Saturday, December 29, 2007

Backwards & Forwards

I had a dream last night, and in it I was let down by someone really important to me. If that doesn’t sum up 2007, I don’t know what does.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot, because it’s the time to put up those year-end posts, talk about all the milestones of 2007 and the things to look forward to in 2008. I’ve seen them around the internet. And if you were to ask me to write a post based on how I’m feeling right now, it would be a reasonably cheery one.

It’s when I start thinking back to the beginning of the year that things run dark.

What I’ve learned? Not much I can share here. As it is, some have a tendency to read into my posts and take personal inferences from them – presuming I even know what’s going on with them. Truth is, I’ve only limped by a handful of blogs in the last few months.

But if I were to put down the things I’ve learned this year, they would come back to certain people, and what they taught me about “friendship”, careers and knife-sharpening.

I was thinking about it last night, when I noticed that someone had gone on a tirade, attacking a respected author. Left me thinking that when you sling mud, you inevitably get yourself dirty too. That’s why I’m not mentioning names.

Maybe I have learned something.

I’ve definitely learned that there are a few people who’ve been in my life for a short time who have been more sincere and honest with me than some others I’d thought were my friends for a few years. It’s funny, because I’d think by now I’d know that…

One bad incident after another, where people proved they’d rather lie, abandon or betray than stand by someone, I ultimately thought I might never trust anyone new again. You could say my inner circle’s smaller these days, though I’m tight with the people who are there.

But a few people still managed to work their way in. One has, in such a short time, taught me more about loyalty and friendship than I could have imagined possible. Got there with consistency and the patience of Job, and really snuck up on me that way.

To the “old” friends – the remaining faithful – I raise a glass and send my love. I wish we lived closer, that we could cross paths more often, but no matter how long it’s been or what’s happened in between, I’m here for you always.

To the new friends, I feel fortunate to know you.

To the other one, the healer, pouvez-vous jamais savoir combien de force vous m'avez donnée? Rock and anchor.

I feel honoured and blessed.

To all, I wish you the very best in 2008.

I’m not doing a best reads list for the year, or going to tell you the books I’m looking forward to next year. I can tell you I’ll be blogging less, but I’ll be around in different ways, ones I hope you’ll enjoy.

And in the next week or so you just may see what could be my most controversial blog post ever. Proving I may have been down for the count for a while… but I’m definitely not out.

And it should be noted there are 9 days left until the last season of The Wire begins. There is a conversation some of you may find interesting and wish to join in on. It would be great to get others to post their highlights.

Oh, and courtesy of my friend Rob Lord, more on The Wire.

13 comments:

Austin Carr said...

Oh, boy. A stunning Ms. S rant on the way! I'm going to the store to buy popcorn.

Sandra Ruttan said...

Better make it extra-large. ;)

Daniel Hatadi said...

2008 is going to kick butt in all kinds of ways for you, Sandra. I'm looking forward to watching it all happen.

anne frasier said...

i agree with daniel about 2008. it's gonna be a good year.

big hug -- and i'm stocking up on popcorn too. :D

Sandra Ruttan said...

Well Daniel and Anne, we'll see if 2008 kicks my ass, or the other way around. ;)

And Anne, I think you'll have a special appreciation for this post that's coming.

Amra Pajalic said...

Sounds like 2008 will be a time of rejuvenation. Lots of change and you're going to make it positive.

You've got my curiousity aroused about your next post. Just as well I check your blog daily so I won't miss it.

Good luck with 2008. Imagine me lifting a champagne glass in toast to your achievements so far, and the great things to come.

Vincent said...

Is Sandra vs. 2008 going to be on pay-per-view? Whatever, I'll put money on Sandra - I'm sure whatever it throws at you, by the end of the twelfth round you'll still be standing.

Though I don't know how much store to set in dreams - I woke up this morning after beating up half a dozen people (purely in self-defence you understand) and I'm sure I'm way too nice to do that in real life, even figuratively-speaking.

Daniel Hatadi said...

Ruttan vs. 2008: Less ass kicking, more ass grabbing.

So I've heard. ;P

Austin Carr said...

I'd better make it BUTTERED popcorn.

norby said...

She won't even give hints about this controversial post. The wench.

I think we're both in for a better year in 2008.

Anonymous said...

Never mind the popcorn give me notice and i'll have a large vodka in one hand and a shot of something small in the other!

Mmm, my nose is at me now.

Chel.

RAC said...

Sandra,
Have a happy new one - 2008 will be great for you, I'm sure!
Best,
Richard

angie said...

It's been a helluva year, hasn't it? I'm holding out hope that 2008 will be much, much better. Er, no. I DEMAND that 2008 be fab. Or I'm gonna insist on a refund.
;)