Thursday, October 25, 2007

Someone Get Jesus Some Lederhosen

An anti-pornography activist wants officials in the Alpine city of Innsbruck to take down a large crucifix bearing a sculpture of a naked Jesus Christ.
Martin Humer, who gained notoriety last year after he painted part of a statue of a nude Mozart and stuck feathers on it, is pressuring authorities to remove the crucifix from a public square where it has been displayed for 20 years, public broadcaster ORF reported Thursday.


Is it a full moon or some other cosmic event? Because the crazy people just keep coming out of the woodwork…

Okay, let me ask this. If a person has been guilty of bestiality and gets turned on by the site of animals, would pictures of dogs and cats then be considered porn? I would think so, since porn is defined as “films, magazines, writings, photographs or other materials that are sexually explicit and intended to cause sexual arousal.” (MSN Dictionary).

If so, we must lobby for all animals to have their backsides covered when in public or being photographed… Right?

Oh, but wait. Wasn’t there something in the porn definition that talked about intent? “Intended to cause sexual arousal”.

So don’t we have to track down the creator of this offending image and ask him if he intended for people to get turned on when they saw a naked Jesus nailed to the cross? Because really, that’s what these prudes are saying. That they see this image and think, “I wanna get me some of that.” (Why yes, I am burning in hell, thank you very much. But at least here we get to watch the film versions of John Rickards’ Hardboiled Jesus. With beer and extra-buttery popcorn too, and we can make smors. Ummm.)

However, it’s one way of putting a site on the map. Now I really, really, really want a cover with a naked person on the front (and maybe a pop-up penis inside) so that the moralizers of society can take offense and start the book burnings. They’re wondrous for sales.

9 comments:

Randy Johnson said...

I liked that last statement. People that moralize for the rest of us never seem to realize that the more hell they raise(pun intended) the more people will want something. If they just shut up, things will eventually fade away.

Sandra Ruttan said...

Exactly Randy. But I think if you can't beat 'em, use 'em. Just think of all the free publicity. This is my mistake. I should have tried harder to offend evangelical Christians in my writing.

(Said with tongue firmly in cheek. I'm not really interested in offending just for the sake of offending.)

angie said...

D'ya think he'd be happy with a jock strap and sunglasses? I mean, who says Jesus can't be cool...

KarenC said...

Personally I'm starting to wonder if it's a surfeit of crazy people or a desperate shortage of woodwork.

There are days when "What The...." just doesn't cover it.

Anonymous said...

I am a dirty girl, i want a pop up book!!!!
chel

pattinase (abbott) said...

Very funny. Better early morning reading than the newspaper today. And the moon is full. Thanks.

Steve Allan said...

pop-up penis - that should be in a Viagra pamphlet. "Got Penis?"

It's nice to know that there are people out there that care so much about what I shouldn't look at. Please keep protecting me.

mai wen said...

I wonder what these people would say about the little boy statue in Brussels that pees (I think it's called like Mannequin le pies or something)... it's been there forever and actually used to provide clean drinking water for he local people of Brussels. Should that little piece of history be torn down because of possible pedophiles being turned on by it? They do dress it up seasonally, but not all the time.

Trace said...

Mmmm. Beer and buttery popcorn.