tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18499463.post5241284616169285746..comments2023-10-31T11:37:50.028-04:00Comments on on life & other inconveniences: The Mind Games People PlaySandra Ruttanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06109584805469336742noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18499463.post-74924518999362441372007-02-12T11:22:00.000-05:002007-02-12T11:22:00.000-05:00Daniel, I love that!Bill, yeah, I know!Trace, I ca...Daniel, I love that!<BR/><BR/>Bill, yeah, I know!<BR/><BR/>Trace, I can be that way too!<BR/><BR/>Norby, can't wait to meet you in person, LOL! I don't mean that quite the way it sounds...<BR/><BR/>Angie, you've said all the stuff about silence I planned to say and forgot, or didn't even think of. Absolutely right.Sandra Ruttanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06109584805469336742noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18499463.post-45901209070383093792007-02-12T10:51:00.000-05:002007-02-12T10:51:00.000-05:00I've always been shy but you'd never know it. I te...I've always been shy but you'd never know it. I tend to be very bubbly and outgoing, but it's me throwing myself into the fire. It's how I deal with being shy.Tracy Sharp - Author of the Leah Ryan Serieshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12239533451929739327noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18499463.post-40650261936022535472007-02-12T10:36:00.000-05:002007-02-12T10:36:00.000-05:00The people I've met on forums probably wonder when...The people I've met on forums probably wonder when I'm going to shut the hell up. In just over six months on one forum I've logged almost 1500 comments. I know exactly when I'll be quiet, the moment I meet them in person. Then my heart will race and my tongue will cement itself to the top of my mouth.<BR/><BR/>I'm looking forward to Bouchercon, but in some ways it will be a nightmare, all those people, talking, maybe expecting me to talk? Yikes. <BR/><BR/>One of my friends calls me the great observer-he says I sit back and watch others interact rather than joining in. Then later I can tell you exactly what they talked about and how they seemed to feel about it (that would be the communications degree coming out). I find that much more comfortable than actually trying to insert little old me into the conversation. <BR/><BR/>Like Bill though, once I get to know you, watch out, you'll be wanting to duct tape my mouth shut. No, that's not permission. norbyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18499463.post-15707380140563208842007-02-12T09:51:00.000-05:002007-02-12T09:51:00.000-05:00I have two things working on the shyness front. I'...I have two things working on the shyness front. I'm shy until I get to know you, which means I can be very quiet at first, but then once I get comfortable, watch out. As you well know.<BR/><BR/>But sometimes, especially in groups, I'm very garrulous BECAUSE I'm shy. Being big and talkative can be a distancing mechanism. If I manage to occasionally be funny too, I can get away with it.Bill Cameronhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04796321136771189464noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18499463.post-16731240574602609832007-02-12T01:28:00.000-05:002007-02-12T01:28:00.000-05:00On the subject of silence:(...)And on small talk.M...On the subject of silence:<BR/><BR/>(...)<BR/><BR/><BR/>And on <A HREF="http://xkcd.com/c222.html" REL="nofollow">small talk.</A><BR/><BR/>Man, am I feeling minimal today.Daniel Hatadihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00453583064175651509noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18499463.post-76868131771300645932007-02-11T23:51:00.000-05:002007-02-11T23:51:00.000-05:00I used to be completely quiet & shy. At a party,...I used to be completely quiet & shy. At a party, I was the one in the corner watching all the different little clusters of dynamics at work. I still am horribly, horribly shy in large crowds of people I don't know well. I've learned to speak up, although it is often exhausting and I can only do it for short bursts.<BR/><BR/>Re. the silence...sometimes people are busy, sometimes they're still watching to see which side they want to fall on, sometimes it's very much the ol' "if you can't say something nice" maxim. I absolutely pay attention to who does or does not speak when an issue comes up - silence is as definite a response as yes, no, or maybe. Just a little more on the cagey, ass-covering side of things. Unless, the person was truly distracted by their own shit & on the clueless end of things (been there often enough myself!).angiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01751466673491487048noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18499463.post-26319602126316937212007-02-11T21:12:00.000-05:002007-02-11T21:12:00.000-05:00Kevin, I think of you as being the closest to Bond...Kevin, I think of you as being the closest to Bond that walks