Fear of the Unknown

We all know the saying, no news is good news, yet I find no news drives me mad. It’s the worst thing in the world. I spend more time agonizing over what I don’t know than what I know.

And this is something I’m going to have to get used to.

It’s funny, because I seldom give it a second thought as a reviewer. I usually try to offer up my reviews in advance. Okay, sometimes I forget. Sometimes the author doesn’t want to read it. Sometimes the author does read it. It doesn’t matter – I’ve never rewritten a review to satisfy the author.

But now I find myself wondering if the waiting drives them mad. Do any of them agonize over what the forthcoming reviews of their book will say?

I don’t know about all those well-known authors out there who typically get reviewed. Maybe they’re so numb to it, it’s all second-hand. But I have to tell you, the realization that there are people out there reading the ARCs, who may or may not write reviews, is getting to me. Some even email to say they have the book… that’s nice… then nada.

I have to wait for the flippin’ review. ARGH!

I don’t know if going through this will make me more or less sensitive to authors I’m reviewing in the future. It’s quite possible that the if I had to deal with it, you can too side of me will show no mercy to any author in a similar position, though it’s more likely that I’ll be more sympathetic to authors in the future.

Truthfully, I don’t have time to get back to each person who gets reviewed in Spinetingler. But I can at least feel the pain of waiting for the reviews.

Last night, Kevin discovered that James Patterson’s website quotes from a review from Spinetingler, amidst many others. But still. That’s so… weird.

I suppose this isn’t so different from submitting work for publication. Despite the fact that we clearly stated all summer on Spinetingler that we were focusing on the cozy noir entries and that we wouldn’t resume consideration of regular submissions until the fall, some people evidently didn’t see that on the front page. Or the submission guidelines page.

It’s funny, because I’ve been dealing with a lot of submissions lately. Most of the Spring 2007 issue is edited. Half of the stories for the Summer Issue have been selected. The Fall issue is at 12,000 downloads. There is a stack of submissions in the inbox that haven’t been read yet.

And what have I learned? That no matter where you are in this process, you’re waiting. You send off the manuscript and wait to hear whether or not it’s accepted. You send off your edits and wait to hear if they’re good. You send off review copies and wait to hear if reviewers decided to review them, or if they liked them. And in some cases you may never know.

You wait for your book to come out and wonder if people will like it. And again, you might not always know.

I hate waiting. I’m the most impatient person in the world. This career is like an ongoing trial for me. How on earth do people cope?

All I can think to do is bury myself under a mountain of work and try to get so distracted that I forget about it, but somehow, the closer we get to January, I have a feeling that’s going to get harder and harder to do.

Not politically correct. This one’s from Deletta. You know you're a redneck when...

1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.

2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.

3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.

5. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.

6. Someone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, guys, watch this."

7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia boss.

8. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

9. Your junior prom offered day care.

10. You think the last words of the "Star-Spangled Banner" are "Gentlemen, start your engines."

11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.

12. The Halloween Pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.

13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.

14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.

15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at The House of Tattoos.

16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.

17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

18. You like being out in the front yard with no shirt on... and so does your husband.

And Finally:
19. An East Tennessee couple, both real-live rednecks, had 9 children.
They went to the doctor to see about getting the husband "fixed". The doctor asked them why after nine children would they choose to do this.

The husband replied that they had read in a recent article that one out of every ten children being born in North America was Mexican and they didn't want a Mexican baby because neither of them could speak Spanish.

And this just in. Miss Snark has graciously plugged Spinetingler, despite the fact that we have at least one editor with a suspicious name on our staff list.

Somehow, I have a feeling we’re going to need to brace ourselves for another deluge of submissions, but that’s okay. It’s an honour to be so well regarded by Miss Snark. Maybe I should interview her some day? There’s a thought… First I need to schedule that interview with Ken Bruen, though. (No, Ken, I haven't forgotten!)