Useless Cats

Question: Why would a cat lie at the very bottom of the stairs, right next to a door that has not one but two big huskies on the other side of it? Huskies who consider cats to be something of a cross between snack food and play toys?

Answer: There’s a mouse behind the bucket with the dog bones.

Now, at first glance, this actually makes my cats sound quite normal. Even sensible, considering all the years of programming passed on through the generations.

However, when I moved the bucket to see why I had a couple cats fixated on that particular spot, the cats just sat there.

The influx of mice this year has been a bit irritating. I’m not a fan of creepy crawly things in general, and the only thing that ever made me look favourably on mice was experience with rats when I lived in BC. Alberta is blissfully rat-free, but I do not like rats. Or BC spiders, those gigantic ones. Freak me out, I hate those things.

But I digress.

So I left it to Kevin (who I’ve been bugging to do something about the mouse problem for a while) to deal with the mouse.

If I’d been thinking I would have gotten myself popcorn and a comfy chair.

Now, the players in this scenario, other than Kevin were:

Nootka, who is basically the cheering section

Chinook, the alpha male

The Mouse

Skittles, now known as Stupid

Stuart, who is now known as Spawn of Stupid

After I determined there was a mouse there, I replaced the bucket. The standoff had been going on for a few hours, and to be honest there was no better way to prove my point about the mouse problem than the proof that the presence of multiple cats was not deterring them from venturing upstairs.

And admittedly, I didn’t tell Kevin what was behind the bucket when I told him to pick it up.

At this point, it became something of a comedy.

Now, behind the door, as I mentioned, were two big huskies. They were on the landing. Kevin moved them behind another door, the one that goes to the basement, and left the door from the upstairs to the landing open. He got a container and decided he was going to catch this mouse.

Then he looked down and said, “Where did it go?”

Stuart had been lying on the bottom, right by the door, but she’d been tossed up to the top of the stairs. Skittles was lying two steps up, and still lying two steps up.

Kevin moved the few pairs of shoes on the sides of the stairs. No mouse. He then scoured the landing. No mouse.

Surely the mouse didn’t get past Skittles?

Why yes, it had. As Kevin moved more shoes, there it was, having gone up a full step past the cat, who was oblivious to its presence.

Kevin’s attempt to catch it sent it scurrying back down, and Skittles did nothing more than turn his head to watch.

Stuart just sat there, watching as well, proving herself equally useless.

The mouse scurried across the landing, and slipped under the door to the basement. It took less than two seconds for that mouse to do a 180 and run back out to the landing, clearly more frightened by the dogs than the cats, so it headed back for the stairs.

Kevin did manage to get his container over it. He then managed to lose it. Off it went, so fast, it proved itself stupid enough to forget what was behind door #2.

And when Kevin opened the door, there it was, a dead mouse covered in dog saliva.


Our cats are very good sleepers.

Great at grooming.

Outstanding at commandeering chairs and settling down for 18-hour naps.

But two of them have proven they haven’t got anything on the dogs when it comes to catching mice.

(I was going to include more photos but blogger is being pissy this morning.)

In other news the original Spinetingler site has been updated, along with the new pdf for download, and Angie has Megan Abbott In For Questioning this week. Check it out!