Thursday, September 07, 2006

If I Got Off My Lazy Ass...

I'd look up the scripture that says 'in darkness light dawns'. Once upon a time I thought I might write something optimistic and use that title. But optimism is a real stretch for me.

Anyway, it's also been said that you have to kick at the darkness till it bleeds daylight. Love Bruce Cockburn.

It all boils down to simple truths. Shit happens. Get a good shovel.

There are other places you're better of visiting today.

Stuart's fuckometer is the funniest fucking thing I've seen in at least ten minutes. Probably a lot longer.

I'd like to point out that the word 'shit' appears only 5 times in Suspicious Circumstances, and the word 'ass' only 6 times. No fucks at all, other than those implied off camera.

Today also marks the launch of Mouth Full of Bullets and friends like Stephen D. Rogers and JT Ellison gracing the debut issue make this launch worthy of celebration. Be sure to check it out and spread the word.

Thought for the day

Practice pitching. When life hands you lemons you'll have good aim and free ammo.

16 comments:

Bill Cameron said...

Heh, lemons.

And the fuckometer has changed my life. Mine is almost done, and it's taught me something very important.

I've been fucking slacking.

Sandra Ruttan said...

Fuck yeah Bill!

Anonymous said...

I loved Stuart's fuckometer.

When I went on the study trip to Ireland there was a guy there from a school in Wisc. that kept telling people that only the lower, less educated classes use profanities in the US. I told him he must not know the same people I do. He informed me that I was proving his point. So I told him to fuck off. norby

Erik Ivan James said...

"fuckometers" can get one into serious trouble. Back during my "shining-times", about a hundred years ago, I had my own version of a fuckometer. It was an in-bed comparison list of the three women I was dating at the time. One of them happened upon the list. Immediate, ugly, and simultaneous end of three relationships. Um, did I say ugly?

Sandra Ruttan said...

Norby, that's what I would have said. Right after I told him he was full of shit. :)

Erik, darling... Not that kind of fuckometer. That kind is never a good kind to put down on paper. Ever.

Susan Flemming said...

I may just have to steal that title for an untitled story I'm working on. "In Darkness Light Dawns" Yep, going to have to let that one brew for a bit... see if it will work. Serendipity happens... lol.

Anonymous said...

Actually it was great. It gave us something to argue about for three weeks and me an excuse to swear like a longshoreman. I loved it. I think after a while he actually started getting nervous when I was around. norby

Sandra Ruttan said...

Susan, go for it. I'm more of a "the light at the end of the tunnel has been extinguished due to economic cutbacks" kind of girl.

LOL Norby!

Eileen said...

I may print out your lemon advice. I could use it this week. Yikes.

S. W. Vaughn said...

There's always candles, Sandra. :-)

I'm fuck-deficient. Only 39 in the whole first novel of the series. And to think I took some of them out because people said no one would read a book with 400 f-bombs in it.

Oh well -- think there's close to 200 in the third one. That oughtta make up for it!

Sandra Ruttan said...

Eileen, sorry to hear that. I bet you've got great aim, though!

SW, WOW! Talk about potty mouth!

Shesawriter said...

That F-meter was hilarious!

Sandra Ruttan said...

Shesawriter - isn't it though? I should do that for my next book!

Bonnie Calhoun said...

I think I'll just move on to another subject...LOL!

did you know that S.H.I.T. means Ship High In Transit. In the 16th and 17th centuries they used to ship manure dry...those ships leaked! Wet manure makes methane gas...Sailor opening hold with lit lantern = a fee trip to the moon! Thus the stamping on the dry bales...S.H.I.T.!

And that is your Metamucil moment for the day!

Sandra Ruttan said...

Bonnie, dare you to post that on your blog! LOL!

Amra Pajalic said...

Loved Stuart's Fuckometer. Made me think I have to up the profanities in my writing. I want to have a groovy chart too.