Thursday, November 30, 2006

How Far Will You Go?

Whenever there’s an unusual amount of blog traffic I try to check my referrals to see if someone’s linked to me or something. I try to make sense of it.

As a result, I’ve discovered people blogging about me. And I’ve discovered I’ve had posts linked to news services.

I’ve also discovered that some people type in the weirdest things imaginable. Thanks to a comment Anne Frasier once made, in connection with my own post, “Sandra wonder boobs” typed into a google search brought people here. Probably disappointing for them.

Today, someone ended up here googling “Canada first Prime Minister”. WTF?

It’s hits like that that have me wondering just how far people go in a google search for something. I’m pretty lazy. Unless I have some specific reason to be motivated to look further, I’ll go two, three pages deep. That’s 20-30 hits.

Last week, when I saw an odd combination pop up on the referrals I typed it in and started going through the pages. The referral to my blog was #92.

Do people not have lives? Who would be so motivated to wade through 90+ links on a google search, just to end up here?

It does seem like an appropriate day to share the following, sent to me by Norby. I’m slamming on a pressing deadline – as in, it’s due today – and going cross-eyed.

Hopefully, things will be back to normal around here soon. Whatever normal is.

Interesting Things You’ll Learn If You Have Boys

1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3.) A 3-year old boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6.) The glass windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.

8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.

10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4- year old Boy.

11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12.) Super glue is forever.

13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15.) VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.

21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.

25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.


Anonymous said...

I rarely get past the first page. With me it's, "Google finds...Oh, look a bird!" *runs away*

Anonymous said...

"16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes."

I can verify that.

I was ten years old and I had one of those little plastic army guys with an attached parachute. You'd toss him into the air and the 'chute would open, delivering him safely to the ground. I looked at the parachute. It was the same kind of plastic they used to make sandwich bags.

So I figured if that little baggie made a good 'chute for my army guy, then one of those 40-gallon lawn and leaf bags ought to do the same for me.

My bedroom closet was built as an addition to the house, so it stuck out and had its own roof. I climbed up there, held the bag behind my head with both hands and got a good running start. When I reached the edge of the roof, I jumped as high as I could...and dropped like a rock. I laid there a while, then dragged myself inside and watched cartoons.

That pretty much set the pattern for the rest of my life.

Sandra Ruttan said...

I'm with you Bill. Although in my case it's usually cats.

Patrick, ouch. Mind you, I was pretty bad for scrapes and such as a kid, but I don't think I ever tried that!

anne frasier said...

most googled on my blog used to be root canal versus pulling. now it's breastfeeding puppies. several a day.

Sandra Ruttan said...

There should be a "do not drink before reading" alert on that comment, Anne!

Deb Baker said...

Okay, this one had me rolling on the floor. Been there, done most of that.

Evil Kev said...

"Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it."

Hmmm, I think it is time to find the brake fluid in the garage. I have something I need to try out...

Sandra Ruttan said...

Glad you enjoyed it Deb! The crazy things kids do...

Kevin, don't even think about it or I'll ground you.

Anonymous said...

I have to admit. I have never checked. Does Site Meter include that info in the report?

Sandra Ruttan said...

If you log on to sitemeter you can click referrals. It will tell you how the last 100 visitors accessed your site. That's how I found out I once beat John Rickards in a technorati search for 'horsefucking'. It was a proud moment...

John Gooley said...

Someone once found my blog by searching for "doggie cum".

I just had a look at the most recent search term used to find me and it was "on the death of a young man".

I think I prefer "doggie cum". Somehow I believe it holds the meaning of life.

Christa M. Miller said...

I've learned always to drop whatever I'm doing when I hear the phrase, "Mama, look what I'm doing!" The sparklier the tone of voice, the faster I drop.

And I have two of these now....

Good luck on your deadline!

Sandra Ruttan said...

And now people googling that can find my blog too! Thanks for sharing the wealth.

Sandra Ruttan said...

Good luck managing those two, Christa!

Anonymous said...

Not many Google Searches found me. But one interesting one was "melissa gilbert nose job".