I really am going away...

But first, three things:

1. A journalist admits they all got it wrong? This is worth reading.

2. I've poked fun at this ridiculous thread about the forthcoming Rebus book before, but it's reached new heights. Or is that lows? The emotion, the angst, the drama of it all... It's enough to make me want to get a bowl of popcorn and wait for further entertainment. Did you detect the note of sarcasm? Here's a word to the wise: Never take the word of some random person on a forum as fact. Got The Boot got it right.

3. And finally, a joke. A naughty adult joke, so if you don't want to read something like that, stop now.

A husband and wife love to golf together, but neither of them are playing like they want to, so they decide to take private lessons. The husband has his lesson first. After the pro sees his swing, he says,

"No, no, no, you're gripping the club way too hard!"

"Well, what should I do?", asks the man.

"Hold the club gently," the pro replied, "just like you'd hold your wife's breast."

Taking the advice, he takes a swing, and POW! He hits the ball 250 yards straight up the fairway. The estatic man goes back to his wife with the good news, and the wife can't wait for her lesson.

The next day the wife goes for her lesson. The pro watches her swing and says, "No, no, no, you're gripping the club way too hard."

"What can I do?" asks the wife.

"Hold the club gently, just like you'd hold your husband's penis."

The wife listens carefully to the pro's advice, takes a swing, and THUMP -- the ball skips down the fairway about 15 feet.

"You know, that was a lot better than I expected," the pro says. "Now, take the club out of your mouth and hold it in your hands...

I really, truly am resuming my holiday now. See you via email.