Sunday, January 13, 2008

Thinking Ahead To Valentines For the Rest of You

Certain things are absolute certainties in life. Death. Taxes.

And disapproval.

Sooner or later, we all face that moment, when someone criticizes us, our decisions, our work, our relationships. Generally speaking, we’ve heard it since we were children, since the first time we let our parents down.

You’d think it would make it easier to deal with, but no. The more important a person is to you, the more their criticism stings.

But for those who have a hard time vocalizing their sincere disapproval, there is a site that supplies everything you’ll ever need. What you can’t say with flowers can be said with Despairwear.

I mean, I want this shirt.



Just a little something for men to think about.



They have something for everyone, including the person who’s stuck in a rut.



And if that one doesn’t appeal to you, try their take on consistency.



They know how to make you throw in the towel.



And they know just how I’ve felt about hope sometimes.



And I’ve definitely felt like there are times this sums up my life.



But when they say that their Bitter Sweets are ”Valentines for the rest of us” I’m glad it’s the truth. I know what I won’t be opening on Valentine's day.



There are three options for the Bitter Sweets.

"Dejected" sayings include:

I MISS MY EX | PEAKED AT 17 | MAIL ORDER | TABLE FOR 1
I CRY ON Q | U C MY BLOG? | LOSS LEADER | A FINE WHINE
MOMMY ISSUES | DIGNITY FREE | DORK MAGNET | PURE NAUSEA
WE HAD PLANS | MAIL ORDER | SETTLE 4LESS | I'M HOT INSIDE

"Dysfunctional" sayings include:

ANNULMENT | I BEEN CREEPIN | HE CAN LISTEN | GAME ON TV
CALL A 900# | P.S. I LUV ME | DO MY DISHES | BOOTY INFL8N
PAROLE IS UP! | AWFUL INLAWS | SUB PRIME | I WANT HALF
RETURN 2 PIT | NO FIX 4 DUMB | RATHER DRINK | MUTUAL DISGUST

"Dumped" sayings include:

I GOT SOBER | HE FIT U FAT | U LEFT SEATUP | USED U 4 FUN
JUST A FRIEND | BACK 2 KENNEL | DORKA PHOBIC | U HAVE A BLOG
RUSSIAN BRIDE | CELEB8 THX2U | DOG IS CUTER | TRADIN YOU IN
FORGET WE MET | KISS A FROG | SHE IS 22! | HE HAS A JOB


I wouldn't recommend them for anyone in a new relationship or this might be the result:



And if that didn’t completely cheer you up, try this for a little Sunday morning entertainment...



(For the video, blame Brian. I'll take responsibility for the rest.)

4 comments:

JamesO said...

The Horse Doctor got the Demotivators Calendar for Christmas (not from me, I hasten to add.)

My personal favourite is 'Just because you're necessary, doesn't mean you're important.'

pattinase (abbott) said...

When my kids were little I had one that read Josh and Megan's Mommy. That might say a lot about why it took me so long to do my own thing. Maybe wearing it isn't a good idea. Or maybe it's a call for help.

Sandra Ruttan said...

I find it hard to pick favourite demotivators. Mistakes is one of them, but also Dysfunction - about how in every bad relationship you've ever had you're the consistent factor. Cracks me up.

Patti, I think there's nothing wrong with being Mommy, unless all you are is a role. Alternate it with a shirt that says "I'm my own person" and you should have karmic balance!

Graham Powell said...

I like the fist smashing into a face: AGONY - not all pain is gain.