm, Magnum .45, Marauder 380.2 -- see, much more dangerous) the least you can do is paint the damn thing black. Maybe with red flames. And some skulls and crossbones. Not pastel pistachio with a cream roof!

No self-respecting Visigoth would be seen dead in one of those: all his mates would laugh at him.

Now, this is what Stuart didn’t post.

Photo credit: K. Robert Einarson

”No self-respecting Visigoth would be seen dead in one of those: all his mates would laugh at him.”

Draw your own conclusions.

Now, speaking of road trips, Kevin was called out last night. A couple of guys with too much to drink, a vehicle and a tank full of gas.

Kevin said the one guy was pretty messed up. Not pretty.

The other day, Bill was talking about his issues with flying. Funny, I know it wouldn’t be fun (to be in a plane crash), but the thought of being in another car accident…

Well, I like planes.

Bill directed me to this, and I have to say, I’m surprised at that outcome.

I am so not in favour of the NDP.

You Are 28% Capitalist, 72% Socialist

You tend to be quite wary of businesses, especially big business.

While you know that corporations have their place, you tend to support small, locally owned shops.

As far as the rich go, you think they're usually corrupt and immoral.


Bill Cameron said...

"As far as the rich go, you think they're usually corrupt and immoral."


Sandra Ruttan said...

Now Bill... I happen to know a few 'rich' people who are wonderful, good people. That will be three squirts from the water gun on you!

Anonymous said...

I was 36% Capitalist, must be the American in me.

I knew Stuart couldn't resist the call of the open road.

Susan Flemming said...

I came out pretty much even on Capitalist verses Socialist.

Hell, just checking off the question about health care moves a person towards the Socialist side of the spectrum.

And Sandra... I would never have voted for the NDP either, but since we moved to the States we've encountered many Americas who think that Canada is very socialist in it's policies... universal health care being just one of them.

Sandra Ruttan said...

LOL Norby! I would have expected 90% capitalist!

Susan, that's a fair point. Of course, I live in Alberta, and we're pushing the limits of universal health care in the other direction. And I understand that. My brother-in-law hurt his knee and it was taking months to get an appointment, so he paid for one and was able to get treatment immediately. It made the difference between feeding the family and ending up on welfare - not everyone has a desk job and can afford to be on crutches for six months.

So, I'm not very Canadian on that score.

(And can you believe Bob Rae is running for the liberal leadership? Who in Ontario in their right mind would vote for him after what he did when he was in power there? The name alone sends shivers down my spine - that was when I moved out west.)

Bill Cameron said...

Interesting. I suffer from having private U.S. insurance, which means it's through the roof expensive with really terrible benefits. I have it only in case of catastrophe, and there are months when I think, who needs it? Cheaper to just die.

I can't afford to go to the doctor. I had to go for something in January, and am still paying that off. Insurance? Hah! When I hurt my knee in June (curiously), I looked at the stack of bills on my desk and realized I had to suffer through it.

I'd love to have to wait months to be able to see a doctor, if it meant I could afford to see a doctor. As it is, well, I can only afford to get cancer or be in a crippling accident that nearly, but not quite, kills me. Too bad for me if I just get sick or injured. When you see me limping at Bouchercon, you'll know why.

Susan Flemming said...

We are in the same position that Bill is in. When we first moved here, Dave's company had a great plan but we paid dearly for it... our portion of the premiums was over $500 per month. Now Dave is working for a different company and we ended up without insurance when the company put him on what they called a leave of convenience for 6 weeks... we couldn't afford to pay the company's portion and our portion of the premiums during that time... so we now have no American health insurance. We are lucky in that we are insured through Dave's retirement plan from the army. But we have to pay for the services first and then send in for reimbursement because that insurance isn't accepted here. So if we have to go to the doctor I have to find the money in the budget. And that includes everything from a simple office visit to blood tests, x-rays... everything. It's a good thing that we are a very healthy family.

Nope... give me universal health care. It has it's problems to be sure... but no one in Canada ever sits in an emergency room or at the bedside of a critically ill family member and wonders how they are going to afford to pay the medical bills.

Dana Y. T. Lin said...

Wow, my percentages came out almost like yours, Sandra, Maybe I should move.

Sandra Ruttan said...

I think this is a case of neither system being perfect. Extra coverage does cost a lot of money. I'll never understand it. If people are sick, require care, can't work or pay income tax, it costs the government to put them on welfare or social assistance... Why not make sure people get the treatment they need to keep working?

DesLily said...

Insurance gets even worse when you are old like me... limited income (SS and whatnot) 12,000 a year.. my "health insurance costs me nearly half of that! And that's with a "co pay" and only 50% on meds!... I can't afford to get sick but when you are old things start breaking down...

even those that have something set aside will most likely not have a cent to leave to their kids to show how hard they worked all their life...

Bonnie Calhoun said...

The Blog is looking realyy good! You're getting the hang of it!

Sandra Ruttan said...

Thanks to you Bonnie!

DesLily, that's outrageous! Okay, you guys need a better system!

DesLily said...

no shit sherlock! ya think? lol...

Sandra Ruttan said...