the earth. But you do feel, and that's the key. I was reading in Priest the other day, the quote, "I only know the heart exists on what it daren't lose." You've got at least on thing that falls into that category. ;)Sandra Ruttanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06109584805469336742noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18499463.post-82282608596653344732007-02-11T21:04:00.000-05:002007-02-11T21:04:00.000-05:00Great post. I was shy, too... no, I'm kidding, of ...Great post. I was shy, too... no, I'm kidding, of course. But as someone from the opposite end of the spectrum, someone who always felt comfortable in his own skin and at ease with crowds and strangers, there's something that's often struck me - the people who are cruel to the shy are often only a step away from shyness and insecurity themselves.<BR/><BR/>And of course, children sing about sticks and stones because it's untrue - why else would we need such a mantra?Kevin Wignallhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00387105790403552165noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18499463.post-65362618698808052422007-02-11T19:18:00.000-05:002007-02-11T19:18:00.000-05:00Jack, I think it could be. For better or worse I ...Jack, I think it could be. For better or worse I don't see the internet going anywhere.<BR/><BR/>Love the photo!<BR/><BR/>Spyscribbler, you were shy? And too shy to speak up about school - isn't that ironic. I think I know exactly what you mean about being too shy to act shy. Sometimes I have to turn a mental block on and not think about anything... Until afterwards when I obsess over every word I said and thing I did and wonder how I made such a fool of myself.<BR/><BR/>Then I crawl under a rock for a long time.Sandra Ruttanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06109584805469336742noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18499463.post-30127904948773619292007-02-11T18:57:00.000-05:002007-02-11T18:57:00.000-05:00Wow, I love this post! I've always been shy. In ...Wow, I love this post! I've always been shy. In preschool, when my parents were asking the teacher if I should go to kindergarten or wait a year, the teacher said I should wait because I was too shy. <BR/><BR/>I was too shy to speak up and say that I really, really, really wanted to go to kindergarten.<BR/><BR/>Some people are surprised I'm shy. Truth is, I'm often too shy to act shy. LOL, if you can make sense of that.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18499463.post-50061924918807936502007-02-11T18:35:00.000-05:002007-02-11T18:35:00.000-05:00Sounds kind of dark, but it's good to get that out...Sounds kind of dark, but it's good to get that out. <BR/><BR/>I was thinking today, that most people I'd like to know are too much like me. Too busy with a paragraph or interesting drawing to actually get out and meet. <BR/><BR/>That's frustrating, because I enjoy the contact. But instead of cooking supper tonight and chatting with a group of hypothetical friends, I'm typing internet comments while watching a DVD. Is this the future?Jack Ruttanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11202365155540203592noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18499463.post-59966463056145809972007-02-11T13:21:00.000-05:002007-02-11T13:21:00.000-05:00Yeah, we're all guilty of that I think Anne.I woul...Yeah, we're all guilty of that I think Anne.<BR/><BR/>I would say the exact same about you - I love your blog and online persona, I love hanging out with you. Wish you'd come to B'con just to hang out, you know? Totally sucks we all live all over the place.<BR/><BR/>One thing about the in person me vs the online me. It's much easier to turn a computer off to escape!<BR/><BR/>I kept a straight face once. I was sleeping at the time, but I heard no matter what Kevin said to me I didn't react at all. ;)Sandra Ruttanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06109584805469336742noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18499463.post-18990470561180909392007-02-11T13:13:00.000-05:002007-02-11T13:13:00.000-05:00i'm guilty of not speaking up when i should. i've...i'm guilty of not speaking up when i should. i've actually been working on that for the past couple of years, because i think most people need to voice more thoughts and opinions. but sometimes it's a question of finding the right way to say something without offending, and then it becomes too hard and it's dropped. but too many people just stand back and watch the show.<BR/>when i was little i always tried to be invisible. that's a hard habit to break.<BR/><BR/>the two sandras:<BR/><BR/> i'm crazy about both sandras -- blogging sandra and in-person sandra, but you are so right about the eye twinkle. in person that ornery twinkle is always evident. <BR/>i think i've said this before, but sandra must be experienced in person.anne frasierhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13044828332429421657noreply@blogger.com