So, Have You Heard About The Newfie Terrorist Who Tried To Blow Up A Bus?*

In my efforts to broaden my cultural understanding, I asked a Scottish friend yesterday what the deal with Fife is, if it was like us with the Newfies. Since the response was, “And what’s a newfie?” I was suitably shamed by my failure to properly educate regular readers of this blog about this important segment of our population. After all, every country has a whipping boy or a designated punching bag and for Canada, well, we’ll make fun of anyone in the country, but the old standby is… Newfies.

I found a great blog in my quest for Newfie jokes. They have the one about the Englishman, Irishman and Newfie that go hunting and a touching nod to the attempts of the foretellers of doom to include the Newfies:

A Toronto man with long, unkempt hair and beard,
wearing a long white robe and sandals, carries a sign
which reads, "The world will end at midnight."

Then he turns to reveal the back of the sign, which
reads, "12:30 in Newfoundland."

There’s also a survival guide at the bottom of the main page that made me smile.

Of course, over on Newfie Rednecks they don’t worry with being so polite:

What's black and blue and floats in the bay?
A mainlander telling a Newfie joke

Personally, I like the little shot at the top: “Newfoundland was the last province to join Confederation in 1949. They had the choice of either becoming part of Canada or part of the US. They decided to join Canada, and became our national joke. No, seriously, Albertans are a national joke, but that's another story...”

(Of course, I’m not an Albertan, so I can laugh at everyone. Stick around for the full education and you’ll see people don’t make fun of Ontario – just Toronto, which gets me off the hook.)

There are more Newfie jokes here, along with an intro that made me smile.

Now, sometimes, our national comedy shows get a bit carried away.



They do address the age-old question, Is it okay to use the N word?



Okay, those are a bit... Cruel. You see why I groan when people do the, "Canadians are so nice" thing. We can be just as nasty as anyone else. But if you’d like a sample of that “unintelligible brogue” the one site referred to, check this out. I haven’t a clue what the woman’s saying half the time, though with my luck, Fifers will be able to understand perfectly. (And please note, the comments about sexual orientation here are more of a shot at Albertans than anything else. Conservative stronghold of Canada.)



But just to prove we’re equal opportunity offenders….



Really, can you take a country seriously when we have to try to persuade our citizens that sex is better than curling?



And it wouldn’t be Canada without weather jokes.



So, the Newfies are who we poke fun at, when we aren’t making fun of blondes or Bush.

Now, if you'd like to see what we do to Americans... (Told you we really aren't that nice.)



(Bonus points to those who know what's wrong from this video.)

* He burned his lips on the exhaust pipe.