Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Negligence

One of the things I've been guilty of lately is not giving nods to other bloggers the way I used to. Part of this has to do with reading less lately, but every now and again something comes along that simply must be read to be appreciated.

With thanks to Brian for the link, I'm going to point you in the direction of Jeff Somers. Who is he? Yet another author. Boring, right? Like there aren't ten zillion of them blogging already. But anybody labeling their blog with the tag word "Bullshit" has my interest. His post made me smile, although I find myself wondering if there isn't a clause in the contract that forbids him from revealing his publishers sins. He might be on toilet-scrubbing detail sooner than he thinks.

Norby tells me I haven't posted jokes lately. This is true. Norby was so offended by my failure to amuse she sent me a joke to post, so I will.

A woman walked into a Lexus dealership to browse, and spotted the most beautiful, perfectly "loaded" Lexus. She walked over to inspect it more closely. As she bent forward to feel the fine leather upholstery, an unexpected little burst of flatulence escaped her. Very embarrassed, she anxiously looked around to see if anyone had noticed. There, standing right behind her, was a salesman.

With a pleasant smile he greeted her, "Good day, Madame. How may we help you today?"

Trying to maintain an air of sophistication and acting as though nothing had happened, she smiled back and asked, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely vehicle?"

Still smiling pleasantly, he replied, "Madame, I'm very sorry to say that if you farted just touching it, you're gonna shit when you hear the price.

Betty also sent me a joke, and it's worth posting too.

One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he suddenly remembers that it's his daughter's birthday. He pulls over to a toy shop and asks the salesperson, "How much for one Of Those Barbie's in the display window

The salesperson answers,"Which one do you mean, sir? We have: Work Out Barbie for $19.95, Shopping Barbie for $19.95, Beach Barbie for $19.95, Disco Barbie for $19.95, Ballerina Barbie for $19.95, Astronaut Barbie for $19.95, Skater Barbie for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.95"

The amazed father asks: "You what?! Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95 and The others only $19.95?

The annoyed salesperson rolls her eyes, sighs, and answers: "Sir...Divorced Barbie comes with: Ken's Car, Ken's House, Ken's Boat, Ken's Furniture, Ken's Computer and...One of Ken's Friends."

And in all honesty... I am slamming on the new Spinetingler issue. I still have a couple reviews to write, and an interview to transcribe. (And that always makes me squirrely.) I'm also reading Christa Faust's MONEY SHOT in an effort to get my advance review done for July. And the dogs have been systematically unraveling the chain link fence that keep them from chasing horses and deer.

In other words, life is conspiring against me here, but one of these days I hope to be alert at 5 am instead of an immovable lump, and to have caught up on all my work. Of course, not only do I need to finish this issue, I need to finish clearing the backlog of Spinetingler submissions first...

7 comments:

Brian said...

It almost makes me want to buy the guys book

Sandra Ruttan said...

Yeah, he's funny.

Chris said...

I'm sure you get more ARCs than you'd ever care to read, but every once and a while (like, for example, when a shiny new Hard Case Crime stares back at you from the TBR pile) it's gotta be pretty darn nice. The rest of us poor saps have got to wait a couple months to get our grubby hands on MONEY SHOT...

norby said...

I wasn't chastising or anything, just making an observation. You've been very serious lately-I thought maybe you needed a joke.

Sandra Ruttan said...

Chris, if I'm not mistaken you have to wait until 2008 for Money Shot... Yes, sometimes it is nice. Kevin collects the HCC books.

Norby, I know. I've been in a serious frame of mind lately. Or am I confusing that with grumpy?

Chris said...

Ouch. You are, of course, correct. I'd transposed the release dates of SLIDE and MONEY SHOT in my head. Must be this damn heat...

Sandra Ruttan said...

Yeah, sorry about that. Although from what I've read (which is a considerable chunk of it) it will be well worth the wait.

I know, I know, I'm such a tease...