Monday, July 30, 2007

A Rather More Serious Schmooze

Having been declared schmoozeworthy by Christa, who is rather schmoozeworthy herself, I bring you my thoughts this Monday morning, which are about pulling the plug.

You see, Evil Kev ordered the complete dvd collection of Homicide, and we've been watching episodes. The other evening we watched an episode called A Doll's Eyes. A boy at the mall is struck by a stray bullet, left brain-dead and his parents must first come to grips with that and then decide if they should take their only son off life support. Yes, yes, a barrel of laughs all around and pass the popcorn please.

This prompted a rather serious discussion, because Evil Kev and I have not done our wills. Now, one might think that, after I nearly brought him home from Africa in a box I might have insisted on it, but it isn't exactly an easy subject. (And I think Evil Kev has a lingering conviction that when he dies it'll be at my hands or on the other end of my cooking anyway, so he doesn't want to make it any easier for me to off him.)

But what will really surprise you is that on Saturday I watched Last Holiday and between the Homicide episode Friday night and that movie Saturday afternoon, I bawled like a baby, damn these emotionally manipulative programs.

There was one thing that the main character in Last Holiday put in her will that got to me. She said she wanted to be cremated because she'd spent her whole life living in a box and she didn't want to be buried in one.

This much I know: I don't want to be kept alive by a machine. If my spirit's gone, let the rest of me follow. But I do like that sentiment about living in boxes.

Bet you all feel uplifted after dropping by this morning.

(And I guess I'm supposed to pick 5 schoozeworthy blogs? Well, I'll tell you some of my must-reads, even if I don't always comment:

The Bearded Wonderboy
MG Tarquini
PJ Parrish, who recently returned to blogging
Detectives Beyond Borders
Hillbillies and Hitmen...

There are, no doubt, others. But I'm making this optional tag, because I know how busy people are.


Anonymous said...

I was having such a nice day.

Randy Johnson said...

Death is something most folks don't like to think or talk about. I was that same way for a long time. But my recent health problems and my age brought reality home. I have a living will in place and disposal of my remains after death have been worked out and paid for for several years now. I don't like the "in a box" concept either, so I opted for cremation. Yes, a depressing subject, but one everyone should deal with. It takes pressure off your loved ones that might want to keep alive out of a sense of love. But being kept alive by a machine is not life. I'd rather not have that indignity heaped on me. Let me go and remember me as I was when alive.

Sandra Ruttan said...

You ever think maybe this is why I don't get invited to all the parties, Jack?

Randy, I agree with you. I know people beat themselves up with guilt and feel conflicted over far less than decisions about life and death, so making these decisions is the best thing you can do for your loved ones. You've taken the pressure off of them.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, we've been married 14 years, still don't have the will done either. Hell, my father-in-law is still the beneficiary on the hubby's life insurance policy. Yet I'm told on a daily basis that the hubby thinks he's dying any day now.

Go figure.

Sandra Ruttan said...

14 years Norby? I'm not feeling so bad now! Maybe ours will be our 10th anniversary present to each other. I know, I know, I'm a die-hard romantic.

Peter Rozovsky said...

I hate to break the mood, but thanks for deeming me schmooze-worthy.
Detectives Beyond Borders
"Because Murder Is More Fun Away From Home"

Christa M. Miller said...

Yeah, speaking of tagging and being busy and such, I just remembered I still haven't done the 8 things you tagged me for... :P

We don't have wills either. Which is REALLY bad because we do have the 2 kids. I think they are what's holding us up. It's easy to figure out who should get the baseball card collection, or the furniture, or whatever, but who should care for the kids? It's not as easy as assuming the grandparents will get them. Who can give them the emotional support they'll need if we both die at once, and who will be able to nurture them physically without having to deal with their own health problems? No easy answers - or friends to stand ready for us.

Anonymous said...

I also thought I'd want to be cremated but read recently that it's not good for the environment cause it creates a lot of emissions, especially with the coffin burning. So I'm hoping that I don't go for a while and by that time there will be eco friendly funerals and I can go the way Nate did in Six Feet Under. In a nature preserve with a tree to mark my spot.

Haven't done our wills either. Keep thinking I'll do it when we have kids. Can relate to Christa's dilemma though.

Sandra Ruttan said...

Peter, thanks for having an interesting blog!

Christa & Amra, I've had friends go through this, so I understand what you're saying, from that perspective anyway. Since I'm old enough to know how unlikely it is I'll have children of my own, I can only speculate on what it actually feels like.

I don't know why they need to burn the coffin with you. Perhaps we should start talking about our favourite funeral moments from TV - mine would be an episode of Northern Exposure. Anyone else an NE fan? There was an episode when Chris had a friend who died and Chris got the responsibility of making the funeral plans. In the end they flung the coffin off a catapult, into the lake. Classic NE.

pattinase (abbott) said...

We do have wills, but we come from the ark. I want a green funeral, where they wrap you in a biodegradable blanket and put you in the ground. Worms have never bothered me.

Stephen Blackmoore said...

See, if my wife and I get wills, that means we're grownups. And who wants to be a grownup?

When I die I want to be laid out in a red sequined tuxedo with sunglasses and a giant sombrero. And a motion detector loudspeaker so when people come up it'll shriek at them and laugh.

Sandra Ruttan said...

Patti, biodegradable blanket? That's an option? By that time, I won't have a problem with worms either. Or earwigs.

Stephen, it would be wrong to say I hope you die before me so I can attend, wouldn't it?

Patrick Shawn Bagley said...

Wow. I finally get onto the 'net after several days to find that Sandra Ruttan considers my blog a "must read." Very cool. Thanks for the plug.

Now...more silence from my end as I try to get this whole phone mess sorted out.

Moving sucks. We're staying planted here for the next several years.

Sandra Ruttan said...

Patrick, you have a great blog! I think just about everyone has a cooler blog than me. And I could have named others, but some Christa beat me to.