Wednesday, January 16, 2008

A Word or Two About Bras

(With thanks to Uncle Charlie. Consider yourselves warned...)

A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife."

"What type of bra?" asked the clerk.

"Type?" inquires the man. "There's more than one type?"

"Look around," said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material imaginable. "Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of bras to choose."

Relieved, the man asked about the types. The saleslady replied: "There are the Catholic, the Salvation Army, the Presbyterian, and the Baptist types. Which one would you prefer?"

Now totally befuddled, the man asked about the differences between them.

The Saleslady responded, "It is all really quite simple... "

The Catholic type supports the masses.
The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen,
The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright, and
The Baptist makes mountains out of mole hills.

Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the letters used to define bra sizes? If you have wondered why, but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for, it is about time you became informed!

(A} Almost Boobs...
{B} Barely there.
{C} Can't Complain!
{D} Dang!
{DD} Double dang!
{E} Enormous!
{F} Fake.
{G} Get a Reduction.
{H} Help, I've fallen and I can't get up !

The only thing they forgot was the German bra. Holtzemfromfloppen.

(Bet y'all've missed Uncle Charlie's second-hand contributions.)


Jim Winter said...

As far as I'm concerned, any discussion of bras is like the whole print-on-demand vs. traditional debate.

I don't care. I'm only interested in the content.

[I'm probably going to hell for that one.]

Sandra Ruttan said...

[I'm probably going to hell for that one.]

Well, maybe in the opinion of some small-minded assholes over the publishing part of the comment, but otherwise, you've only proven yourself to be a red-blooded male. And if all the red-blooded males are going to hell, I think I'll skip heaven. ;)

pattinase (abbott) said...

And no women I have ever known has been satisfied with her content.

Lyman said...

But what women have to understand is that most men are simple and don't care as much about the actual content as long as it's accesible.

(My only questions are, will there be any elbow room in Hell, and will I have to stand next to George Bush?)

D.A. Davenport said...

If I'm not in public, the bra doesn't go on. And that goes when I'm 90 and their down to my knees! What a torture devise!!

Sandra Ruttan said...

You know, when it comes to content, it works both ways. It's not how much you've got, but whether or not you know how to use it.

And Deb? Most days I'm not wearing a bra either. One thing some guys don't get is that lift isn't all about the bra, it's about whether or not you've got developed chest muscles. Just a little educational fyi.